"Sometimes I think we waste our words and we waste our moments and we don't take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance."

-Clay Evans, One Tree Hill

(one of my favourite quotes from season 7)

I love you

Sometimes, just randomly I guess, but sometimes I just msg one or a few of my friends a simple msg of "I love you" and yea its random because it comes out of the blue..well when they receive my msg anyway and hopefully it makes them smile but most of the time I get a reply saying "where did that come from?" if not "love you too" and because I'm me, I say, "it comes from my heart.." hahhaahha which is completely true, but these texts are normally random not because I love my friends sometimes more than others..which I guess could be possible but it's more so because I just randomly feel the need to tell them that I love them, because I always do, but I don't always say it..and sometimes I just want to..it all really started when I begun watching one tree hill and realise how greatful and fortunate I am to have the friends I do and to have formed such strong friendships :) that show always hits the spot haha really won't ever get tired of it..ever!! :)

So yea I've wanted to blog for ages but i never seem to..or hardly ever do..lol and I find it amazing that right now I'm using a blogspot app on my phone..when a few years ago I wished I could hahhaa times are a changing..

There are a few other things that I wanted to blog about..maybe I'll end up doing it, maybe not..hopefully I do thou.

not cool

I know I haven't blogged in a while, and im sorry for that..considering the circumstances I wish I was here for a more joyful occasion but..

I feel a sickness in my stomach..knowing the truth, but more so knowing that previously and hearing you tell me otherwise..as a family we dont talk a lot about much but thats alright because i have my friends and my cousins for that, and thats just the way its been and because of that i guess i can understand more..but still

at around 230am this morning, my body woke me up, i dont know why but it did..then i could hear my mum on the phone, at such an odd hour. i listened carefully and realised, it was bad news, it was about my avo mama (my dad's mum) she was sick for a while and now, she was no more.. from the phone call i heard bits and pieces clearly, mostly hearing my mum saying make sure she has a nice coffin and everything like that, talking to my dads sisters in goa. so hearing this obviously i started to think, and found it harder to get back to sleep..i was thinking about my cousins who were so close to my avo, i wasnt all that close with her at all but she was still my avo..

i woke up this morning and while eating breakfast, my mum told me my avo was just really sick and its her final days, even thou its bad to say, its best that she passes away because of the pain she is in..which i completely understand and know its for the best. but little did she know that i knew, i heard the phone conversation and i wanted my mum to confirm my thoughts..instead she didnt. and so being me, i had to know. so i went on facebook and my cousin's page and saw the last thing she posted..about my avo mama passing away..and it kinda hurt that my mum lied to me, i can understand i guess that she needs time to process it and everything, but we're not babies, and she needs to stop sugarcoating everything and just tell us how it is. i know, we all know death is a part of life, its inevitable.. and i guess considering the circumstances i won't  say anything about  it, but i wish she told me the truth..

not cool

and i can hear my dad isn't coping that well with it..but my mum still wants him to be hush about it..thats not fair, let him react and let him express his emotions.

Ive had a lot of people, distant relations pass away but never anyone in my immediate family. ive been to many funerals, participated in different ways, again never my immediate family..even though i wasnt close with my avo mama, she's still my avo, and she's still my dad's mother and may she Rest In Peace <3

My favourite girls #graduated

McAuley Year 12 Class of 2012

14th September 2012

Memories from the last week of school :) love these girls <3

future endeavours

Hello fellow bloggers, it has been way too long since I've blogged and it feels weird blogging after so long. It sucks that i haven't blogged in ages :/ sorry about that

Okay. So I have a huge problem, today the UAC thingo opened so students of year12 2012 now have the opportunity to apply for the uni courses of their choosing and unfortunately, I still have no idea what im going to do however I am leaning towards going to a uni outside of sydney..but its still just a thought for now.

So I have things im interested in studying at uni, such as philosophy and right now im reading about anthropology which seems interesting, so I'm considering a Bachelor of Art in some area more than anything else, but who knows, I may change my mind..

Every night I just pray, pray that God gives me some guidance of what His plan is for me and what im supposed to do next year or in the future, I know He has something in store for me, as He does for everyone but I just guidance of what im supposed to do..

There are so many things I've been thinking about, heading towards the humanitarian department but people keep advising me I should just do that as a hobby, and thinking about it now, I guess amnesty and Vinnies and other such organisations, rather have volunteers than paid workers so I guess its best I don't go looking for a paid job in that field..but it will always be a part of my life, that im sure of.

So after having an awesome day at my dear friend Gabby's house today, I was walking home before it got dark and I was fortunate enough to see the sun setting on my way :) what a beautiful sight, and I think this picture sums up this post. There is a path for me, and with guidance and support from my loved ones and people around me, and with God's help and courage I will find that path and it will lead me to great places :)

There is always so much I want to say, and so much I could say, but I'll leave it at that <3

Have a lovely night and appreciate what's around you <3

emeyeaye

Hellloooooo bloggers and HAPPY NEW YEARR! jhahaha i have definitely been m.i.a from my blog and that kinda sucks since ive had so much ive wanted to blog about but i never seem to do.. sorry for that but it is a new year, that being it is officially 2012 as it is already the 2nd, almost the 3rd of january

okay so im not going to update and blog about everything i havent since last time i was on here..but lets just say a lot has been going on and leave it at that.

so it being a new year and all, it is already soooo busy, since the new year has begun i have either had people here at my house or i have been out of the house and it only gets better... --' lol so many plans for the upcoming weekends just thinking about it makes me tired hahhaa. well this year i hope to be more ambitious, i have another blog created since last year but i have yet to compose anything in it yet, sorry. hopefully i will be able to get some stuff up and yeaa..so i have big plans for this year, i have done no hw so far these holidays..to my dislike which makes me more worried when i think about school starting and all (even though i have a month, im still worrying..i know i know, i worry too much) okay so im happy to say in the past year of 2011 i have matured and i have taken a stand for myself and believe my, hahaha i have used my voice, which im happy with :)

lol some of what ive said doesnt make sense, it probably needs to be cleared but thats alright..i want to get some work done before i sleep so yeaa :)

i hope to be more persistent when it comes to blogging since there is a lot i want/like to share :)

have a fantastic new year and best wishes :) <3

keep smiling and good night