okay, now. that night. after i posted that, miserable and annyoing post, my awsome frivefnfg hhwefewfwf jjjjssa kkakhwf sjhfishfyisi
ajsfdoijf
aoisdhuo
lalsodlsa
and all that was sarah jst then, with the random letters :L im in re atm but im not bothered doing my work, so blogblogblog.! hehe, im so sad :L hehe.
...my awsome friend vanessa fb mailed me, and although she made my tears pour out more, still she helped me so much. i guess everyone needs a reminder sometimes ye? for anything they do
hello blogers
=] from sarah
.. lol, sorry. sarah jst randomly types so ye, its not exactly straight forward. :L
haha, as i was saying, we all need a reminder, if it maybe to find ourselves again, jst to know that you are loved, cared about, even to remind you of something so obvious, not even you could admit to that? lol, if u get me? :) anyways, ye. so for absolutely everything you have done for me, i say THANKYOU, i know that one word may not say a lot, but it means a lot. to me, because, ye. hehe, thanks for being you, and for being the BEST! i was fully gna scan the letter you gave me, but since im in class, and ye i wont. haha, but thats one awsome letter. and yes nessaaa, how can we ever forget those random and special moments, that have helped us so much, lyk YOU GLOW, I GLOW. we will always use it, as it is so effective. hehe, my memory may be bad at times, but the things you do, the great friend you are, i can never forget..! love you ness. and thanks, for that night and your letter :)
lol thanks to sarah, i forgot what else i was gna say, so ye. lol until next time :)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
no matter how hard i try..
no matter how hard i try to hold it in, jst before im about to leak, when my eyes are tearing up and i jst bite my lip, hoping nothing comes out, trying not to blink so the tears jst disappear, oh how i try to make it look as though i dnt care, when really i do. i care so much it hurts, it hurts knowing that i may loose.. well ye, i dnt even wna say it.. :'( oh how tears, weather your holding it in or letting it out, they always seem to get in the way.. of the truth? no, not the truth, of the reality of life.. and well, of everything?how i wish i could escape, its not always like this. just most of the time. maybe. okay okay, it could be a lot better, but then again i dnt have it all that bad.. i get blamed for everything, if its my dads fault, my mums fault. even if i was helping a friend, faa, it hurts knowing that whenever i try do something good, its never returned, not that i expect it to be. but why should i get in trouble for anything when it wasnt my fault? huuh? why me, i help and instead get introuble for helping. for being a friend.
its clear to say that my parents. my mum controls me. wait no. not jst me. my life too. :( she makes the big decisions for me, thats why im so not independent, and im so used to that now that i cant make the most simplest of decisions, to eat this or that, to wear shorts or pants.. i feel so restricted from life. i once thought i had some, whatever little control of my life it was, i thought i had some control. with my phone and my friends. luckily my mum had no control over my friends, who would be my friends, who i would hang out with. i feel, in a way so free at school. even though school has so many rules of its own, my mum cant stop me from doing anything there.
most of the time, i jst think about my parents, making them proud. showing how greatful i am to them, try to do my best at school, hardly ever ask for anything.. but no, sorry. its never good enough is it? not once, anytime i achieve in something, my mums always lyk, you could have done better, yes you did this this time, but next time do better. faaaaa, mann sometimes i feel lyk bursting out, swearing. but only in my head. coz even though im a respectful daughter, to my mum im not. nothing i do is ever good enough, no matter how much i achieve, its never good enough. jst once i dnt wna hear, "oh wow, well done. but could you have done better.. " faaack, idno, next time why dnt u sit in class for me, listen to the teachers talking about stuff, i always try to listen, work hard and attempt everything, whats the use if no matter how well i do, its never good enough for you? huuh? why. i try. i strive, FOR MY GOALS, not for yours.
I JST WNA ESCAPE.. anywhere, even if its for an hour or two, anything. i jst want to know how it would be if my parents werent so harsh, or strict. or demanding.. :'(
and another thing. i have a mouth dont i, yet no matter where i am. half the time its as if im speaking but nothings coming out. growing up at home, always. whenever i was talking, someone would butt in, cut me out. ahh, i really dnt mind sometime, but when it happens over and over again, lyk really. cant you see im explaining something? especially before, when i used to talk to my mum about anything, my dad or sister would cutt in, i would forget what i said or i continue after that person is done, seee im always the one kept waiting.. and i really dnt mind, but how many times does it happen to me. then if by accident i but in when my mums talking, i frkn get in trouble. i swear i was born into this family to take the blam for everything and to jst be used and get introuble, :'( i always think, theres something out there, for me. jst for me. something God has for me, that no one can take away, when will that come, when will i stop questioning myself for things that soemone my age maybe shouldnt be thinking.. sometimes i feel that i dnt matter, that no one cares what would happen.. i no its wrong to think, but i kinda have reason to dnt i? coz of whatever happens in my life, the bad anyways.. :(
ahh, im so tired, havent done my homework. oh well, tomorrow morning.. i have so much to let out, but i'll go now. sorry for such a long post. and if you were really bothered enough to read all that, you must really care. and thankyou for that, <3
and so, somewhere over that rainbow, someday. i will find what ive been searching for, the answer that completes me so much.. yet how long will that take, and i will keep searching, if thats what God wants, i deserve it dont i? but if its right in front of me, that Lord, please help me see, because its something i need. i want the answer to my problem..
night guys <3
:S
lol, i no i still havent blogged about the homily on the weekend, i really hope to, soon. sorry, jst felt lyk blogging about something else..
well im pretty stupid, on fb before, i used to kinda explode in a way with what i put as my stats, not even thinking who would see it, a lot of my family and family friends have me on fb, --' ooh and i felt so... idno, when i realised. especially when its something really negetive? :/ so i need to think before i type and control my anger, at times when i need to. lol.
