omg!

okay. how cool does this look. haha,

i found this thingo and im like okay lets try it out if its gna help me make the collage quicker. and omg it looks so cool. but u cant exactly see all the pics clearly. maybe i'll do another on or try another site but im so facinated by it. haha it amuses me :)

im so bored!
and i miss my friends!
lol. havent seen of talked to some of them in a while.
the last friend i talked to was ness, last night and kinda this morning. :(

so lonley and this weather is pulling me down.

lol. looking through the pics of this year. i think im bothered to make a collage. haha. and then i'll put it up here.

okay at least i have something to do now..ima go do that. its gna be big and full of memories <3

to do with friends list: ONE DAY.......

•run down a random street with ness, singing a random song loudly:L haha that'll be fun;)
•have a sleepover at a friend's place(Y) with lyk all fun and games
•go on a camping trip with friends - kinda. with school. but we need a real real one :)
•go out to the city without adult supervision :O
•take ness to olympic aquatic centre for the first time:L haha
•meet bestfriends from primary (Y)
•do amazing race at the city or any other place with friends
walk around woodcroft with ness, in the rain. but not pouring down --' haha.
go beach



still more to come but i forgot a few. ness u no wot im talking about?remember how i sed i would make a post on the one day things coz everytime i sed something ur lyk ONE DAY... well i forgot some so if u remember please let me know. lol. thanks :D

so this was made on the 27.5.09. and ive done a lot of these. and have more to add on for 09.
mainly a list of ONE DAY things to do with ness. :)
(in bold what ive now done)

Souls of the faithful departed. rest in peace.

no matter how old, or how young, you can never really get over the death of a loved one. today begins the Holy season of Christmas! a day for family to get together.. a lot of people went to visit their family members who have passed away. its so sad but its life.
people were crying so much, some had christmas trees at the grave, others decorated it with tinscel and cards. praying so much, talking to this dear loved one that they have lost. although they are now in the Kingdom of God, looking down upon those who they have left behind..
there are always those questions, why us? why did this have to happen? why now? WHY?
so many people were at the cemetery, forest lawn in cambelletown. we prayed for those departed sould..may they rest in peace.

it hurts to remember..the times you have had with this lost loved one. makes you miss them even more.
but it hurts even more to forget, your time with that loved one. how much they did for you and how much you wish they were still here..

it hurts even more knowing that they are gone..
so we remember those who we love, for good and the bad.?

i miss..

.. those thursday afternoons where we would jst chill.
haha. go for a walk to the lake, talk, make puzzles :L haha. jst have fun :)
seems so long ago that we all did that.



.. all those years that have gone by so quick, didnt take the time to make it count..



.. haha. those random afternoons where everyone who could come, crashed my place and we'd jst eat and have fun. .. no matter where we were, or what we did. whenever we were altogether, we always had so much fun.



.. those days where, everything WAS simple and easy to understand.

..when everyone was happy. period. (nothing really got in the way of this happiness..)

..when we all felt more complete, knowing what we were meant to do and who we are.

..when christmas felt like christmas. the true meaning and even the season of giving.

..the people who meant so much to me, and now it feels like they just walked out.. :(

..the big influences in my life..

well im sure we all miss so much more..

change. 2010 :)

okay. my friends.
ive personally noticed, towards the end of the year, how much ive changed. and i dnt like the person ive become, not as much as the better person i used to be, and i know i still can be :)

so 2010. one of my new years resolutions..
2010 will be my academic year! ima try my hardest and i know i can do it! :)

change, be a better person, a preson i know i'll be more proud to be. i will still be me, but less attitude towards my parents, and less temper tantrams! its kinda hard for me, with the family i have but i know i can at least try.

umm. idno what else. i guess. make myself proud and be all i can be, im tried of always trying to do it for my parents. this time its going to be for me!

also, i guess. taking time to admire and appriciate everything, my friends. most of them are leaving mcauley after yr10. going to other schools and atm im staying coz im not bothered looking..also next year i have to make the effort to do things.

lol. be more active. in every aspect of my life. with my faith..and yeaa!

haha. thats all i can think of for now, but im looking forward to next year. gna learn from all my mistakes this year and improve for next! haha.
<3

dearest angel,

naww angelica. im missing you already.
haha. every time i pass woodcroft maccas or that spot near the lake i always think of you and the awsome time we had. just laughing our heads off, at the wrond things. haha. mann did we have fun that afternoon. :) so many memories..

angel, ive realised towards the end of the year, haha i spent so much time with you. as it was just u and i wen you came over, that time you also slept over. lol had so much fun talking, laughing, running down my street from eating too much, and then you falling asleep on me..haha while i was still talking to you --'
lol the theropy couch in my living room, mann do we leak a lot over there. haha. omg playing wii at night, boxing and tennis. and lol did i beat you in bowling :L naww. so much fun :)
haha. you doing my hair --'

woo. the good times just keep rolling with you dnt they? haha. and im so excited to do soccer with you next year too. :)

naww. i feel lyk talking to you atm. idno why. haha. cheer me up maybe? idno why im feeling down, and i no even you have those moments, and then you msg me and let it all out :) love listening. and always will. haha.

so your on your amazing adventure. to the phils, with your lovely family. having an awsome time im hoping. from the last convo u and i had before you left, i hope you packed all the right stuff you needed. haha. just incase clothes too. ;) and dw, take risks in the phils angel, and dnt be scared to try new things. haha. but be careful at the same time :)

naww i love you angel. and i wish and hope that you and your whole family have a very merry christmas and a happy new year.

take care. and look after yourself.
love always,
ninoshka <3

hope is like the rainbow on a rainy day..

it seems now days arent as short.
they feel long. boring. dull. and well..the sky is grey. it seems. as always as though it is blocking the light everyone is so desperately looking for.?
really. what happened to those days, where even when the sun wasnt shinning, we found something to laugh or smile about? what happened to those days were. idno. everything was so simple..

..it seems that when we stopped looking for that extra something that makes us happy. we stop caring about the me in life. we give up on ourselves. we give up on the hope that we know is there, it just has to be found.
why does it seem that the times when we struggle the most. when we cry out the loudest. we feel as thou no one is listening? we feel as thou no one is willing to make the effort to save us and help us find that extra something on a cloudy, grey day that makes us so happy. so different..?

hope is like a rainbow on a rainy day.. you know its gna be there after the storm, you just have to look hard enough to find it?
hope like a rainbow..is never lost, just hidden in the most obvious place..?

(lol idno why but i had to share. something jst on my mind and yeaa. its a dull day today..)
woahh. i swear thats weird! i didnt even read that image properly but liked what the beginning said, i uploaded it and then read it. and it so relates, and i didnt even realise! haha. thats cool? :)

made my day..better :)

haha. so my mum's on my dads facebook atm talking to one of our good family friends, still living in dubai and lyk she remembers me as a baby haha and said ive changed so much and lol she loves my smile? :D
hehe. idno but when i get a compement on my smile, idno? haha. just makes me smile more than usual? :) haha. shes having so much fun. my mum that is :L naww. haha shame almost everyone living in dubai is filo. that could have influenced me, wen i was 3. my mums filo friend lynn, she sang me a song from pocahontas <3 naww. she was a beautiful singer, i can never forget that! haha. and yeaa! mann i wna visit soon. even thou it will be expensive, i wna know and see more of my birth place. and lyk do all the things i did when i was still a baby. so i can actually remember them. i do remember some events but not a lot :(

<3 haha

moving on.. :L

lol. so many people on blogspot moving to tumblr. and one of my friends, haha jerrica was fully telling me. its so much better, you can lyk follow people from all over the world and that :) haha. its so much better. just get tumblr already.
haha dw bloggers. i dnt think i'll be moving to tumblr anytime soon. or maybe if i get bored and am bothered making one i will, haha for fun? :L although i really do lyk the reblogging thingo :) haha.
and im having fun with my new findings of changing the background thingo :L
im so sad.. haha.
mann i was so pissed before, i kinda still am but my lovely friend vianca is helping. i really really dnt lyk deandra. the only sister i have is marilyn. and brothers noel and dexter :)

<3

.. no wait. lol. looking through peoples tumblr i think i might just make one. and follow more people. but im jt gna play around with it for now. haha. im not gna abandon blogspot! ;)
oohh. haha this is gna be interesting.

FAIL! D:

you knwo whats worse than other people disspointing you?
.. you disspointing yourself!

faa. i really did try this term. it hurt so much to move down in english classes, from advance to standard but then frkn hell! getting this report hurt even more. theres not a single frkn grade to smile about. i frkn tried so much, so hard to move back up. and even worse, instead of doing better, i did worse! :'(

i was so sure, sure that i would get a good report. and i no, its not the end of the world. but it is something i have to show my parents. and i know i CAN DO BETTER. only, what they see is the frkn letter on a piece of paper. mann. im so pissed, at myself. i could have done so much better, but noo. i didnt did i? :l
i no i need to try harder, i no i can do better. and i WILL. next year. omg. and this report will give my mum even more reason to get tutoring --' for science, english and math! and i dnt want to. im gna be so busy next year, coz im even signing up for soccer with angelica! :) im excited about that, ive wanted to join ever since my cousins started playing, and that was lyk in 2002 or 2005? but yeaa. finally. haha.

and now im kinda worried, my mum too will be disapointed and well. i hoped that i would be able to go out these holidays. on friday too. and omg on thursday is my sisters 16th bday party. even thou her bday is in january, its just coz everyone is elsewhere --'

dispointment surrounds me..once again. only difference is that this time, its my fault.. :(
great way to end my school year of 09 isnt it?

change.

lol. i tried to change the look of my blog.
it kinda worked, the theme thingo i used was fully pink. --'
so that had to be changed, so i jst coppies something else and now its grey. i dnt mind it, but i dnt want my blog to seem dull? haha. so yeaa! ive got to work on changing that. but i like the layout thingo.

jst wanted to share. haha :)
<3

holidays..

ima set some goal these holidays, and hope to get most of them done..

