put the rubbish behind you and focus.. :/

there was something else..I had so much to blog about..
maybe next time --' lol gotta stop doing this.

I've been thinking..

hmm I've been thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that..I think too much :L lol  anything and everything I think about..the more I think about it, the more further and deeper it gets, as in I can think about something so much, to the extent that I begin to wonder..How did God decide this will happen? Most of the time it comes down to that question about.."WHY" as in why does this certain thing happen, as well as how did it happen etc. I always begin to wonder..How/Why did God want it to be like this as in how did He think of all this? pretty amazing stuff when you think about it..but still, I would love to know how.
I thought of having this conversation with God and like I dunno, maybe getting to know how it all started? I dont know, I guess it just fascinates me that the world, everything was thought of by God, every little aspect of it, all the creation, and of course I'm thankful for it :) definitely, but it interest me so much to know where it all came from :) It takes me ages and ages to think of creating simple things, things that are original to me..well I dont actually have anything but like I can understand how long it takes people in the world to produce and invent products (which at one point in my life I wanted to be an inventor :L) lol but yeaa just a thought.

another thing..
What are dreams?

See I have so many questions and I don't really think anyone I know can actually answer them.
darn, hahaha this is what thinking in the shower does to you :L
I have so many thoughts and questions and sometimes all I would like to have answers but I know that is hard so I guess I can live with those questions unanswered.

"Look at us, running around, always rushed, always late. I guess thats why they call it the human race. What we create most in this world is connection, and for some people it happens at first sight- thats when you know you know, its fate working its magic, and thats great for them, they get to live a pop song, ride the express train, but thats not the way it really works. For the rest of us its a bit less romantic, its complicated, its messy, its about horrible timing and fumbled opportunities, and not being able to say what you need to say when you need to say it.."
- Wally (The Switch)

because I like what I see and I enjoy playing with my camera :)

"353015, thats how many babies were born today"

"I think people like babies because they see stuff like hopes and dreams in their eyes, they see the future and they see goodness and the chance they have to be better than us, so I think babies are pretty cool, ohh and baby rabbits are even cooler, although I'm kinda glad Chester's a boy and never had babies, because I'm not sure I'll be able to give them up. I'd be too worried that they'd be okay, and that someone would love them as much as I would."
- James Lucus Scott
(oth s8ep18)

"Every child comes with the message, that God is not yet discouraged of us"

-Hayley Bob James Scott

(oth s8ep18)

I swear my love for one tree hill never gets old :L hahaha I absolutely love it! I learn so much and can you believe a 12year is so wise with what he says..lol and I know it is a tv show and not exactly real but still, the words of Jamie, its so true :) 

always and forever :) <3

In search of that silver lining..

Little piece of home, little piece I know, please don't let me go,
Little piece of home only thing I know I don't want to be alone.

Its a pretty day today :)

lol and I feel like pie :)

hahhaa just wanted to share :) lol

ps. IM SO HAPPY! LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL!! YAAAAY!! :)

living in the past..

hey.
I think I spend a lot of time living in the past, not to the point where I'm hard out acting like a child or anything..the past as in, my childhood and reminiscing about events in my life..
let me tell you why this happens so often, lol so I have all of my books on the dining table right, thats where I study and stuff and to my right, I have all of the albums and stuff so whenever I feel like it, I just grab an album and look through it, I remember times where I've had so much fun with my family, I swear I think one of the things I miss the most is living with my cousins, other than God I dont think I love anyone more than I love my cousins, no matter how annoying they may be at times, or how much patience we have when were with each other, I love them to death, they are my bothers and sister, they are my family. Looking through some photos today, I love how we went everywhere together, every photo where we went somewhere, they'd be there :) I love how we did so much together, till now actually whenever its any of our birthdays we always go over that night and give them the present and stuff have diner together or whatever the time is, but sometimes that doesnt happen. Sometimes someone is busy and it doesnt happen, no matter what, even if I have my birthday at home with my friends, I will always invite my cousins aunty and uncle too, havent seen them in a while and I miss hanging out with them, I miss the different events in my life that we've had the best adventures and the most fun, where we just muck about and enjoy ourselves, mann I love Noel, the youngest out of us five, in most pictures he's with me :) hahaha, I dont even remember him ever being that small :L lol and now he's in year 7, started high school and I hardly see him, Dexter started his first year of uni and Marilyn as always is the cute innocent one always surprising me with her many talents, that girl will do wonders :) these kids, they're my family. Growing up, no matter what happened we always stuck together, we always have each other's back. I wish we saw each other more though..

Something else that struck me is, through the many photos I saw, along with each memory and story that came to mind..there are the continuations of that story..
unfortunately some people in my life, over time a marriage has turned into a divorce, and people I looked back at in the photo, they are no longer a part of my life :( some people we have lost contact with, and some people, I dont know the reason but we dont talk to them anymore..I miss some of them..I really do. (whenever I meet family or someone new to me who I havent met before, the more I get to know them, the more attached in a way I become? They always say Im the 'affectionate' one, as in if I like you, I'll show it or tell it? well Im more affectionate than my sister anyway, but I get close to these people, and then they're not in my life anymore and I really had no control over it :/) I guess its not my business to know the reason behind it but still, they were as much part of my life as they were yours?
Then on the other hand, there are those life changing events that have occurred in the past few years..my cousin graduating High School, my 2nd cousins getting married and two of them having beautiful children, my family friend getting married at the end of this year, starting her life and living her dream as she marries and starts to build their dream home, my other 2nd cousin getting married next month, the planning taking place atm for this occasion to be the most important day :) both my grandmothers turning 80 and a few family reunions here and there :) all these lovely events, the things in life to look forward to..and in a few years I bet I'll be looking back at the photos from these events and wondering where all the time went :L hahha thats just life I guess :)

Another thing..when I look at the photos, I see my family. My Mum, Dad and Sister. A happy happier family, I miss that family too..it seems through the photos I can see this relationship I had with my sister, now thats gone somewhere else, im not sure what happened but its definitely not the same anymore. Similar thing with my parents..I dont want to say anymore here but with my family, a lot has changed but you know what, looking back, 11 years ago when I first came to Australia, I saw photos of me 5th birthday, first birthday here and I seriously am so blessed to have great memories of my childhood, I was not disadvantaged and I am so fortunate to have the childhood I did :) I have so many fond memories that will last a lifetime..

I know the past is past for a reason, and I need to focus more on the present but I like looking back, I know people change over time, thats not new or anything, but I wish some things stayed the same..I wish some things were like before because I remember how it was before, and I liked it..

lol there's this  photo of my sister and I that I found, and I really like it..but i'll post it later, its not here atm and im not bothered getting it but yeaa. lol :) so cute!

anyways, I changed my blog title, cause the song confessions2 has been in my head for ages but also, I find it more appropriate for my blog atm..but yeaa (clearly its not the exact lyrics lol).

Have a lovely day people, keep smiling :) <3