"Sometimes I think we waste our words and we waste our moments and we don't take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance."
-Clay Evans, One Tree Hill
(one of my favourite quotes from season 7)
Saturday, December 15, 2012
I love you
Sometimes, just randomly I guess, but sometimes I just msg one or a few of my friends a simple msg of "I love you" and yea its random because it comes out of the blue..well when they receive my msg anyway and hopefully it makes them smile but most of the time I get a reply saying "where did that come from?" if not "love you too" and because I'm me, I say, "it comes from my heart.." hahhaahha which is completely true, but these texts are normally random not because I love my friends sometimes more than others..which I guess could be possible but it's more so because I just randomly feel the need to tell them that I love them, because I always do, but I don't always say it..and sometimes I just want to..it all really started when I begun watching one tree hill and realise how greatful and fortunate I am to have the friends I do and to have formed such strong friendships :) that show always hits the spot haha really won't ever get tired of it..ever!! :)
So yea I've wanted to blog for ages but i never seem to..or hardly ever do..lol and I find it amazing that right now I'm using a blogspot app on my phone..when a few years ago I wished I could hahhaa times are a changing..
There are a few other things that I wanted to blog about..maybe I'll end up doing it, maybe not..hopefully I do thou.
Friday, December 7, 2012
not cool
I know I haven't blogged in a while, and im sorry for that..considering the circumstances I wish I was here for a more joyful occasion but..
I feel a sickness in my stomach..knowing the truth, but more so knowing that previously and hearing you tell me otherwise..as a family we dont talk a lot about much but thats alright because i have my friends and my cousins for that, and thats just the way its been and because of that i guess i can understand more..but still
at around 230am this morning, my body woke me up, i dont know why but it did..then i could hear my mum on the phone, at such an odd hour. i listened carefully and realised, it was bad news, it was about my avo mama (my dad's mum) she was sick for a while and now, she was no more.. from the phone call i heard bits and pieces clearly, mostly hearing my mum saying make sure she has a nice coffin and everything like that, talking to my dads sisters in goa. so hearing this obviously i started to think, and found it harder to get back to sleep..i was thinking about my cousins who were so close to my avo, i wasnt all that close with her at all but she was still my avo..
i woke up this morning and while eating breakfast, my mum told me my avo was just really sick and its her final days, even thou its bad to say, its best that she passes away because of the pain she is in..which i completely understand and know its for the best. but little did she know that i knew, i heard the phone conversation and i wanted my mum to confirm my thoughts..instead she didnt. and so being me, i had to know. so i went on facebook and my cousin's page and saw the last thing she posted..about my avo mama passing away..and it kinda hurt that my mum lied to me, i can understand i guess that she needs time to process it and everything, but we're not babies, and she needs to stop sugarcoating everything and just tell us how it is. i know, we all know death is a part of life, its inevitable.. and i guess considering the circumstances i won't say anything about it, but i wish she told me the truth..
not cool
and i can hear my dad isn't coping that well with it..but my mum still wants him to be hush about it..thats not fair, let him react and let him express his emotions.
Ive had a lot of people, distant relations pass away but never anyone in my immediate family. ive been to many funerals, participated in different ways, again never my immediate family..even though i wasnt close with my avo mama, she's still my avo, and she's still my dad's mother and may she Rest In Peace <3
I feel a sickness in my stomach..knowing the truth, but more so knowing that previously and hearing you tell me otherwise..as a family we dont talk a lot about much but thats alright because i have my friends and my cousins for that, and thats just the way its been and because of that i guess i can understand more..but still
at around 230am this morning, my body woke me up, i dont know why but it did..then i could hear my mum on the phone, at such an odd hour. i listened carefully and realised, it was bad news, it was about my avo mama (my dad's mum) she was sick for a while and now, she was no more.. from the phone call i heard bits and pieces clearly, mostly hearing my mum saying make sure she has a nice coffin and everything like that, talking to my dads sisters in goa. so hearing this obviously i started to think, and found it harder to get back to sleep..i was thinking about my cousins who were so close to my avo, i wasnt all that close with her at all but she was still my avo..
i woke up this morning and while eating breakfast, my mum told me my avo was just really sick and its her final days, even thou its bad to say, its best that she passes away because of the pain she is in..which i completely understand and know its for the best. but little did she know that i knew, i heard the phone conversation and i wanted my mum to confirm my thoughts..instead she didnt. and so being me, i had to know. so i went on facebook and my cousin's page and saw the last thing she posted..about my avo mama passing away..and it kinda hurt that my mum lied to me, i can understand i guess that she needs time to process it and everything, but we're not babies, and she needs to stop sugarcoating everything and just tell us how it is. i know, we all know death is a part of life, its inevitable.. and i guess considering the circumstances i won't say anything about it, but i wish she told me the truth..
not cool
and i can hear my dad isn't coping that well with it..but my mum still wants him to be hush about it..thats not fair, let him react and let him express his emotions.
Ive had a lot of people, distant relations pass away but never anyone in my immediate family. ive been to many funerals, participated in different ways, again never my immediate family..even though i wasnt close with my avo mama, she's still my avo, and she's still my dad's mother and may she Rest In Peace <3
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