.im gna try go jogging, if not everyday at least every second day, i need to get into shape --' lol
.uhh i wna go out as much as possible, lol i dnt really wna stay home that often, although i doubt my mum will let me go out everyday. and im broke too.
.read. lol finish those books ive started.
.to save, but also spend- reasonable amounts? ;)

lol. there are a few things i plan to do these holidays! im already excited, and shocked at how fast 09 went! lol. i was reading old mail and letters and stuff, from lyk last holidays..seemed lyk it was ages away..
im so excited for our christmas vacation! :)
only thing is..4 more school days, with work to do --'

wish list.

Dear Santa,

ive been a good girl this year, i promise :)

• and this year for christmas i wish for..
  the ability to learn how to spell --' im kinda having trouble, and now its embarassing. lol.
  
• my aunty to come visit..i miss her!


• money, please! :)
  
• for everything to be alright again, better, for everyone, and with everything! <3


• for some reason, i would like legos? haha. i find them so interesting? :L


• happy times, lyk they used to be! :(
• a job.. lol even thou ive applied for none --'

okay.. maybe these things are just wishes in general, not that they are very materialistic but well, things i really want..not all the things, coz well. i dnt wna share everything. haha

<3.>

..on another note..

lol. so i was on the phone with my friend vianca right. talking about stuff. and then about the holidays, and her bday. and shes lyk ur gna miss my bday bash..coz im going to whitt sundays? :) but im only going for 3-4 days? and i wont be missing her bday! haha. im lyk how can i miss it? ur never here for your bday, and shes lyk ye. last yr i wanst here but the year before that i was. and then im lyk, well then i wasnt really your friend :( haha. but then shes lyk ye you were, and im lyk noo i wasnt. haha and she was lyk ohh yeaa! you werent..
lol. then i sed, wow. see lyk two years ago, i didnt even really know you :(
haha. and shes lyk, took you long enough. to find us. haha. mannn you've been missing out..
and ye mann. i have been missing out..to think it was only two years ago that i was still getting used to the fact of starting new, trying to make new friends. and then i found them, and damm did i miss out, but now that i have found them..i couldnt be happier! <3 hehe. love them all.
made me realise, how close we all got, in almost, what seemed lyk such a short time.. pretty amazing aye? and made me realise..realise that we have come a long way, and im glad for most of my experiences on my journey through high school. haha. so many great memories

haha. love you all, and love you vianca <3
ive missed out, and now i no longer have to. i too, cant realy imagine high school without you.

opinions..

alright, so today we found out that this year 10 is the official last yr10 at mcaluey to be having a yr10 formal.

now, when i heard this i was kinda upset. but i think people in our grade are over reacting too much. lyk i no everyone has their own opinion and that, and it should all count. but taking into consideration, the reason for canceling it, it seems so reasonable right? people dnt even think. lyk i know, for a fact that i didnt even consider that as a factor of why this had to happen. and yes yes, im in the same grade as all you guys, i too feel that its always us, we are the one to make the sacrifices, but arent we mature enough to realise why this happened, and that we arent the only ones to loose a formal. all the yr10 students after us, after 2009 wont be getting one either, and yea it seems real unfair that this years yr10 get one, and that were next, but lyk mrs wilson said, its gotta start somewhere, and we should be mature and responsible enough to take it well.

its only yr10 formal, we still get one in yr12. the one that truely matters. but wait. not everyone thinks about that, yea were all so keen on planning our own, but why should we blame poor mrs wilson, shes only the messanger. im sure she wouldnt do this too us..

we all think differently right? have our own opinion. well when i heard, after seeing everyone go off at mrs wilson, i was thinking and kinda even said, we still go to the beach. it shouldnt even matter what we do, how we do it, or were we have it, just who were with. and thats what the formal should be all about, the people were with, our loved friends. who says we cats have a picnic at the beach and not call that fun, mann im looking forward to it. why not, i'll be with all my friends, and year group, we'll ALL be there. spending a day together at the beach. why cant people see that, see that its not all about wearing fancy expensive dresses, lyk i wouldnt mind. i too would love to have a formal..but i wouldnt make such a big deal out of whats happened. maybe a bit, but not as much as people are.. or maybe thats jst me? idno. all i know is that after a while, after thinking about what the purpose of the yr10 formal is all about, most people will hopefuly be able to realise the reason its cancelled..

i did say what i was thinking, and i do lyk to express my opinion, just lyk everyone else. but when i got the reactions i did, after saying that. i jst thought, shutting up would be best.. i dnt want everyone pissed at me, just because im not making a big deal of this situation.. now i would be that pissed too, if there was a different reason, lyk due to the behaviour of osme of the students in our grade, but doesnt it sound fair and reasonable that its cancelled. im not saying that im happy about it, but just try to understand the people, the students that do need this, take into consideration everyone in the form, not just you and your friends..

mann if i knew i would get the sort of reactions i did, i wouldnt have said a thing.. :/

learning everyday..

"make a WISH, place it in your HEART. anything you want. everything you want.
do you have it.. good. now BELIEVE it can come true. you never know where the next miracle is goign to come from, the next smile. the next wish come true.
but if you believe its right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you're wishing for... the world is full of magic, you just have to believe in it. so make your wish..do you have it..good. now believe in it with all your heart.." ;)

..one tree hill <3

<3

"Only God can give you your life,
and only God has the right to take it away.."

reflection

wow. its november, already!
mann this year has gone heaps fast, and even thought im glad its almost over. i regret so much, looking back through the events of this year, 2009 and even most things that happened towards, i wish i took it all in. while i had the chance..

i remember the beginning of the year so clearly, i really do.
first few weeks were a shocker, finding out i was in advance english and science, i felt so proud. and first few weeks of school, i was also missing my friend, vianca. who was still in the phils. half of term 1 went so slow, at least thats how i remember it.
haha. but jan, feb, march and april were awsome! :)

january; i dnt recall much happening, or wait.. i think i do?
febuary; it was vanessa's brithday, and omg we went ice skating, hehe. my first time and omg it was awsome! so much fun. haha. i wna go again!
march; angel's brithday and dnt remember what else.
april; abby's bday and also i went to queensland, and ohh. haha i saw vanessa there :)
...

a lot happened alright. lol. okay. fine. in my head i remember most of it anyways, and i really miss it. so much happened this year, a lot of complications? :/ but i guess its also whats makes this year so unique? somethings i want and i try to forget, but i just cant.. ehh, oh well.

so the year went on, most days were better than others, i remember those days so clearly, lmao. still remember half of my friends doing 40 hour famine, woo. most of us finished ;) i did. hehe. mann its not easy, not one bit. haha.
.. those days, i wish i appriciated them more, because, well. i havent felt, idno. i jst fel a tad different now.. ? its hard to explain. i feel normal, but then looking back theres always that something more i want? lol. kinda hard, i dnt even understand myself.

and then lyk last night, i stumbleed across this pic of one of my closest friends from primary, i miss her so much! lyk she is one crazy girl, laughs at almost anything. haha. i miss being around them, all my primary friends. no matter how hard i try, sometimes i just cant help but wish and think that i was still that close with them. we went through a lot together, and now its lyk that was all nothing? idno. i just wish we all kept in better touch, so it wouldnt be so hard. jst looking at those pics, seeing them, brings back so many memories. and i went through a lot in primary, to make friends and that. kinda lyk high school, only with less help, and it was way harder :(
but i dnt wna sound lyk i dnt appriciate the friends i have now, im not trying to say that at all. its justhard to bring back so many font memories, when now, it feels lyk thats all ive got..

lol. got kinda carried away there. sorry. and id better end it there. should get ready.
until next time <3

isnt it just? ;)

hey bloggers :)

isnt it just..?
..
weird how one thing can cause so many reactions..?
..
sad how sometimes is feels lyk the more you try, the harder it gets?
..
i did have this post a while back. and i apollogise for not finishing it. sorry.
<3

just a little thought ;)

A stranger stabs you in the front; A friend stabs you in the back; A boyfriend stabs you in the heart; but best friends only poke eachother with a straw :)

lol. just thought this was kinda true, in a way? haha of my little friend on facebook.

life..