omg, i so wish i was going to wilcania atm, to get away from my parents but also, the experience of something so different, and helping out a community so far away from help. thats so amazing to think that a few teachers and students from our school are going to help out the indigenous community? but ye, i wna do that next time, really. if only i out my note in, im so irreponsible. but ye, lol. feeling a tad down atm.. and then jst thinking about the long journey, ahh, makes me wna be there even more! i always, always regret not doing something, or even doing something. sometimes i jst wished i was satisfied with the decisions i make. :/
anyways, forgot what i was gna say.. so i guess i'll jst leave it there?
ohh boy.. :(
well im pretty stupid, on fb before, i used to kinda explode in a way with what i put as my stats, not even thinking who would see it, a lot of my family and family friends have me on fb, --' ooh and i felt so... idno, when i realised. especially when its something really negetive? :/ so i need to think before i type and control my anger, at times when i need to. lol.
omg, i so wish i was going to wilcania atm, to get away from my parents but also, the experience of something so different, and helping out a community so far away from help. thats so amazing to think that a few teachers and students from our school are going to help out the indigenous community? but ye, i wna do that next time, really. if only i out my note in, im so irreponsible. but ye, lol. feeling a tad down atm.. and then jst thinking about the long journey, ahh, makes me wna be there even more! i always, always regret not doing something, or even doing something. sometimes i jst wished i was satisfied with the decisions i make. :/
anyways, forgot what i was gna say.. so i guess i'll jst leave it there?
ohh boy.. :(
Sunday, October 25, 2009
responsibility and family :)
alright now, im kinda in the mood to write this as well, my mind is only clouded with one thing, although i wont blog about it coz ye, i dnt want to?
anyways, on friday my friend angelica came over and then only left at lyk 10pm so we had a lot of time to kill and do stuff. we were jst on my bed, in the dark talking. haha, it was so peaceful, even though i didnt really like the dark my curtain was open so the street lights on the other side of my house let some light come into my room. hehe, it was so nice jst to be with angel as we dont really spend that much time together anymore. but eye, it was a great afternoon :)
so we had a few conversations but one that i wanted to blog about was how the group of friends i have, well the group im in, were so much more like a family. we all look out for eachother, set good examples, show our love and concern for eachother and ye, similar to a family. hehe, and we all get along so well together! :D
but lyk ye, angel and i were lyk, were more the babies of the group, lyk idno how but in some way we are, angel is the baby and i come after as the second youngest? haha, we fully planned out our family :L
then the mothers would be, gabby, vianca and vanessa. all of them are a are a big influence, and in their own way are so motherly? haha, lyk once when we went to vianca's house, gabby made us lunch. haha, she fully cooked omlet for us, it was realy nice. haha, and whenever we do come together outside of school and maybe even on school we look after eachother so well, lyk making sure everyone is fine, and safe. and its a really nice to have that feeling of security when your with you friends. but then again my friends are just that awsome ;D hehe, well, vianca is another mother, in a way to us. haha, she makes sure everyone is happy, and always has those 'talks' hehe, to make us feel better and happy. she can always make you laugh :L she also procects us? lol, you can always feel safe when vianca is around? :)
then vanessa, shes jst so loving? haha, but yes. she is also our mother, we look up to her..
even though they are lyk the mothers in the group, doesnt mean they always have to be showing us the right thing to do, well we all kinda set a good exapmle for eachother :) but ye, we are all here for one another, haha whether we are just the babies, the mothers or older sisters? :L
i dnt really now how we are, be angel and i feel that we are a lot similar to a family. hehe, everyone else is like a bit sister, giving advice, jst being there :) hehe, i really do love all my friends. always set a good exapmle for me :) im not sure what else i can say, lol angel if u have anything to add, anything i missed. you blog about it on urs ye? ;)
and so, still thinking about that thing, :( i so wish i didnt have to think of it, really..
oh well, i guess im jst gna have to talk about it later?
anyway, bye for now
have a nice day. <3
anyways, on friday my friend angelica came over and then only left at lyk 10pm so we had a lot of time to kill and do stuff. we were jst on my bed, in the dark talking. haha, it was so peaceful, even though i didnt really like the dark my curtain was open so the street lights on the other side of my house let some light come into my room. hehe, it was so nice jst to be with angel as we dont really spend that much time together anymore. but eye, it was a great afternoon :)
so we had a few conversations but one that i wanted to blog about was how the group of friends i have, well the group im in, were so much more like a family. we all look out for eachother, set good examples, show our love and concern for eachother and ye, similar to a family. hehe, and we all get along so well together! :D
but lyk ye, angel and i were lyk, were more the babies of the group, lyk idno how but in some way we are, angel is the baby and i come after as the second youngest? haha, we fully planned out our family :L
then the mothers would be, gabby, vianca and vanessa. all of them are a are a big influence, and in their own way are so motherly? haha, lyk once when we went to vianca's house, gabby made us lunch. haha, she fully cooked omlet for us, it was realy nice. haha, and whenever we do come together outside of school and maybe even on school we look after eachother so well, lyk making sure everyone is fine, and safe. and its a really nice to have that feeling of security when your with you friends. but then again my friends are just that awsome ;D hehe, well, vianca is another mother, in a way to us. haha, she makes sure everyone is happy, and always has those 'talks' hehe, to make us feel better and happy. she can always make you laugh :L she also procects us? lol, you can always feel safe when vianca is around? :)
then vanessa, shes jst so loving? haha, but yes. she is also our mother, we look up to her..
even though they are lyk the mothers in the group, doesnt mean they always have to be showing us the right thing to do, well we all kinda set a good exapmle for eachother :) but ye, we are all here for one another, haha whether we are just the babies, the mothers or older sisters? :L
i dnt really now how we are, be angel and i feel that we are a lot similar to a family. hehe, everyone else is like a bit sister, giving advice, jst being there :) hehe, i really do love all my friends. always set a good exapmle for me :) im not sure what else i can say, lol angel if u have anything to add, anything i missed. you blog about it on urs ye? ;)
and so, still thinking about that thing, :( i so wish i didnt have to think of it, really..
oh well, i guess im jst gna have to talk about it later?
anyway, bye for now
have a nice day. <3
Saturday, October 24, 2009
sorry.
sorry people. im kinda not bothered doing those other two posts atm.
but i will.
one will be about the homily. and the other about how my friends and lyk family, haha a convo my friend angelica and i had :)
but i will.
one will be about the homily. and the other about how my friends and lyk family, haha a convo my friend angelica and i had :)
Vianca: just for you :)
hello my dearest vianca,
you wanted me to have a post for you, and since your going on wednesday? to willcanya?