HEHE. dnt you jst love photobucket? <3

time is lost

today made me realise something important..

last night my family and i went to cambelltown as it was my dads aunt and uncle's wedding anniversery. we went there to celebrate, haha i was the youngest one there, as always. but was heaps fun, all their children that were there were lyk 25-30 yrs old, but so much fun talking to them :L haha. and my dads anunt's mum and brother came on holiday from india, they came about 10 days ago? and this was the first time i met this aunty, from india. she was very sweet and quiet. haha. a very simple woman too, she didnt say much, but sitting there in the same room as me, watching tv. everyone else left and it was just the two of us, she looked at me and i have her a friendly smile. everyone else came and we all got talking :) really a lot of fun, and damm it was so hot! lyk really. they had a fan on but it was still so humid indoors so my second cousins and i went outside and got talking. the aunty, i think she went into her room. might have been tired?

we only got home at lyk 12.30am. pretty tiring. anyways today my family and i went for a munsimine mass? if thats how u spell it, the mass for the death of our family friend's father. it was very sad. and after that, on the way home, my mum called my dad's aunty, the one who lives in cambelltown and then she was talking to her, the conversation didnt sound too good. the aunty from india, well she was very sick, she was rushed into hospital :o i think she had a heartattack, but her heart and her kidneys were failing. and she couldnt breathe either. as soon as we got home, my mum and dad changed and drove to cambelltown, to be with my dads aunt and uncle, they all drove to the hospital. all the kids were there, my dads aunt was very upset at what was happening, so my mum came for support and to help out. my rents were there for hours, they came home and told us that the aunty was on life support, then later we got a call. she passed away :'( its scary to know, that only yesterday i met her, gave her a smile, and wished her goodbye, not even knowing that was the first and last time id see her.. :(

i didnt know that aunty at all, except that she was on my dad's side of the family. now my dads aunty and family would be greiving, due to this tragedy.. :( she was only on holiday, and now she wont be able to go back to india, will probably be burried in australia, due to the expenses of flying her home..

and then today at the munsimine mass, i was meant to read the prayers of the faithful with the grandchildren, who were 5 and 6. i didnt, but their mother did. and i sat infront of the church, and looked after my little man, he was just walking around the seats and stuff, i was standing next to my family friend, it was her father that had passed away, and she started crying and my little man dwayne, looked at her and smiled, it brightened his aunty, even though she was crying, and then i saw it in his eyes, dwayne may have only been a yr and a few months but he knew exactly, that his aunty was sad.. so he slowly walked away, still looking at his aunty, trying to work out why she was so sad.

one smile, can make such a big difference

and so, when you meet someone, or just bump into them. give them a friendly smile, you never know if ur gna see them again..?

(8) more than anyone..

a pretty cool song, from one tree hill. lol. ;)
na, really it is. well i think so. haha.

You need a friend
I'll be around
Don't let this end
Before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
To change your mind of me?

I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna love you more than anyone

Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color
Look inside of me
Tell me all you need and I will try
I will try

I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna to love you more than anyone

Free for you, whenever you need
We'll be free together, baby
Free together, baby

I'm gonna love you more than anyone
I'm gonna hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm gonna love you more than anyone

I'm gonna love you more than anyone

more than anyone, Gavin Degraw

yes, another ;)

okay. im sorry its just that oth has got me thinking..
everyone has something unique and rememberable about them right? something that makes a difference..
well in one ep i watched today in oth. lucus, was dying. he had a heartattach due to his best friend being hit by a car, hist best friend, hayley was also pregnant..
anyways, wen he was unconcious he went with his late uncle keith. he died and keith was guiding lucus, showing him a life if he wanst nice. lucus is the guy everyone loves, everyone turns to for help and everyone trusts. he asked keith, whats the point of being nice? when all the nice people are always getting hurt. then keith showed him a life, a life where lucus wasnt nice..
lucus saw what this life was lyk and didnt like it one bit.. everyone was affected by lucus, for who he is. the nice guy.
without this nice lucus, the world was a bit darker, one of his dearest friends, and now one and only love, peyton dies, because of something lucus didnt do. but because he is the boy he was, she was saved, and peyton always says that to lucus.."you always save me.." and its true.
lucus saw so much more, it made him understand how being yourself, and not changing who you are because bad things may happen to good or nice people, you still leave a mark on the ones you love..
if u watch it, you'll understand what im talking about. i cant explain it that clearly so sorry. haha
and so that got me thinking..
what if i didnt smile? thats kinda selfish wouldnt it be? if i took that away from the world. and i no, i cant keep a straight face, guess thats a good thing right? but if something serious does happens, or a really am down or jst dno whats going on, then i dnt smile. or the worst times, when i just cant find a reason to smile.. but then theres always a reason to smile..
i tried not talking once, for a while at school. couldnt take it, and well, started talking again. you know what, i guess sometimes we jst need to be reminded i guess, of how much we are appriciated? how much we are loved and cared for, just lyk lucus realising how much he meant and did for everyone. you can really learn a lot.. more to say but idno.

i think sometimes we all should just see ourselves through someone elses eyes, so we know how people see you, because sometimes you cant even see it yourself? dnt undervalue yourself. just think first..?
<3

its overr!

naww. what a pitty. just finished watching seasons 3 and 4 of one tree hill! and now im in need of buying season 5! haha. once you get a taste you just wana finish it all? and thats what i want. haha.
naww, what a great way to end season 4, they all finish and graduate high school. and are on their way to making their future. their goals. and all of them are gna stick it out, till the end! together forever. just lyk my friends and i! :) its gna be the same hopefully, were all gna do our own things in life, but still make time for eachother. still be friends, because no matter what goes on in life, you should always have that feeling of support, care and love from your friends right?
this last ep also kinda made me realise how fast time goes, lyk for the people in one tree hill, they just had 4 yrs of high school. and coz its america it was lyk freshmore year and senior year then they graduate. thats kinda lyk us only we have 6 yrs in high school, 3 of which i have already completed. being in yr 9, looking back you really see how far you have come. how fast time has flied. i can remember it so clearly, the beginning of all this, in yr 7. the troubles i had, and now thinking of that, i dnt feel bad about what didnt happen- (me going to sac) but instead what did happen, meeting my awsomely amazing friends at mcauley and starting my high school journey there. a lot has happened since that first day of high school, well easier just to say first yr of high school. and im kinda glad..
also makes me realise how much has already happened on my high school journey and mann next yr! its gna be sad to say goodbye to a few of my dear friends moving to other schools. guess we'll jst have to make the most outa it and appreciate the time we do have together, which as always will BE AWSOME! ;D

you know you can really learn a lot from ONE TREE HILL! no joke! ;) hehe. well i did anyway. as usual. i had something to say but i got distracted by these pics of such beautiful rooms! i want one. haha. or at least to dedecorate my room, and make it MY ROOM, not shared by my mean sister --'

omg! haha. those rooms were awsome. home-designing.com?

some of them looked so cool! :)

vianca girl here.

heyy blogspotters. vianca girl here. SPOTTED. Confused J, hanging out with the big boys.. hmmm make your mind up Confused J, arent you one of them too? hahhahahahahahaha.
LOOOLL i loverr niniishkaa. <3
till next time upper east westmead-ers.
xoxo vianca girl ;)

ONE TREE HILL!

"...the important thing is, not to be bitter about life's dissapointments, learn to let Go of the past." -Whitey

"..and recognise that everyday wont be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness of dispare, remember it is only in the black of night that you can see that stars, and no star will lead you back home. So dont be afraid to to make mistakes, to stumble, fall because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for, maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you, the road is long and in the end the journey is the destination. " Whitey :D

I swear i learn so much from OTH! and im glad. because what it teaches you, really helps you understand life better..in some ways ;)

words of wisdom from. Fr Ron. my priest :)

lol. wait. atm, well before i was talking to a few people. and then one by one. they went to eat --' haha funny how when ones there, theyr there and then wen one goes they all go, even though they dnt even no :L funny. mann atm i feel so HAPPY!? haha. i guess i have reason to be, but also mann im cracking myself up. maybe i should eat not too. im kinda hungry.
okay. lol i no im in the middle of blogging, but i should eat. haha. i dno what im blogging this but i love to share, what can i say? :L

okay. haha. sorry for that. im all calmed down now. ;)
im gna quote something from the parish bulleton that my priest said

"The reality is, we have the gift of today and we are not sure about any other future. Appriciate today and make the most of the opportunities, especially the God-given invitations that will come your way."

and so there you have it. it really would explain the meaning of this quote, of how i interprate it but im sure we all find our own way to relate our lives to this, or even see if we can make that difference? ;) haha. im not really bothered atm to explain so i hope you think a bit about it and yeaa, it helps you in some way ;) oh and im sorry for my laziness.

night everyone! :D

and the results are...positive..