(lol, sorry for my spelling, i think its wrong?) i thought i would write this to say, see you later and have a safe trip.. so here i go. :)
and so, i just wanted to have a reflection, of how much you have done for me, (sounds gay but oh well :L)
mann vianca. i swear you are such a good friend, always looking out for everyone, helping out.
the advice you've given me, has helped, always have. and even jst you around, haha ur funny personality always makes the atmosphere ur in happy and laughing, coz thats jst who you are ;) you have been nice, in your own vianca way, ever since year 7? haha, in my classes i didnt really get to know you until yr 8. how fortunate was i! :D haha,
THANK YOU VIANCA, for everything. :) really. im so fortunate to know and have a friend like you. hehe.
anyways, dnt wna bore you, and you know the stories? :L haha, have a safe trip and time at wilcanya, im sure all the kids there will have fun with you and everyone else from our grade whos going, WE WILL MISS YOU! im sure you'll have a great time. haha.
i really could go on all day about how much you've done for me, and what an amazing friend you are, but then you already know that ;) hehe. i love you vianca <3 hehe
a friend of mine, Stephen Reid kinda writes songs, and he wrote this one, thought it was appropriate :)
Alright strange mood tonight, did this.
They are, just always there.
You are, never alone.
They are, the best things.
And nothing, can take them AWAY.
You are, the best thing.
To ever, happen to me.
I can't, believe you're here.
Or that, you waste your time.
They are, always there.
To love, and take care of you.
They for, give when you do wrong.
And they'll do anything for you.
I am, so lucky.
That you, wait for me.
You are, so crazy.
To sit around here with me.
Take care, of them forever.
They may, just disappear.
You might, drift apart.
But I know, that will never happen.
I am, so lucky.
I am ,so happy.
When you are.
When you're around.
Love always, Ninoshka x
o
you wanted me to have a post for you, and since your going on wednesday? to willcanya?
(lol, sorry for my spelling, i think its wrong?) i thought i would write this to say, see you later and have a safe trip.. so here i go. :)
and so, i just wanted to have a reflection, of how much you have done for me, (sounds gay but oh well :L)
mann vianca. i swear you are such a good friend, always looking out for everyone, helping out.
the advice you've given me, has helped, always have. and even jst you around, haha ur funny personality always makes the atmosphere ur in happy and laughing, coz thats jst who you are ;) you have been nice, in your own vianca way, ever since year 7? haha, in my classes i didnt really get to know you until yr 8. how fortunate was i! :D haha,
THANK YOU VIANCA, for everything. :) really. im so fortunate to know and have a friend like you. hehe.
anyways, dnt wna bore you, and you know the stories? :L haha, have a safe trip and time at wilcanya, im sure all the kids there will have fun with you and everyone else from our grade whos going, WE WILL MISS YOU! im sure you'll have a great time. haha.
i really could go on all day about how much you've done for me, and what an amazing friend you are, but then you already know that ;) hehe. i love you vianca <3 hehe
a friend of mine, Stephen Reid kinda writes songs, and he wrote this one, thought it was appropriate :)
Alright strange mood tonight, did this.
They are, just always there.
You are, never alone.
They are, the best things.
And nothing, can take them AWAY.
You are, the best thing.
To ever, happen to me.
I can't, believe you're here.
Or that, you waste your time.
They are, always there.
To love, and take care of you.
They for, give when you do wrong.
And they'll do anything for you.
I am, so lucky.
That you, wait for me.
You are, so crazy.
To sit around here with me.
Take care, of them forever.
They may, just disappear.
You might, drift apart.
But I know, that will never happen.
I am, so lucky.
I am ,so happy.
When you are.
When you're around.
Love always, Ninoshka x
o
hey
i have a few posts in store today, dno if i'll get them all done thou, i wna get two of them done, and yesterday after mass i thought i would blog about the homily when i got home yesterday, but since i only got home around 12am i couldnt, and i kinda lost the mood, but if i do feel lyk it again, i will blog.
and so now to one of the posts.
and so now to one of the posts.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
the "what ifs" and "if only"...
theses two questions are so commonly asked and thought about..
"what if... blahblah, "
say you lyk someone, haha not me but someone else and lyk you have so many opportunities and stuff to actually talk to him, have a conversation and maybe even he can get to know you more, haha maybe even as much as you secretly know them? :L
you would always be thinking, hmm. what if that one time i actually went up to him..?
haha, or what if i did this or that? :L
funny times, hehe. oh well, you can always think and wonder what if.. but if u actually have that chance to do something, TAKE IT! haha, God gave you that chance to do something, you never know until you actually make that what if.. into a i can, or i will. haha, coz you CAN and you WILL regret it if you dont forfill that what if.. of that chance. haha.
and then that.. if only..
lol, if only that was me instead of her..?
damm, i had that chance but did i take it? no i didnt, and there you have it.. regret. haha
this is a funny topic for me to talk about coz atm i dnt like anyone, no crushes or anything. but then again ive got other stuff to do and think about? :/
ahh, well. haha its good to sometimes forget about those things, take a break/ a breather and HAVE FUNN MANN. haha.
i shall ttyl and finish this at home coz the bells about to go.. :)
maryanne says HI! :)
have a lovely day <3
"what if... blahblah, "
say you lyk someone, haha not me but someone else and lyk you have so many opportunities and stuff to actually talk to him, have a conversation and maybe even he can get to know you more, haha maybe even as much as you secretly know them? :L
you would always be thinking, hmm. what if that one time i actually went up to him..?
haha, or what if i did this or that? :L
funny times, hehe. oh well, you can always think and wonder what if.. but if u actually have that chance to do something, TAKE IT! haha, God gave you that chance to do something, you never know until you actually make that what if.. into a i can, or i will. haha, coz you CAN and you WILL regret it if you dont forfill that what if.. of that chance. haha.
and then that.. if only..
lol, if only that was me instead of her..?
damm, i had that chance but did i take it? no i didnt, and there you have it.. regret. haha
this is a funny topic for me to talk about coz atm i dnt like anyone, no crushes or anything. but then again ive got other stuff to do and think about? :/
ahh, well. haha its good to sometimes forget about those things, take a break/ a breather and HAVE FUNN MANN. haha.
i shall ttyl and finish this at home coz the bells about to go.. :)
maryanne says HI! :)
have a lovely day <3
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
:D
HELLO THERE BLOGSPOT WORLD :)
hehe, im so happy! why, coz i have amazing friends. i have so much to look back on, with all of them. mainly three. haha angel, vianca and ness :)
i remember last yr they always came over, or was that at the beginning of this yr? maybe it was both? haha, anyways ye, i have so many fond memories, boyy am i lucky :D
hehe, its so coool. and even good, jumpy, happy songs are on atm :) make me even happier.
but ye, haha today my day started off alright, and then i went with vianca to get her class roll, omg. haha she did something, made us both laugh hard out, haha i started to cry :L and then even again in science. mann do i love vianca.
haha, and then angelica :) naww, so many memories too, i remember when i kinda first really became tight with her, real good friends last yr when she, vianca and i were in the same class. naww i miss our class last yr, it was the best :) <3
haha, and we made so many promises to eachother one day on the train, i shall never forget our talk on the train that day, haha it was the day i also went to prayer watch with ness? :) haha. and hopefully next yr we will join st pats soccer team :) haha, the mixed team :L
gotta love angel.
and vanessaa. haha, even more memories. all those times last yr, wen we did sport together, and angel was almost alway away. haha, had so much fun. i miss doing sport with you two. haha so many laughs :L we all jst love to laugh. and then those afternoons where ud jst come over, wed jst talk and sometimes remenice? :) haha. and vanessa i love you too. haha, crack me up :L you all do. haha.
naww, see. i remember all these things and more, it seems as though i have known you guys forever, seriously. all of you. haha, and then i think back, but it was actually jst a few years ago, boyy am i glad to have met you all. life without you guys would not be life at all. haha, i would be so deprived of having such awsome friends, knowing such beautifully wonderful people such as youselves, well that really is a joy. haha, all those funny things we do, jokes we make. lmao we laugh at everything. you make me who i am.. or at least help. haha you all influence me so much and i look up to you for that <3
and i know for sure that this frienship will be one, FOREVER! :D
love you always <3
hehe, im so happy! why, coz i have amazing friends. i have so much to look back on, with all of them. mainly three. haha angel, vianca and ness :)
i remember last yr they always came over, or was that at the beginning of this yr? maybe it was both? haha, anyways ye, i have so many fond memories, boyy am i lucky :D
hehe, its so coool. and even good, jumpy, happy songs are on atm :) make me even happier.
but ye, haha today my day started off alright, and then i went with vianca to get her class roll, omg. haha she did something, made us both laugh hard out, haha i started to cry :L and then even again in science. mann do i love vianca.
haha, and then angelica :) naww, so many memories too, i remember when i kinda first really became tight with her, real good friends last yr when she, vianca and i were in the same class. naww i miss our class last yr, it was the best :) <3
haha, and we made so many promises to eachother one day on the train, i shall never forget our talk on the train that day, haha it was the day i also went to prayer watch with ness? :) haha. and hopefully next yr we will join st pats soccer team :) haha, the mixed team :L
gotta love angel.
and vanessaa. haha, even more memories. all those times last yr, wen we did sport together, and angel was almost alway away. haha, had so much fun. i miss doing sport with you two. haha so many laughs :L we all jst love to laugh. and then those afternoons where ud jst come over, wed jst talk and sometimes remenice? :) haha. and vanessa i love you too. haha, crack me up :L you all do. haha.
naww, see. i remember all these things and more, it seems as though i have known you guys forever, seriously. all of you. haha, and then i think back, but it was actually jst a few years ago, boyy am i glad to have met you all. life without you guys would not be life at all. haha, i would be so deprived of having such awsome friends, knowing such beautifully wonderful people such as youselves, well that really is a joy. haha, all those funny things we do, jokes we make. lmao we laugh at everything. you make me who i am.. or at least help. haha you all influence me so much and i look up to you for that <3
and i know for sure that this frienship will be one, FOREVER! :D
love you always <3
Saturday, October 17, 2009
its just not fair.. :(
i kinda dnt know why im blogging, dno what to blog about but i feel lyk it.
omg, why is life so unfair? lyk almost everytime i do something, it comes back at me, the wrong way, as if i did something wrong? and that upsets me...its jst not fair..
and as hard as i try sometimes, its jst not fair..
i get blamed for almost anything and everything.. i guess its easy to blame it all on me? but its not fair..
whatever is going on atm.. its not fair..
why is it not fair? idno, but i want it to change, for things to get better, and not worse, im sure everyone jst needs a break from all this, its jst too much and its jst NOT FAIR..
i hate seeing my friend, one of my best friends lyk this.. :'(
i dnt know what to say anymore.. i jst wish and pray that it all gets better.
once again, i could go on all day about how unfair life is at times.. but thats not necessary.
cant wait till tomorrow, havent talked or seen half my friends in ages, and these holidays have felt way longer than two weeks. haha i actually did a lot and there wasnt that much homework, not that i even did anything.. :/ haha, i miss them so much! <3
omg, why is life so unfair? lyk almost everytime i do something, it comes back at me, the wrong way, as if i did something wrong? and that upsets me...its jst not fair..