LIFE SUCKS, yepp.

that kinda sums it all up, i had an awsome day, i really did. cannot complain about a thing, well i could. so i AM!
come home, and already my mums making frkn stupid rules, getting pissed at idno what or even why. faaaahrr out! she says now i have to give her my phone every night :O coz im on it too much? faaahhhh! i swear, one personal item i have, my phone and she wants to take that away too! why? can i please ask why?

ahh, ruin everything, all the time!

and so i guess it was fun while it lasted..

lol, i found out today, that i can talk for ages, without even knowing how long? lol ness, about OTH, the best show EVERR! haaha. it really, truely is. teaches you so much, and as vanessa found out today, i can go on and on about that story. so much to tell, so much going on..

omgomgomg. and so i have to go study, hopefully. im also really tired, and need to take a proper shower, but all in all, today. was. awsome. aquatic centre with my friends :) hehe, it really was so much fun :)
yaay, i like moments lyk that, make you feel so good, lyk were on holidays.. oh how i wish..

so long blogspot. i shall see u some other day. hopefully to share something more bright? happy? better than the usual..?

it seems that disapointment surrounds me? :(

and so, once again i get my hopes up. and one thing goes wrong, and BAMM! im crushed, im disapointed and confused, always wondering why am i always the one whos bubble is poped? :( why me? again, really. what do i do to deserve this kind of treatment..? :(
it hurts, being disapointed..
i disapoint myself sometimes, not happy about that..
the people i love dearly at times disapoint me.. i guess its not inteninally right?
and then my parents, seem to disapoint me too.

lyk my plans for friday the 13th.. all gone now, i got not only my hopes up but also my friends. and im so sorry for that! ahh, i was so excited. thats why before i learnt that i wouldnt let myself get excited so easily, coz it only hurts more knowing and receiving that disapointment..

oh well, what can i say. it all happens for a reason, a reason that really confuses me? :(

going to bed disapointed at myself and my mum..

whats wrong?!

omg, theres something wrong with me.
haha, well its not a good thing, i was writing notes right, for science. hoping to also get started on math and commerce but no, i fall asleep on my science textbook and then i think lyk an hour later wake up --' then my mums lyk if ur tired go to sleep, so after jst sitting up in front of my books, wanting to continue writting notes, i decide this isnt working so then decide to go sleep on my bed, im on my bed. try to sleep, even listen to music, all i do is yawn and rub my eyes and then close them, CANT SLEEP on my frnk bed and im too tired to study. EVEN THOU I WNA! i wna get as much done asap so all i have to do is revise them but --'
omg, there, yawning already yet i can sleep on the floor, lyking on my books but not on my pillow on my bed? wthh! something wrong with that, ive written less than a pg of science, attempting to do math now, a bit easier.
even my mum asked, why am i so tired? idno, really i dnt. im jst always rubbing my eyes, making them worse and yawning, feeling tired all day! faa, whered my energy go? :( i need to sleep, but i cant. my head is clouded with all the stuff i need to get done, studying! ahh, my goosh. *YAWN* so tired. please someone help me get to sleep. i think its the weather :/

ttly bloggers. haha. i need to get some work done and then SLEEP!

and so, in a way.. i think i got my answer? ;D

okay, now. that night. after i posted that, miserable and annyoing post, my awsome frivefnfg hhwefewfwf jjjjssa kkakhwf sjhfishfyisi


ajsfdoijf

aoisdhuo
lalsodlsa

and all that was sarah jst then, with the random letters :L im in re atm but im not bothered doing my work, so blogblogblog.! hehe, im so sad :L hehe.

...my awsome friend vanessa fb mailed me, and although she made my tears pour out more, still she helped me so much. i guess everyone needs a reminder sometimes ye? for anything they do

hello blogers
=] from sarah

.. lol, sorry. sarah jst randomly types so ye, its not exactly straight forward. :L

haha, as i was saying, we all need a reminder, if it maybe to find ourselves again, jst to know that you are loved, cared about, even to remind you of something so obvious, not even you could admit to that? lol, if u get me? :) anyways, ye. so for absolutely everything you have done for me, i say THANKYOU, i know that one word may not say a lot, but it means a lot. to me, because, ye. hehe, thanks for being you, and for being the BEST! i was fully gna scan the letter you gave me, but since im in class, and ye i wont. haha, but thats one awsome letter. and yes nessaaa, how can we ever forget those random and special moments, that have helped us so much, lyk YOU GLOW, I GLOW. we will always use it, as it is so effective. hehe, my memory may be bad at times, but the things you do, the great friend you are, i can never forget..! love you ness. and thanks, for that night and your letter :)

lol thanks to sarah, i forgot what else i was gna say, so ye. lol until next time :)

no matter how hard i try..

no matter how hard i try to hold it in, jst before im about to leak, when my eyes are tearing up and i jst bite my lip, hoping nothing comes out, trying not to blink so the tears jst disappear, oh how i try to make it look as though i dnt care, when really i do. i care so much it hurts, it hurts knowing that i may loose.. well ye, i dnt even wna say it.. :'( oh how tears, weather your holding it in or letting it out, they always seem to get in the way.. of the truth? no, not the truth, of the reality of life.. and well, of everything?

how i wish i could escape, its not always like this. just most of the time. maybe. okay okay, it could be a lot better, but then again i dnt have it all that bad.. i get blamed for everything, if its my dads fault, my mums fault. even if i was helping a friend, faa, it hurts knowing that whenever i try do something good, its never returned, not that i expect it to be. but why should i get in trouble for anything when it wasnt my fault? huuh? why me, i help and instead get introuble for helping. for being a friend.
its clear to say that my parents. my mum controls me. wait no. not jst me. my life too. :( she makes the big decisions for me, thats why im so not independent, and im so used to that now that i cant make the most simplest of decisions, to eat this or that, to wear shorts or pants.. i feel so restricted from life. i once thought i had some, whatever little control of my life it was, i thought i had some control. with my phone and my friends. luckily my mum had no control over my friends, who would be my friends, who i would hang out with. i feel, in a way so free at school. even though school has so many rules of its own, my mum cant stop me from doing anything there.
most of the time, i jst think about my parents, making them proud. showing how greatful i am to them, try to do my best at school, hardly ever ask for anything.. but no, sorry. its never good enough is it? not once, anytime i achieve in something, my mums always lyk, you could have done better, yes you did this this time, but next time do better. faaaaa, mann sometimes i feel lyk bursting out, swearing. but only in my head. coz even though im a respectful daughter, to my mum im not. nothing i do is ever good enough, no matter how much i achieve, its never good enough. jst once i dnt wna hear, "oh wow, well done. but could you have done better.. " faaack, idno, next time why dnt u sit in class for me, listen to the teachers talking about stuff, i always try to listen, work hard and attempt everything, whats the use if no matter how well i do, its never good enough for you? huuh? why. i try. i strive, FOR MY GOALS, not for yours.

I JST WNA ESCAPE.. anywhere, even if its for an hour or two, anything. i jst want to know how it would be if my parents werent so harsh, or strict. or demanding.. :'(


and another thing. i have a mouth dont i, yet no matter where i am. half the time its as if im speaking but nothings coming out. growing up at home, always. whenever i was talking, someone would butt in, cut me out. ahh, i really dnt mind sometime, but when it happens over and over again, lyk really. cant you see im explaining something? especially before, when i used to talk to my mum about anything, my dad or sister would cutt in, i would forget what i said or i continue after that person is done, seee im always the one kept waiting.. and i really dnt mind, but how many times does it happen to me. then if by accident i but in when my mums talking, i frkn get in trouble. i swear i was born into this family to take the blam for everything and to jst be used and get introuble, :'( i always think, theres something out there, for me. jst for me. something God has for me, that no one can take away, when will that come, when will i stop questioning myself for things that soemone my age maybe shouldnt be thinking.. sometimes i feel that i dnt matter, that no one cares what would happen.. i no its wrong to think, but i kinda have reason to dnt i? coz of whatever happens in my life, the bad anyways.. :(

ahh, im so tired, havent done my homework. oh well, tomorrow morning.. i have so much to let out, but i'll go now. sorry for such a long post. and if you were really bothered enough to read all that, you must really care. and thankyou for that, <3

and so, somewhere over that rainbow, someday. i will find what ive been searching for, the answer that completes me so much.. yet how long will that take, and i will keep searching, if thats what God wants, i deserve it dont i? but if its right in front of me, that Lord, please help me see, because its something i need. i want the answer to my problem..

night guys <3

:S

lol, i no i still havent blogged about the homily on the weekend, i really hope to, soon. sorry, jst felt lyk blogging about something else..

well im pretty stupid, on fb before, i used to kinda explode in a way with what i put as my stats, not even thinking who would see it, a lot of my family and family friends have me on fb, --' ooh and i felt so... idno, when i realised. especially when its something really negetive? :/ so i need to think before i type and control my anger, at times when i need to. lol.

omg, i so wish i was going to wilcania atm, to get away from my parents but also, the experience of something so different, and helping out a community so far away from help. thats so amazing to think that a few teachers and students from our school are going to help out the indigenous community? but ye, i wna do that next time, really. if only i out my note in, im so irreponsible. but ye, lol. feeling a tad down atm.. and then jst thinking about the long journey, ahh, makes me wna be there even more! i always, always regret not doing something, or even doing something. sometimes i jst wished i was satisfied with the decisions i make. :/

anyways, forgot what i was gna say.. so i guess i'll jst leave it there?
ohh boy.. :(

responsibility and family :)

alright now, im kinda in the mood to write this as well, my mind is only clouded with one thing, although i wont blog about it coz ye, i dnt want to?

anyways, on friday my friend angelica came over and then only left at lyk 10pm so we had a lot of time to kill and do stuff. we were jst on my bed, in the dark talking. haha, it was so peaceful, even though i didnt really like the dark my curtain was open so the street lights on the other side of my house let some light come into my room. hehe, it was so nice jst to be with angel as we dont really spend that much time together anymore. but eye, it was a great afternoon :)

so we had a few conversations but one that i wanted to blog about was how the group of friends i have, well the group im in, were so much more like a family. we all look out for eachother, set good examples, show our love and concern for eachother and ye, similar to a family. hehe, and we all get along so well together! :D
but lyk ye, angel and i were lyk, were more the babies of the group, lyk idno how but in some way we are, angel is the baby and i come after as the second youngest? haha, we fully planned out our family :L
then the mothers would be, gabby, vianca and vanessa. all of them are a are a big influence, and in their own way are so motherly? haha, lyk once when we went to vianca's house, gabby made us lunch. haha, she fully cooked omlet for us, it was realy nice. haha, and whenever we do come together outside of school and maybe even on school we look after eachother so well, lyk making sure everyone is fine, and safe. and its a really nice to have that feeling of security when your with you friends. but then again my friends are just that awsome ;D hehe, well, vianca is another mother, in a way to us. haha, she makes sure everyone is happy, and always has those 'talks' hehe, to make us feel better and happy. she can always make you laugh :L she also procects us? lol, you can always feel safe when vianca is around? :)
then vanessa, shes jst so loving? haha, but yes. she is also our mother, we look up to her..
even though they are lyk the mothers in the group, doesnt mean they always have to be showing us the right thing to do, well we all kinda set a good exapmle for eachother :) but ye, we are all here for one another, haha whether we are just the babies, the mothers or older sisters? :L

i dnt really now how we are, be angel and i feel that we are a lot similar to a family. hehe, everyone else is like a bit sister, giving advice, jst being there :) hehe, i really do love all my friends. always set a good exapmle for me :) im not sure what else i can say, lol angel if u have anything to add, anything i missed. you blog about it on urs ye? ;)

and so, still thinking about that thing, :( i so wish i didnt have to think of it, really..
oh well, i guess im jst gna have to talk about it later?