and as hard as i try sometimes, its jst not fair..
i get blamed for almost anything and everything.. i guess its easy to blame it all on me? but its not fair..
whatever is going on atm.. its not fair..
why is it not fair? idno, but i want it to change, for things to get better, and not worse, im sure everyone jst needs a break from all this, its jst too much and its jst NOT FAIR..
i hate seeing my friend, one of my best friends lyk this.. :'(
i dnt know what to say anymore.. i jst wish and pray that it all gets better.
once again, i could go on all day about how unfair life is at times.. but thats not necessary.
cant wait till tomorrow, havent talked or seen half my friends in ages, and these holidays have felt way longer than two weeks. haha i actually did a lot and there wasnt that much homework, not that i even did anything.. :/ haha, i miss them so much! <3
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
does ist have to be?
omg, i wish there was less of these posts, lyk what im bot to post about anyway..
alright, topic: my sister --'
why does she have to be so impossible? lyk i hate fighting with her, i do. lyk before i was on the phone with my friend gabby and she heard deandra shouting at me and complaining as usual and omg, gabby was lyk wow, not even my sister and i fight lyk that... and deandra always, and i mean always blames it on me. hence why my mum calls my the bully, my sister can change my mood so quick its not funny, lyk really. and she will fight about anything and everything, its not even fun. i hate it! :(
and i dnt want to anymore, so i give up, i give in, i let her get away with all the crap she says about and to me, faa mann she even says stuff about my friends >< and that hurts coz they are always so nice to her, not that she deserves that! ahh, she says im adopted, i say ok. she calls me shart, i say ok...omg, im living as though i have no mouth of my own, no say in anything anymore, and all because i want to give my mum and dad a break from hearing us fight all the time, unlike my sister i dnt scream and shout and cry wen she does something to me, so it seems as though she does nothing, instead she hurts me so much inside, and im working on it, working on not letting the stuff she says get to me, its not at all easy.
i take the blame for things i dnt do, things i do do. haha DO DO! :L
anyways, i listen to my friends as always, and i wont stoop down to her level, jst let it go.. let her have her way...
ttly <3
alright, topic: my sister --'
why does she have to be so impossible? lyk i hate fighting with her, i do. lyk before i was on the phone with my friend gabby and she heard deandra shouting at me and complaining as usual and omg, gabby was lyk wow, not even my sister and i fight lyk that... and deandra always, and i mean always blames it on me. hence why my mum calls my the bully, my sister can change my mood so quick its not funny, lyk really. and she will fight about anything and everything, its not even fun. i hate it! :(
and i dnt want to anymore, so i give up, i give in, i let her get away with all the crap she says about and to me, faa mann she even says stuff about my friends >< and that hurts coz they are always so nice to her, not that she deserves that! ahh, she says im adopted, i say ok. she calls me shart, i say ok...omg, im living as though i have no mouth of my own, no say in anything anymore, and all because i want to give my mum and dad a break from hearing us fight all the time, unlike my sister i dnt scream and shout and cry wen she does something to me, so it seems as though she does nothing, instead she hurts me so much inside, and im working on it, working on not letting the stuff she says get to me, its not at all easy.
i take the blame for things i dnt do, things i do do. haha DO DO! :L
anyways, i listen to my friends as always, and i wont stoop down to her level, jst let it go.. let her have her way...
ttly <3
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
wooosh..
mann, i cannot believe that wen we got back to school it will be term 4, of 2009!
OMG this year has seriously gone so fast, funny thing is that i remember so much that happened this yr.. and a lot has happened. its pretty cool how much you can do in a day, or even in a year.
haha, on thursday wen a few of my friends came over, we did so much, we were tired but we had so much time to spare, it was so weird, and the more time we had, the more things we thought of doing :L it was awsome, jst lyk this yr. although this year has had its ups and downs.. then again, what yr doesnt..
still, i cant believe it, haha. and these holidays have been awsome so far, lyk really. this year too, a lot of changes..good and bad. but really, this year has been on hecktic year, lyk really. when i mean so much happened, i mean it. haha a lot has happened in general, lyk around the would, local, national... blah blah. haha
i lost my train of thoughts coz i looked outside and i saw the clouds are clearing :) and and, the sky is BLUE AGAIN! hehe, so happy to see this sunny weather :)
well, i forgott what i was mean to say so, i'll jst leave it there :) hehe, ttly. and enjoy your life to the max ;)
OMG this year has seriously gone so fast, funny thing is that i remember so much that happened this yr.. and a lot has happened. its pretty cool how much you can do in a day, or even in a year.
haha, on thursday wen a few of my friends came over, we did so much, we were tired but we had so much time to spare, it was so weird, and the more time we had, the more things we thought of doing :L it was awsome, jst lyk this yr. although this year has had its ups and downs.. then again, what yr doesnt..
still, i cant believe it, haha. and these holidays have been awsome so far, lyk really. this year too, a lot of changes..good and bad. but really, this year has been on hecktic year, lyk really. when i mean so much happened, i mean it. haha a lot has happened in general, lyk around the would, local, national... blah blah. haha
i lost my train of thoughts coz i looked outside and i saw the clouds are clearing :) and and, the sky is BLUE AGAIN! hehe, so happy to see this sunny weather :)
well, i forgott what i was mean to say so, i'll jst leave it there :) hehe, ttly. and enjoy your life to the max ;)
hey there :)
lol, omg i have to share my awsome holidays so far, it will take a while and im not bothered to say it all but i shall start. haha.
it started on wednesday night, i went to watch fame, in gold class with my family. it was pretty good :)
then on thursday my friends, vianca, abby and angelica came over. mann did we have a crazy time. did so much, to long to go into detail and im tired so ima cut it down. haha, skip the details. thursday night i was at ness', i slept over. haha pretty fun :)
friday went to the city, for the first time without an adult :) yayy mee, haha. i went with matt and ness :) it was fun, even though it rained..
haha, we watched UP in 3D, that was pretty cool, i really lyked it. haha, then wen we got home to ness' place vianca was there and matt, vianca, ness and i walked to star bucks and got something then walked home, matt went home and angelica was at ness' wen we got there. then agbby came later. i forgot what we did next, lol jst watched movies, fought over where we were all gna sleep. haha, we ate and we laied under the stars, taking pics. haha freezing our asses off :L and then went inside, took more pics. had so much fun.
saturday, wanted to sleep more but vianca kept hitting and jumping on me. haha, i moved from the floor onto ness' bed, angel and vianca got up early.. well earlier than ness and i. haha, they went for star bucks while ness and i slept, they also played a bit of basketball. haha, could hear them from the room. we ate breakfast, packed up. lazed around and then went home, ness droped me home and after she left i walked into my house, and OMG found my god mother from America standing in my tv room! :O i was so surprised. haha, then that night after mass, we went to my cousin's place for dinner, haha spent my time there playing with my cousins and talking on msn. haha i made a new friend ;)
and ye, haha that was my awsome week one of holidays :D
sunday, today we have guest over from new castle, i really wna watch one tree hill but vianca has it, and im not sure when im gna see her next, hopefully before the end of the holidays :) and ye, helped out around the house since my dad and siste arent here.
deandra's at a twilight convention.. :L and my dad, he's on florida.. on business. haha i wna go, yay i might be going america in june next yr, its my god mother's 50th and shes my mums eldest sister, so its a big thing. haha i hope, and if we have enuf or it will jst be my mum, but i really wna go! haha.
next week of holidays, will be a bit different. my mums at home, we will all be getting ready for my grandmother's 80th bday party on friday, gna be real busy. i still plan on sleeping in, watching late movies, the usual but also tryna get my holiday hw done, i dnt even have that much to do but ye :)
and then saturday, the 17th is my friend Gabby's 15th bday! i dnt even think i can go to her bday outing thingo during the week :( but then on sunday im gna see her, and ness as well. were doing walk for diabetes ;) its gna be fun, haha it better not rain --'
anyways, id better go.
maybe i'll blog a little later?
haha, have a lovely day ;)
it started on wednesday night, i went to watch fame, in gold class with my family. it was pretty good :)
then on thursday my friends, vianca, abby and angelica came over. mann did we have a crazy time. did so much, to long to go into detail and im tired so ima cut it down. haha, skip the details. thursday night i was at ness', i slept over. haha pretty fun :)
friday went to the city, for the first time without an adult :) yayy mee, haha. i went with matt and ness :) it was fun, even though it rained..
haha, we watched UP in 3D, that was pretty cool, i really lyked it. haha, then wen we got home to ness' place vianca was there and matt, vianca, ness and i walked to star bucks and got something then walked home, matt went home and angelica was at ness' wen we got there. then agbby came later. i forgot what we did next, lol jst watched movies, fought over where we were all gna sleep. haha, we ate and we laied under the stars, taking pics. haha freezing our asses off :L and then went inside, took more pics. had so much fun.
saturday, wanted to sleep more but vianca kept hitting and jumping on me. haha, i moved from the floor onto ness' bed, angel and vianca got up early.. well earlier than ness and i. haha, they went for star bucks while ness and i slept, they also played a bit of basketball. haha, could hear them from the room. we ate breakfast, packed up. lazed around and then went home, ness droped me home and after she left i walked into my house, and OMG found my god mother from America standing in my tv room! :O i was so surprised. haha, then that night after mass, we went to my cousin's place for dinner, haha spent my time there playing with my cousins and talking on msn. haha i made a new friend ;)
and ye, haha that was my awsome week one of holidays :D
sunday, today we have guest over from new castle, i really wna watch one tree hill but vianca has it, and im not sure when im gna see her next, hopefully before the end of the holidays :) and ye, helped out around the house since my dad and siste arent here.
deandra's at a twilight convention.. :L and my dad, he's on florida.. on business. haha i wna go, yay i might be going america in june next yr, its my god mother's 50th and shes my mums eldest sister, so its a big thing. haha i hope, and if we have enuf or it will jst be my mum, but i really wna go! haha.
next week of holidays, will be a bit different. my mums at home, we will all be getting ready for my grandmother's 80th bday party on friday, gna be real busy. i still plan on sleeping in, watching late movies, the usual but also tryna get my holiday hw done, i dnt even have that much to do but ye :)
and then saturday, the 17th is my friend Gabby's 15th bday! i dnt even think i can go to her bday outing thingo during the week :( but then on sunday im gna see her, and ness as well. were doing walk for diabetes ;) its gna be fun, haha it better not rain --'
anyways, id better go.
maybe i'll blog a little later?
haha, have a lovely day ;)
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
best friend - off ness :)
1. choose five best friends
2. write their name;
3. age; & birthday
4. when yous met;
5. you hate it when they ..
6. you secretly admire ..
7. perfect match for them ..
9. do you plan on keeping in touch with them for the next 10 years ?
10. first impression ..
1. Vianca Cruz
14 turning 15 on 19th January.
we met on orientation day in 2006 :)
i hate it when vianca picks on me :L
sercetly admire her lovely voice ;) haha, when she sings? oh yeaa, haha and her fun to play with knees :)
oh and ur awsome advise :)
perfect match... umm, haha the one and only, lol vianca. keep getting reminded of him ;) raffy boi :L
nope, not just for the next 10 years, FOREVER and ever. friends for life ;) haha.
first impression, i dnt really remember. haha wow this girl is so nice :D i think majelle is her best friend? lol
2. Vanessa Flores
14 turning 15 on 24th Feburary.
also met on orienation day in 2006!
i hate it when you, joke around- ( lyk a lot, not in general :) ), and coz im so smart i take it seriously? :L oh ye, and slaps my legs :L
secretly admire, lol i really dnt know. i admire a lot about vanessa, her personality and responsibilitly most ;)
haha, look after everyone so well :) thanks
perfect match, hmmm. thats hard, im not sure... joseph? haha.