anyway, bye for now
have a nice day. <3

sorry.

sorry people. im kinda not bothered doing those other two posts atm.
but i will.

one will be about the homily. and the other about how my friends and lyk family, haha a convo my friend angelica and i had :)

Vianca: just for you :)

hello my dearest vianca,

you wanted me to have a post for you, and since your going on wednesday? to willcanya?
(lol, sorry for my spelling, i think its wrong?) i thought i would write this to say, see you later and have a safe trip.. so here i go. :)

and so, i just wanted to have a reflection, of how much you have done for me, (sounds gay but oh well :L)
mann vianca. i swear you are such a good friend, always looking out for everyone, helping out.

the advice you've given me, has helped, always have. and even jst you around, haha ur funny personality always makes the atmosphere ur in happy and laughing, coz thats jst who you are ;) you have been nice, in your own vianca way, ever since year 7? haha, in my classes i didnt really get to know you until yr 8. how fortunate was i! :D haha,
THANK YOU VIANCA, for everything. :) really. im so fortunate to know and have a friend like you. hehe.

anyways, dnt wna bore you, and you know the stories? :L haha, have a safe trip and time at wilcanya, im sure all the kids there will have fun with you and everyone else from our grade whos going, WE WILL MISS YOU! im sure you'll have a great time. haha.

i really could go on all day about how much you've done for me, and what an amazing friend you are, but then you already know that ;) hehe. i love you vianca <3 hehe



a friend of mine, Stephen Reid kinda writes songs, and he wrote this one, thought it was appropriate :)
Alright strange mood tonight, did this.

They are, just always there.
You are, never alone.
They are, the best things.
And nothing, can take them AWAY.

You are, the best thing.
To ever, happen to me.
I can't, believe you're here.
Or that, you waste your time.

They are, always there.
To love, and take care of you.
They for, give when you do wrong.
And they'll do anything for you.

I am, so lucky.
That you, wait for me.
You are, so crazy.
To sit around here with me.

Take care, of them forever.
They may, just disappear.
You might, drift apart.
But I know, that will never happen.

I am, so lucky.
I am ,so happy.
When you are.
When you're around.

Love always, Ninoshka xo

hey

i have a few posts in store today, dno if i'll get them all done thou, i wna get two of them done, and yesterday after mass i thought i would blog about the homily when i got home yesterday, but since i only got home around 12am i couldnt, and i kinda lost the mood, but if i do feel lyk it again, i will blog.

and so now to one of the posts.

the "what ifs" and "if only"...

theses two questions are so commonly asked and thought about..

"what if... blahblah, "
say you lyk someone, haha not me but someone else and lyk you have so many opportunities and stuff to actually talk to him, have a conversation and maybe even he can get to know you more, haha maybe even as much as you secretly know them? :L

you would always be thinking, hmm. what if that one time i actually went up to him..?
haha, or what if i did this or that? :L

funny times, hehe. oh well, you can always think and wonder what if.. but if u actually have that chance to do something, TAKE IT! haha, God gave you that chance to do something, you never know until you actually make that what if.. into a i can, or i will. haha, coz you CAN and you WILL regret it if you dont forfill that what if.. of that chance. haha.

and then that.. if only..
lol, if only that was me instead of her..?

damm, i had that chance but did i take it? no i didnt, and there you have it.. regret. haha
this is a funny topic for me to talk about coz atm i dnt like anyone, no crushes or anything. but then again ive got other stuff to do and think about? :/
ahh, well. haha its good to sometimes forget about those things, take a break/ a breather and HAVE FUNN MANN. haha.

i shall ttyl and finish this at home coz the bells about to go.. :)
maryanne says HI! :)

have a lovely day <3

:D

HELLO THERE BLOGSPOT WORLD :)

hehe, im so happy! why, coz i have amazing friends. i have so much to look back on, with all of them. mainly three. haha angel, vianca and ness :)

i remember last yr they always came over, or was that at the beginning of this yr? maybe it was both? haha, anyways ye, i have so many fond memories, boyy am i lucky :D
hehe, its so coool. and even good, jumpy, happy songs are on atm :) make me even happier.

but ye, haha today my day started off alright, and then i went with vianca to get her class roll, omg. haha she did something, made us both laugh hard out, haha i started to cry :L and then even again in science. mann do i love vianca.

haha, and then angelica :) naww, so many memories too, i remember when i kinda first really became tight with her, real good friends last yr when she, vianca and i were in the same class. naww i miss our class last yr, it was the best :) <3
haha, and we made so many promises to eachother one day on the train, i shall never forget our talk on the train that day, haha it was the day i also went to prayer watch with ness? :) haha. and hopefully next yr we will join st pats soccer team :) haha, the mixed team :L
gotta love angel.

and vanessaa. haha, even more memories. all those times last yr, wen we did sport together, and angel was almost alway away. haha, had so much fun. i miss doing sport with you two. haha so many laughs :L we all jst love to laugh. and then those afternoons where ud jst come over, wed jst talk and sometimes remenice? :) haha. and vanessa i love you too. haha, crack me up :L you all do. haha.

naww, see. i remember all these things and more, it seems as though i have known you guys forever, seriously. all of you. haha, and then i think back, but it was actually jst a few years ago, boyy am i glad to have met you all. life without you guys would not be life at all. haha, i would be so deprived of having such awsome friends, knowing such beautifully wonderful people such as youselves, well that really is a joy. haha, all those funny things we do, jokes we make. lmao we laugh at everything. you make me who i am.. or at least help. haha you all influence me so much and i look up to you for that <3

and i know for sure that this frienship will be one, FOREVER! :D

love you always <3

its just not fair.. :(

i kinda dnt know why im blogging, dno what to blog about but i feel lyk it.

omg, why is life so unfair? lyk almost everytime i do something, it comes back at me, the wrong way, as if i did something wrong? and that upsets me...its jst not fair..

and as hard as i try sometimes, its jst not fair..

i get blamed for almost anything and everything.. i guess its easy to blame it all on me? but its not fair..

whatever is going on atm.. its not fair..

why is it not fair? idno, but i want it to change, for things to get better, and not worse, im sure everyone jst needs a break from all this, its jst too much and its jst NOT FAIR..

i hate seeing my friend, one of my best friends lyk this.. :'(
i dnt know what to say anymore.. i jst wish and pray that it all gets better.

once again, i could go on all day about how unfair life is at times.. but thats not necessary.

cant wait till tomorrow, havent talked or seen half my friends in ages, and these holidays have felt way longer than two weeks. haha i actually did a lot and there wasnt that much homework, not that i even did anything.. :/ haha, i miss them so much! <3

does ist have to be?

omg, i wish there was less of these posts, lyk what im bot to post about anyway..

alright, topic: my sister --'
why does she have to be so impossible? lyk i hate fighting with her, i do. lyk before i was on the phone with my friend gabby and she heard deandra shouting at me and complaining as usual and omg, gabby was lyk wow, not even my sister and i fight lyk that... and deandra always, and i mean always blames it on me. hence why my mum calls my the bully, my sister can change my mood so quick its not funny, lyk really. and she will fight about anything and everything, its not even fun. i hate it! :(

and i dnt want to anymore, so i give up, i give in, i let her get away with all the crap she says about and to me, faa mann she even says stuff about my friends >< and that hurts coz they are always so nice to her, not that she deserves that! ahh, she says im adopted, i say ok. she calls me shart, i say ok...omg, im living as though i have no mouth of my own, no say in anything anymore, and all because i want to give my mum and dad a break from hearing us fight all the time, unlike my sister i dnt scream and shout and cry wen she does something to me, so it seems as though she does nothing, instead she hurts me so much inside, and im working on it, working on not letting the stuff she says get to me, its not at all easy.

i take the blame for things i dnt do, things i do do. haha DO DO! :L

anyways, i listen to my friends as always, and i wont stoop down to her level, jst let it go.. let her have her way...

ttly <3

jst another one: something we should all live by :)

jst had to share :) jst love photobucket.

wooosh..

mann, i cannot believe that wen we got back to school it will be term 4, of 2009!
OMG this year has seriously gone so fast, funny thing is that i remember so much that happened this yr.. and a lot has happened. its pretty cool how much you can do in a day, or even in a year.
haha, on thursday wen a few of my friends came over, we did so much, we were tired but we had so much time to spare, it was so weird, and the more time we had, the more things we thought of doing :L it was awsome, jst lyk this yr. although this year has had its ups and downs.. then again, what yr doesnt..

still, i cant believe it, haha. and these holidays have been awsome so far, lyk really. this year too, a lot of changes..good and bad. but really, this year has been on hecktic year, lyk really. when i mean so much happened, i mean it. haha a lot has happened in general, lyk around the would, local, national... blah blah. haha

i lost my train of thoughts coz i looked outside and i saw the clouds are clearing :) and and, the sky is BLUE AGAIN! hehe, so happy to see this sunny weather :)

well, i forgott what i was mean to say so, i'll jst leave it there :) hehe, ttly. and enjoy your life to the max ;)

hey there :)

lol, omg i have to share my awsome holidays so far, it will take a while and im not bothered to say it all but i shall start. haha.

it started on wednesday night, i went to watch fame, in gold class with my family. it was pretty good :)

then on thursday my friends, vianca, abby and angelica came over. mann did we have a crazy time. did so much, to long to go into detail and im tired so ima cut it down. haha, skip the details. thursday night i was at ness', i slept over. haha pretty fun :)

friday went to the city, for the first time without an adult :) yayy mee, haha. i went with matt and ness :) it was fun, even though it rained..
haha, we watched UP in 3D, that was pretty cool, i really lyked it. haha, then wen we got home to ness' place vianca was there and matt, vianca, ness and i walked to star bucks and got something then walked home, matt went home and angelica was at ness' wen we got there. then agbby came later. i forgot what we did next, lol jst watched movies, fought over where we were all gna sleep. haha, we ate and we laied under the stars, taking pics. haha freezing our asses off :L and then went inside, took more pics. had so much fun.

saturday, wanted to sleep more but vianca kept hitting and jumping on me. haha, i moved from the floor onto ness' bed, angel and vianca got up early.. well earlier than ness and i. haha, they went for star bucks while ness and i slept, they also played a bit of basketball. haha, could hear them from the room. we ate breakfast, packed up. lazed around and then went home, ness droped me home and after she left i walked into my house, and OMG found my god mother from America standing in my tv room! :O i was so surprised. haha, then that night after mass, we went to my cousin's place for dinner, haha spent my time there playing with my cousins and talking on msn. haha i made a new friend ;)
and ye, haha that was my awsome week one of holidays :D

sunday, today we have guest over from new castle, i really wna watch one tree hill but vianca has it, and im not sure when im gna see her next, hopefully before the end of the holidays :) and ye, helped out around the house since my dad and siste arent here.
deandra's at a twilight convention.. :L and my dad, he's on florida.. on business. haha i wna go, yay i might be going america in june next yr, its my god mother's 50th and shes my mums eldest sister, so its a big thing. haha i hope, and if we have enuf or it will jst be my mum, but i really wna go! haha.

next week of holidays, will be a bit different. my mums at home, we will all be getting ready for my grandmother's 80th bday party on friday, gna be real busy. i still plan on sleeping in, watching late movies, the usual but also tryna get my holiday hw done, i dnt even have that much to do but ye :)

and then saturday, the 17th is my friend Gabby's 15th bday! i dnt even think i can go to her bday outing thingo during the week :( but then on sunday im gna see her, and ness as well. were doing walk for diabetes ;) its gna be fun, haha it better not rain --'

anyways, id better go.
maybe i'll blog a little later?
haha, have a lovely day ;)

best friend - off ness :)

1. choose five best friends
2. write their name;
3. age; & birthday
4. when yous met;
5. you hate it when they ..
6. you secretly admire ..
7. perfect match for them ..
9. do you plan on keeping in touch with them for the next 10 years ?
10. first impression ..

1. Vianca Cruz
14 turning 15 on 19th January.
we met on orientation day in 2006 :)
i hate it when vianca picks on me :L
sercetly admire her lovely voice ;) haha, when she sings? oh yeaa, haha and her fun to play with knees :)
oh and ur awsome advise :)
perfect match... umm, haha the one and only, lol vianca. keep getting reminded of him ;) raffy boi :L
nope, not just for the next 10 years, FOREVER and ever. friends for life ;) haha.
first impression, i dnt really remember. haha wow this girl is so nice :D i think majelle is her best friend? lol

2. Vanessa Flores
14 turning 15 on 24th Feburary.
also met on orienation day in 2006!
i hate it when you, joke around- ( lyk a lot, not in general :) ), and coz im so smart i take it seriously? :L oh ye, and slaps my legs :L
secretly admire, lol i really dnt know. i admire a lot about vanessa, her personality and responsibilitly most ;)
haha, look after everyone so well :) thanks
perfect match, hmmm. thats hard, im not sure... joseph? haha.
you too are a friend FOR KEEPS, FOREVER AND EVER! promise ;)
i dnt really remember my first impression of you, haha. i was kinda scared of you? :L

3. Angelica Dulawan
14 turning 15 on 20th march.
kinda met sometime in 2007 but really met met you last year :)
hate it when angel pinches me really hard :L haha, kinda hurts..
i admire your tan? haha, i love ur tan, and ur sense of fashion? haha.
perfect match, lol. u have another guy for every day, but im guessing brandon ;) if he's not the guy for you, you will surely find someone more special just for you ;)
definately a friend forever, i will be there for you in the next 10 years and after that too ;)
first impression, again kinda dnt remember, haha. wow, shes so pretty, kinda mean thou :L haha, dw, only the first impression :L

4. Marilyn Bellett
11 turning 12 on 25th April
were cousins, dnt no wen we met? haha family :)
hate it when she hits my stomach when she talks to me :L
secretly admire her sense of humour and talent for music ;)
lol, i dnt really know who the perfect match is for you...? haha.
next 10 years, of course, ur lyk my little sister, haha ima be here for you when ever u need me :)
first impression of my cousin, i really really dno. haha, aww shes so cute?

i dnt really know but i still consider my primary best friend even though we havent seen eachother:
5. Paulina De los Reyes
14 turning 15 on 18th Feburary
met in 2003, we were in the same class?
lol, i seriously dno what i hate about you :L its been so long, kinda hate it how we havent really kept in touch that much? :/
haha, again, i dnt really know what i admire about you, its been really long..
perfect match, i wish i knew. haha, dnt talk to much.. :/
10 years, i sure hope so. :)
first impression, think it was, haha shes so smart and nice, is she a triplet? :L

ALL YOU PEOPLE MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND MORE.. :)
HAHA, YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, INSIDE AND OUT!
love you <3
and i will be here for you all, always and forever? ;)

changes..

its amazing how something can be so scared yet beautiful at the same time?

well, there was a thunder/hail storm, luckily i got home intime before it started, anyways it was pouring down so hard, lyk really hard. kinda got worried that someone might get hurt :/ but i dnt think anyone did? hope not anyway.

well i got a few pics, of the hail storm, before and even after. haha, have u ever wondered how rain falls? i know it sounds weird, but one night when i was outside in the rain, not by choice --' haha i jst stood there, looking up and it was so peaceful, jst looking up at the drops of water falling down, from the sky down to earth, jst wondering, wow mann that looks so pretty, jst looking at it falling down, how can it possibly make sense but it calms you down, ahaha also makes u sick standing in the rain.

lol atm, i feel so lonley, and i jst got off the phone with vianca... ahh im so lonely, haha no one to talk to, and im so mega bored.. and its only the second, well kinda first day of the holidays. i wna get outa my house, go on an adventure maybe? hopefully..? idno, anywhere but here right now. haha.

having no one talk to me atm, makes me kinda feel as though ive done something wrong? :(

it also makes me miss, well so much.. i jst wish things were better, for everyone. or maybe im jst asking for too much, mann do i need to get out these holidays :L haha.

sorry for all the long/ short posts today, lyk i sed im jst REALLY BORED..

communication..

why does it seem its way way easier to say exactly what u want wen its cyber space or even through a txt msg..?
but when it comes to real life communication, lyk talking in person or on the phone?
idno, it seems way easier and now everything is done via the internet... it is a much easier, much faster way to communicate but is it always the best?
i miss thoes days where, it was always calling someone up, or walking down the street to say hello...jst to catch up, i miss those days...all of them. i wish, oh how i wish that i could relive some of them... :(
i miss some of my friends... how we used to call eachother almost everyday, even though we just saw eachother at school.. it all seems so long ago, and now it seems its almost impossible to talk.. my best friend from primary, lives two houses away from me.. yet i havet talked/seen her in ages.. but we still communicate through fb and msn..
i dnt want it to be hard for me to communicate with my current friends, because its jst way too much fun talking to them in person, nothing can replace that? :D

haha, im even gna start writing letters to my friend abby, so we get that old way of communication back instead of email? haha, sounds exciting? :)

but yes, i feel kinda distant from one of my close friends, i really dnt want to, but i dnt no what to do.. :(

boo :)

hey everyone,
lol i thought i might jst post something more bright on my blog coz, well lately it hasnt been that good?
anyways, atm im lyk youtubing people, and omg, haha just changes my mood completely, i jst love it how people that are musically talented chose to share that with everyone :) hehe, its awsome too, hearing them, whether its singing, playing an instraument, composing their own songs... jst so lovely to hear all this isnt it? :)
so, its kinda lyk day one of the holidays, yesterday didnt really count since it was a long weekend. im not too sure what im gna do these holidays, i no this friday im going to my friend, vanessa's pl for a sleepover :) looking forward to that, and sometimes next wk my friends are coming over, for a pincic by our favourite spot, the lake.. hope the weather is good, and i also think nxt week were going to the aquatic centre? mann i really wna go swimming :)
umm, other than that, im gna have fun at home... yay, haha computer, tv and sleep. oh and food too? haha, oh and im starting to go jogging with my friend gabby now, its great how she lives so close to me now :) got some hw to get done too..but thats for later, haha.

haha, wow, i really lyk katbadar, shes such a good singer, lyk her vocals are lyk wow. and her personality too, u can see, so bubbly and happy.. hhaa, and then wen she sings jst ye.. :)

aww, right now, i feel so helpless. and i wish i could do soemthing about that, its the holidays i know, but a lot is going on..
ahh, well..

so i guess i will ttly ;)
once again have a lovely day

FAH.Q!