you too are a friend FOR KEEPS, FOREVER AND EVER! promise ;)
i dnt really remember my first impression of you, haha. i was kinda scared of you? :L
3. Angelica Dulawan
14 turning 15 on 20th march.
kinda met sometime in 2007 but really met met you last year :)
hate it when angel pinches me really hard :L haha, kinda hurts..
i admire your tan? haha, i love ur tan, and ur sense of fashion? haha.
perfect match, lol. u have another guy for every day, but im guessing brandon ;) if he's not the guy for you, you will surely find someone more special just for you ;)
definately a friend forever, i will be there for you in the next 10 years and after that too ;)
first impression, again kinda dnt remember, haha. wow, shes so pretty, kinda mean thou :L haha, dw, only the first impression :L
4. Marilyn Bellett
11 turning 12 on 25th April
were cousins, dnt no wen we met? haha family :)
hate it when she hits my stomach when she talks to me :L
secretly admire her sense of humour and talent for music ;)
lol, i dnt really know who the perfect match is for you...? haha.
next 10 years, of course, ur lyk my little sister, haha ima be here for you when ever u need me :)
first impression of my cousin, i really really dno. haha, aww shes so cute?
i dnt really know but i still consider my primary best friend even though we havent seen eachother:
5. Paulina De los Reyes
14 turning 15 on 18th Feburary
met in 2003, we were in the same class?
lol, i seriously dno what i hate about you :L its been so long, kinda hate it how we havent really kept in touch that much? :/
haha, again, i dnt really know what i admire about you, its been really long..
perfect match, i wish i knew. haha, dnt talk to much.. :/
10 years, i sure hope so. :)
first impression, think it was, haha shes so smart and nice, is she a triplet? :L
ALL YOU PEOPLE MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND MORE.. :)
HAHA, YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, INSIDE AND OUT!
love you <3
and i will be here for you all, always and forever? ;)
2. write their name;
3. age; & birthday
4. when yous met;
5. you hate it when they ..
6. you secretly admire ..
7. perfect match for them ..
9. do you plan on keeping in touch with them for the next 10 years ?
10. first impression ..
1. Vianca Cruz
14 turning 15 on 19th January.
we met on orientation day in 2006 :)
i hate it when vianca picks on me :L
sercetly admire her lovely voice ;) haha, when she sings? oh yeaa, haha and her fun to play with knees :)
oh and ur awsome advise :)
perfect match... umm, haha the one and only, lol vianca. keep getting reminded of him ;) raffy boi :L
nope, not just for the next 10 years, FOREVER and ever. friends for life ;) haha.
first impression, i dnt really remember. haha wow this girl is so nice :D i think majelle is her best friend? lol
2. Vanessa Flores
14 turning 15 on 24th Feburary.
also met on orienation day in 2006!
i hate it when you, joke around- ( lyk a lot, not in general :) ), and coz im so smart i take it seriously? :L oh ye, and slaps my legs :L
secretly admire, lol i really dnt know. i admire a lot about vanessa, her personality and responsibilitly most ;)
haha, look after everyone so well :) thanks
perfect match, hmmm. thats hard, im not sure... joseph? haha.
you too are a friend FOR KEEPS, FOREVER AND EVER! promise ;)
i dnt really remember my first impression of you, haha. i was kinda scared of you? :L
3. Angelica Dulawan
14 turning 15 on 20th march.
kinda met sometime in 2007 but really met met you last year :)
hate it when angel pinches me really hard :L haha, kinda hurts..
i admire your tan? haha, i love ur tan, and ur sense of fashion? haha.
perfect match, lol. u have another guy for every day, but im guessing brandon ;) if he's not the guy for you, you will surely find someone more special just for you ;)
definately a friend forever, i will be there for you in the next 10 years and after that too ;)
first impression, again kinda dnt remember, haha. wow, shes so pretty, kinda mean thou :L haha, dw, only the first impression :L
4. Marilyn Bellett
11 turning 12 on 25th April
were cousins, dnt no wen we met? haha family :)
hate it when she hits my stomach when she talks to me :L
secretly admire her sense of humour and talent for music ;)
lol, i dnt really know who the perfect match is for you...? haha.
next 10 years, of course, ur lyk my little sister, haha ima be here for you when ever u need me :)
first impression of my cousin, i really really dno. haha, aww shes so cute?
i dnt really know but i still consider my primary best friend even though we havent seen eachother:
5. Paulina De los Reyes
14 turning 15 on 18th Feburary
met in 2003, we were in the same class?
lol, i seriously dno what i hate about you :L its been so long, kinda hate it how we havent really kept in touch that much? :/
haha, again, i dnt really know what i admire about you, its been really long..
perfect match, i wish i knew. haha, dnt talk to much.. :/
10 years, i sure hope so. :)
first impression, think it was, haha shes so smart and nice, is she a triplet? :L
ALL YOU PEOPLE MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND MORE.. :)
HAHA, YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, INSIDE AND OUT!
love you <3
and i will be here for you all, always and forever? ;)
changes..
its amazing how something can be so scared yet beautiful at the same time?
well, there was a thunder/hail storm, luckily i got home intime before it started, anyways it was pouring down so hard, lyk really hard. kinda got worried that someone might get hurt :/ but i dnt think anyone did? hope not anyway.
well i got a few pics, of the hail storm, before and even after. haha, have u ever wondered how rain falls? i know it sounds weird, but one night when i was outside in the rain, not by choice --' haha i jst stood there, looking up and it was so peaceful, jst looking up at the drops of water falling down, from the sky down to earth, jst wondering, wow mann that looks so pretty, jst looking at it falling down, how can it possibly make sense but it calms you down, ahaha also makes u sick standing in the rain.
lol atm, i feel so lonley, and i jst got off the phone with vianca... ahh im so lonely, haha no one to talk to, and im so mega bored.. and its only the second, well kinda first day of the holidays. i wna get outa my house, go on an adventure maybe? hopefully..? idno, anywhere but here right now. haha.
having no one talk to me atm, makes me kinda feel as though ive done something wrong? :(
it also makes me miss, well so much.. i jst wish things were better, for everyone. or maybe im jst asking for too much, mann do i need to get out these holidays :L haha.
sorry for all the long/ short posts today, lyk i sed im jst REALLY BORED..