OMFGG, i swear stupid swine flu, if it wasnt for that my idiotic sister would be in japan right now, but no, instead she is going to make me go crazzy! omg i swear i dnt think i can take a whole two weeks of this --'. no joke i was jst about to lose it and go off swearing at her! ahhh :@ pisses me off so frkn much.... >:l
NOT FUNNY, sometimes its alright, big woop, omg shes in yr10 and now all of a sudden she gets the rights to do whatever she wants, i dnt think ima come outa this alive, or sane >< haha, sounds gay but shes so annyoying --' ahhh.....

selfishness --'

ahh faa, mann im so selfish. my mum was having so much fun at this get together that we were at a few mins ago, with all her train friends. having so much fun, laughing, talking and ye. and then i had to ruin it for my mum and make us all go home so i could do my science. faa, how selfish am i, my mum does so much for me, for my family. its not often that she does anything for herself, and today she was having fun, she was laughing and not bothered about anything. i ruined it.
i feel so selfish.
ahh i jst wna let it all out, before i start my science, i need to let it all out. i need to 'vent'.
i want a hug and a friend right now, but i think everyone is busy, or destrcated or somthing, ahh i feel so selfish. and i dnt want too, i really dont. i dnt lyk feeling lyk this, how i am right now.

lately ive been crying so often, lyk i dnt normally but lately i have. and i dnt lyk being sad all the time, i try to smile but it looks so fake, or i can feel that im putting it on. ahh im so tried, stressed, selfish, tried, kinda in pain and im freezing. which is not that common for me! ><
ahh i dno what to do, im tried of it all. i jst wna escape, take a break. i want it all to be how it was before. well who doesnt, its always lyk that --'
ahh i feel so angry and...
ahh im jst so sorry, for being so selfish and ye. for everything. im JUST SO SORRY ><
i try, i want my parents to be proud but lately idno, i feel as though ive not only let them down but myself as well. and i dnt wna feel lyk that. im such a bad daughter :(
all the emotions that i have right at this second is not at all how i wna be feeling. i want some sort of happiness or joy right now, but nothing. its lyk im stucj in the darkness, jst wating for someone to find, or show me the light to get out. i dnt wna be stuck anymore ><

u no how sometimes u jst wished for something,but it wasnt anything that good? well, i wish i wasnt alive right now, all i do is cause problems, i try to help but feel as though ive done something wrong, or make things even worse. i dnt wna do that. i jst wna help. and im gna start crying any second now :/ i dnt wna feel or be this way, i dnt wna be a let down.
am i doing anything right? all i do is pray that i know if im doing something right, because im so lost, and its just not funny! it isnt. i feel abandoned, lonely, faa why am i so selfish?
why cant i jst be useful lyk everyone else, i feel as though i cant do anything right. uhh, i feel terrible. i need help, i need to find something that ive been looking for, for a while now. only i dnt know what that is, its missing and making me fall apart almost. i feel unwanted and lyk im not needed, lyk im just there for the sake of being there, i dno what im meant to do, what im meant for. all i think about is the problems and trouble i cause, most of the time not intending on it.
jst cant wait for the holidays, ive got to sort out my priorities.

i feel so selfish, because i only ever think about myself? :'( or so my sister keeps telling me. ahh, my patience is funning short, i dno what to do, about anything. i just dno, i want everything to be normal again, i want to feel normal again. how long can i wait? :/

oh mann, i need to calm down, i need to breath and i will, after tomorrow? :) hopefully. so now im gna do my science, as much as i can, as tired as i am.
have a lovely night.

quick,

haha, alright its lyk 9.50pm atm and mann am i tired, had a pretty emotional day, haha decided i didnt lyk anyone after all and ye. so tried, now im just worried about my science. im gna start it now, i was jst watching step up and the footy, eels vs bulldogs. haha last i checked eels were winning by 6. hah :)
and so, ive got a lot to get done, gna try finish at least one part, im going dress hunting tomorrow for my grandmothers 80th and my friend's baby sister's christening. and then sunday im going to idol --' haha i no, im so not greatful, its just that this idol season i havent actually watched that much so im not so supportive of anyone but anyways im going, haha. oh boy, gna have a busy weekend, gna cramp in as much as i can. making sure my first and most important priority is finishing my science. woo one more week of school to endure and then holidays. oh yeaa! haha :)
cant wait. anyways, hope you all have a lovely night. id better get working
<3

saying goodbye..

naww, well today was the yr12 muckup assembly thingo and omg, tomorrow they graduate and lyk they had pics of all of them with their friends since yr7 and the journey they made together through high school... aww, it was so, lyk idno. made me realise more that next year we r in yr 10 and in yr 11 most of us are leaving. and well, atm i wouldnt mind moving either, only where? and i dno if im bothered looking for another school that wouls cater more to the subjects and stuff i need? lol, i dno. IM JUST GNA MISS THEM SOO MUCH!! i really dno what im gna do without them :( its hurts jst knowing that they are going, lyk angel. i dnt want her to gooo! i dnt want any of them to go, im scared. i dnt want it to be lyk last time.. but i know it wont be, im still just scared. ive gotten to know them so much, and much closer to them.. :( aww, i dnt want it to happen, in lyk one year and a bit we will all be in yr11. awww.
but lyk, i dnt even no that many other schools.. how would i know where to go, what to do? am i brave enough to start all over again? to start that horrific experience of starting yr 11 all alone? i dno. i need to think more about it i guess? or am i fine just where i am? well, i dnt really lyk mcauley that much, i ddnt ever since i started, my friends just made it more barable for me and if they go.. i no, not all of em are going but im still gna miss them, just not seeing them around. the causal talks we have, warm hugs and conversations..
lol. im so corny, and lol yes ness i know. haha. lol before when we were standing at viancas locker, and i was telling you something that you couldnt hear. i was saying IF YOU LEAVE IM GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCHH! :(
aww. lol and no im not crying, but if you go, and i no you will want to, i will cry so much. if anyone goes. naww :'( i hate thinking that, but i no we all need to go to those schools for a reason...

i jst dnt want you to leave, to abandon me. not again..

but i no this time it will be different, because you guys arent lyk that, you guys are FOREVER! :)
loveyou all <3
i cant say goodbye, just see you later :)
haha.
( ps. sorry for my blogs always being so long. haha :/ )

OMG! ahhh. :(

im losing it. i really am. im so tired of it. of it all. lyk really. people, me family know how im sensetive to that particular thing and as soon as she brings it up, it gets me teary. it always does! and no matter how hard i try keeping it in before she says anything else a few tears roll down the side of my cheeks and i jst try hold the rest in, pretending as though its alright. when its clearly not. it never is! no matter how hard i try, to do my best in school, to try hard to be a good daughter. its just never enough! and its always me, its always me! im so tried of it all, ahhh. i cant take it, it hurts sometimes more that others coz then i just think, its alright. its just that i dnt belong, but thats not true, because the one i need the most. shes not here, she has to be with her family, looking after them and mann r they lucky to have her. i miss her so much, my aunty, my mum in a way. really, people sed it, ninoshke your so lucky, you have two mums. my aunty jane, looked after me ever since i was born. havent seen her in a while, spoke to her over the phone a while back, just hearing her speak made me cry, but i miss her so much but her family needs her more than me! long story about that, but they sure are lucky to have a step mum lyk my aunty! :'( aww, how i wish she was her, so i could talk to her, she always stuck up for me. everytime. and now, i may be the favourite at times but im always the one, fighting on my own, with everyone. not because i want to, never because i want to, it just happens. ye we have our moments but its always lyk this, and well. i need someone on my side, at least when i didnt do anything wrong. i try and try.... :( sometimes i give up, and give in to my parents, let them have it they're way. make them happy, but if me being miserable makes them happy, then there's clearly something wrong there. for eg. me doing commerce, was my mums idea, and i tried it for her. i dnt mind it, somethings ive learnt have been very useful but i hate it so much, lyk im not that interested in class which is hard with commerce, everything we learn is vital in some way --' and now im stressing over an assignment! ahh, really. why do i bother? :/


and then something with my aunty and uncle, mann it sucks. why does my poor uncle have to be put through this, lyk really. her doesnt deserve to be treated so unfairly. and even his son, my 6 yr old cousin, has to be put through the terror of all this. ahh, it makes me so upset.
then it comes down to, why do bad things happen to good people? why? i pray, i always pray that everything will be alright, that they will get through it. theres nothing really i can do, so i pray. i would say whats going on but its kinda personal to blog about :S so ye.
ohh, i wish things could just be alright, for one week. please, God. i pray.....