Monday, October 5, 2009
communication..
why does it seem its way way easier to say exactly what u want wen its cyber space or even through a txt msg..?
but when it comes to real life communication, lyk talking in person or on the phone?
idno, it seems way easier and now everything is done via the internet... it is a much easier, much faster way to communicate but is it always the best?
i miss thoes days where, it was always calling someone up, or walking down the street to say hello...jst to catch up, i miss those days...all of them. i wish, oh how i wish that i could relive some of them... :(
i miss some of my friends... how we used to call eachother almost everyday, even though we just saw eachother at school.. it all seems so long ago, and now it seems its almost impossible to talk.. my best friend from primary, lives two houses away from me.. yet i havet talked/seen her in ages.. but we still communicate through fb and msn..
i dnt want it to be hard for me to communicate with my current friends, because its jst way too much fun talking to them in person, nothing can replace that? :D
haha, im even gna start writing letters to my friend abby, so we get that old way of communication back instead of email? haha, sounds exciting? :)
but yes, i feel kinda distant from one of my close friends, i really dnt want to, but i dnt no what to do.. :(
but when it comes to real life communication, lyk talking in person or on the phone?
idno, it seems way easier and now everything is done via the internet... it is a much easier, much faster way to communicate but is it always the best?
i miss thoes days where, it was always calling someone up, or walking down the street to say hello...jst to catch up, i miss those days...all of them. i wish, oh how i wish that i could relive some of them... :(
i miss some of my friends... how we used to call eachother almost everyday, even though we just saw eachother at school.. it all seems so long ago, and now it seems its almost impossible to talk.. my best friend from primary, lives two houses away from me.. yet i havet talked/seen her in ages.. but we still communicate through fb and msn..
i dnt want it to be hard for me to communicate with my current friends, because its jst way too much fun talking to them in person, nothing can replace that? :D
haha, im even gna start writing letters to my friend abby, so we get that old way of communication back instead of email? haha, sounds exciting? :)
but yes, i feel kinda distant from one of my close friends, i really dnt want to, but i dnt no what to do.. :(
boo :)
hey everyone,
lol i thought i might jst post something more bright on my blog coz, well lately it hasnt been that good?
anyways, atm im lyk youtubing people, and omg, haha just changes my mood completely, i jst love it how people that are musically talented chose to share that with everyone :) hehe, its awsome too, hearing them, whether its singing, playing an instraument, composing their own songs... jst so lovely to hear all this isnt it? :)
so, its kinda lyk day one of the holidays, yesterday didnt really count since it was a long weekend. im not too sure what im gna do these holidays, i no this friday im going to my friend, vanessa's pl for a sleepover :) looking forward to that, and sometimes next wk my friends are coming over, for a pincic by our favourite spot, the lake.. hope the weather is good, and i also think nxt week were going to the aquatic centre? mann i really wna go swimming :)
umm, other than that, im gna have fun at home... yay, haha computer, tv and sleep. oh and food too? haha, oh and im starting to go jogging with my friend gabby now, its great how she lives so close to me now :) got some hw to get done too..but thats for later, haha.
haha, wow, i really lyk katbadar, shes such a good singer, lyk her vocals are lyk wow. and her personality too, u can see, so bubbly and happy.. hhaa, and then wen she sings jst ye.. :)
aww, right now, i feel so helpless. and i wish i could do soemthing about that, its the holidays i know, but a lot is going on..
ahh, well..
so i guess i will ttly ;)
once again have a lovely day
lol i thought i might jst post something more bright on my blog coz, well lately it hasnt been that good?
anyways, atm im lyk youtubing people, and omg, haha just changes my mood completely, i jst love it how people that are musically talented chose to share that with everyone :) hehe, its awsome too, hearing them, whether its singing, playing an instraument, composing their own songs... jst so lovely to hear all this isnt it? :)
so, its kinda lyk day one of the holidays, yesterday didnt really count since it was a long weekend. im not too sure what im gna do these holidays, i no this friday im going to my friend, vanessa's pl for a sleepover :) looking forward to that, and sometimes next wk my friends are coming over, for a pincic by our favourite spot, the lake.. hope the weather is good, and i also think nxt week were going to the aquatic centre? mann i really wna go swimming :)
umm, other than that, im gna have fun at home... yay, haha computer, tv and sleep. oh and food too? haha, oh and im starting to go jogging with my friend gabby now, its great how she lives so close to me now :) got some hw to get done too..but thats for later, haha.
haha, wow, i really lyk katbadar, shes such a good singer, lyk her vocals are lyk wow. and her personality too, u can see, so bubbly and happy.. hhaa, and then wen she sings jst ye.. :)
aww, right now, i feel so helpless. and i wish i could do soemthing about that, its the holidays i know, but a lot is going on..
ahh, well..
so i guess i will ttly ;)
once again have a lovely day
FAH.Q!
OMFGG, i swear stupid swine flu, if it wasnt for that my idiotic sister would be in japan right now, but no, instead she is going to make me go crazzy! omg i swear i dnt think i can take a whole two weeks of this --'. no joke i was jst about to lose it and go off swearing at her! ahhh :@ pisses me off so frkn much.... >:l
NOT FUNNY, sometimes its alright, big woop, omg shes in yr10 and now all of a sudden she gets the rights to do whatever she wants, i dnt think ima come outa this alive, or sane >< haha, sounds gay but shes so annyoying --' ahhh.....
NOT FUNNY, sometimes its alright, big woop, omg shes in yr10 and now all of a sudden she gets the rights to do whatever she wants, i dnt think ima come outa this alive, or sane >< haha, sounds gay but shes so annyoying --' ahhh.....
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