kill me :'(

omg sometimes i really wonder if i belong with my family, i really do. everyone's always putting me down or saying something to upset me and its lyk only once in lyk a life time that we actually have a nice family moment! ahh my frkn dad always shouting at me for no reason, omg seriously i want him to leave me alone!
jst then i started crying coz of what he was saying --'
he doesnt even realise sometimes, it really hurts. and atm im so upset. i need a shoulder to cry on :'( i miss my aunty :( shes in india and has been for a few years now but before she lived here and was a sub teacher. faa i miss her so freaking much, she was lyk my mother :'( and i just want her back! i spoke to her today, she called and as soon as i heard her voice i was instantly happy. and then as we got talking i was gna start crying coz shes not here, with me, oh gosh, the tears are rolling down now :'( its not fair, before i was so dependednt on her and then her family needed her so she had to leave and now its lyk, what can i do. i had to learn to do things more independently and i miss her! :'( ahh i hate my life, at home at least. i just love being around my friends, they make it all better :)

naww, i dnt want to lose anyone. but i feel as though i am, and that feeling makes me cry so much :'( lyk really, i dnt wna lose that person so i am trying my best not to and to get them back! :( why does everything have to be so hard now? why now? i miss the way it all used to be, so simple and happy. but one thing can change all that, one thing can make the biggest difference :( oh whyy did it have to be this way? i want to turn back time. i want a hug :(

--'

another topic that is lyk stalking me. and that is the term, 'remember.....'
ye i no, me and memory only this time its kinda not that. i can remember that time when....
bu its just lyk im tired of remembering something that used to be, only coz i want it back. i dnt just wna be remembering it. I WNA BE LIVING IT AGAIN! i want to have more things to remember not jst look back all the time, even though i do tend to live in the ast a lot. right now i just miss so much and the more i think about it the more upset i get? so i want to have more memories and make the best of now and today!
no really, im serious. i miss it so much and i just want it back so badly. if you can do more than just remember these special times and moments then you would wouldnt you? well i want to live them again bu everythings so different now that all i hear is remember that time..... bu i want it back. i really do. ye of course i remember, things lyk that i will never forget....

what happened?

well right now a lot is going on. at least that what it feels lyk. idno bu i feel so sad, lyk something is missing...again :(
ahh crapp, something jst happened to my neck and it kills. ouch! :/
ahh so much work to do, assignments and stuff. ahh, its all piling up now?
at the moment things are a bit hard, idno bu lyk i miss the way everything was before. now its so different and i no sometimes change is good but i wasnt ready for this at all. and its just makes me sad knowing... :(
its not fair and on top of that people in my class sed that next yr and in yr11 our grade will have had so many girls leave and im gna miss all my friends so much, im gna cry! :'(
its hard knowing someone for a while, watching them change, getting closer to them and better friends and then, bam, they're gone. or it seems lyk that coz they've maybe changed co much that you hardly known them? :(
ahh just that thought makes me so upset inside, since ive kinda gone through that once and boy did it kill me! :/ i jst dont know how i would handle it if it had to happen again, especially since lyk my friends now, ive gotten to know them so well it feels lyk we've known eachother forever! and thats pretty amazing, i jst wouldnt like to lose any of them thats all. but i know that they are friends forever, bu maybe when they change they forget? and idno. still kills me, i jst dont want that happening. i would miss them so much, mann they are the reason i cant keep a straight face at school! :D they just make me so happy! they really do and im so greatful and thankful to have them as my friends, no matter what people say about me being different or whatever i jst dont care! :(
it still kills me, the thought of ever losing any of them but then again, ive made promises with some of them that i know they will keep! :) i seriously would be lost without them, they remind me who i am. if i ever forgot that i would always know where i can find myself and thats with my friends <3

its a beautiful day (8)

haha. one thing i abosolutely love about Australia and thats its weather <3 lyk today, haha i went to the city and there was such a nice breeze and oh, lovely blue sky and its not too hot, just pleasant. i want to go for a walk to the lake, only not by myself! so i dnt think that would happen. haha. well, i feel really moody atm, lyk last night i was in a really bad mood and today i feel normal again :) hehe, but i hope this mood thing goes away. ahh, tomorrow is the english assessment thingo and i think im gna FAIL! --' ehh, hoping and longing for the holidays so badd! we need a break, and i wna go swimming too! woo, gotta love spring! :)
well hope you all have a lovely afternoon and rest of the day? :) haha. ttly ;)

uhhh....

right now, at this very second! i am upset, miserable and idno why. i had a good day but right now i feel lyk crap. and i dnt lyk it! eww, i really dnt. ahh and i dno whats going on. i really dont. mann i feel lyk i wna go somewhere, escape all this, just for one moment. and my memory, i think its getting worse, i love to remember the good things but someimes u have to remember the bad too, and all i do now is remember the bad D: i need something good to remember, i really do. before i forget! :( ohh, why did things have to be so hard now? :'( its all changing and im starting to miss those old days even more, which gets me thinking....
sometimes not always a good thing. oh...please, i pray everything gets better,
I MISS ... :(

idno, SOMETHINGS MISSING, and once again im not sure what that is! :/

and now, i dnt now how or why, but i feel lyk im being left behind? :'( random, jst came to me but thats how i feel. i need someone to keep me comforty :(

family matters! :)

ok i no, i dnt always appreciate my family bu tonight we went out, lyk for my cousins 17th bday and naww, mann i love being with my cousins. were so close, naww i miss them sometimes i really do miss those old days when we lived together. naww. oh well ye and lyk im so proud of my big cousin, his bday is on monday, hes the one turning 17 and hes lyk the older brother i always wanted. haha and ye i was just talking to him kinda about stuff and haha funny dude! lmao. gotta love em
bu ye, hes got his Ls and i saw him driving home, so proud and also coz hes so smart and stuff! woo. naww and ye, lyk im proud and next yr my lil cousin is going to yr6 and my other one is going to yr8 and the eldest going to yr12! mann how time flies. i remember when we were all in primary, mann thoes were the days. we all looked after eachother. naww. i have more to say bu i wanted to make this one quick!
haha. if only, i miss those days.... :(

sadisfied :D

hehe im so super duper happy right now. im in ist but i just had to share this. haha. this point i feel that everything is perfect and i dnt want anything to ruin my moment. haha. woooooo! i love my life right now. haha. had a pretty funny recess, i laughed so hard i was crying. mann i lovee my friends! haha. make my day! and i had a pretty awsome weekend. haha. yesterday i watched 7hrs of oc! wooo. thats was so cool, haha. and then at night i did my science hw, im so proud i actually did it all! :D im also pretty happy with how im going in school right now, lyk that phase i went through im over and back to work. now i actually wna do my work coz i no that im helping myself but also because i dnt wna have to have the stress of rushing everything. im proud of myself i really am and i hope to continue as i am now, only putting in more effort. i still have thoes school goals to achieve.
love it,
and in my head atm is that song im not sure what its called but it goes lyk.....
(8) feel that beat.....move...(8) haha. i dno the song seems really upbeat and ye, thats my mood. wooo. love love loving it :)
hope u have a lovely day ;)

oh do i ever..... :(

aww this afternoon i walked home with my lovely friend gabby as she now lives closer to me. woo i get to watch her new house grow (well be built anyways) haha. how exciting. anyways on gabby's street, the new one where her new house will be, there is this park and gabby and i just talked, about stuff and omg. primary, how i miss it so much! i really dooo :'(
you dont understand how it feels, being so close to someone for lyk 4 or more years and then you just go your seperate ways, not outa choice but because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it! :(
faaaaa i just hurt myself :( naww, kills.
but yea, its something that was really, really hard for me, seeing all my friends together and i was there, with no one! but thats all changed now, thankfully. thats why i call myself lucky, for now having the bestest and most awsome friends everrrr! lyk really, words cannot describe how thankful an greatful i am to have them!
bu ye gabby and i were talking and i told her how my best friend from primary lives just one house down from me, and shes lyk wow! and u havent seen eachother. naww. and i no, that seems pretty sad bu i cant help it. i make the effort to meet and make time to see them but it doesnt always work and I MISS THEM SO MUCHHH! :'(
and i told gabby how growing up i had kinda bad experences with friendships and stuff, and i guess that counts to why, now im so sensetive about that kinda stuff. lyk really, hah i cried, ness u no now? idno bu it scares me to think i could lose any of my friends, when ive already gone through so much, during my childhood of unstable friendships. :( but its all good now, well better that good. haha its AWSOME!! i love my life now, well my social life with my friends. :D
and i also love walking home with gabby and just talking, especially when lyk in primary even though i lived so close to my school i couldnt walk home with my friends and do that kinda stuff i can do that now. haha. its pretty cool, and even better on days lyk this. ;)
naww but lyk i no everyone changes, and i no i have coz as the people around you change so do you in some way? bu ye. i guess thats just the way it works.
na but also in my primary everying was lyk so simple and lovely and stuff lyk that you ddnt really have to worry. i dnt think my grade during priamry were sterotypical? coz wen i went to ur 7 in mcauley i learnt so much, haha. ddnt no a lot of people my age did stuff, coz well all the people around me ddnt so i probably just guessed everyone was similar? but i was so wrong.
lyk haha you could say going into high school everything was so new and i had an innocent mind, and then things changed. haha
naww bu even gabby sed lyk people do change and then you miss how thing used to be, but if u miss something that much you make the effort to get or bring that back, if thats possible? but yes anything is possible and i do not regret going to mcauley one bit but i so do miss them. i really do. :(
i really was so lucky to meet my friends i swear they are all so unique and funny and just the BESTESTT! haha. iloveyou all <3