omg!

okay. how cool does this look. haha,

i found this thingo and im like okay lets try it out if its gna help me make the collage quicker. and omg it looks so cool. but u cant exactly see all the pics clearly. maybe i'll do another on or try another site but im so facinated by it. haha it amuses me :)

im so bored!
and i miss my friends!
lol. havent seen of talked to some of them in a while.
the last friend i talked to was ness, last night and kinda this morning. :(

so lonley and this weather is pulling me down.

lol. looking through the pics of this year. i think im bothered to make a collage. haha. and then i'll put it up here.

okay at least i have something to do now..ima go do that. its gna be big and full of memories <3

to do with friends list: ONE DAY.......

•run down a random street with ness, singing a random song loudly:L haha that'll be fun;)
•have a sleepover at a friend's place(Y) with lyk all fun and games
•go on a camping trip with friends - kinda. with school. but we need a real real one :)
•go out to the city without adult supervision :O
•take ness to olympic aquatic centre for the first time:L haha
•meet bestfriends from primary (Y)
•do amazing race at the city or any other place with friends
walk around woodcroft with ness, in the rain. but not pouring down --' haha.
go beach



still more to come but i forgot a few. ness u no wot im talking about?remember how i sed i would make a post on the one day things coz everytime i sed something ur lyk ONE DAY... well i forgot some so if u remember please let me know. lol. thanks :D

so this was made on the 27.5.09. and ive done a lot of these. and have more to add on for 09.
mainly a list of ONE DAY things to do with ness. :)
(in bold what ive now done)

Souls of the faithful departed. rest in peace.

no matter how old, or how young, you can never really get over the death of a loved one. today begins the Holy season of Christmas! a day for family to get together.. a lot of people went to visit their family members who have passed away. its so sad but its life.
people were crying so much, some had christmas trees at the grave, others decorated it with tinscel and cards. praying so much, talking to this dear loved one that they have lost. although they are now in the Kingdom of God, looking down upon those who they have left behind..
there are always those questions, why us? why did this have to happen? why now? WHY?
so many people were at the cemetery, forest lawn in cambelletown. we prayed for those departed sould..may they rest in peace.

it hurts to remember..the times you have had with this lost loved one. makes you miss them even more.
but it hurts even more to forget, your time with that loved one. how much they did for you and how much you wish they were still here..

it hurts even more knowing that they are gone..
so we remember those who we love, for good and the bad.?

i miss..

.. those thursday afternoons where we would jst chill.
haha. go for a walk to the lake, talk, make puzzles :L haha. jst have fun :)
seems so long ago that we all did that.



.. all those years that have gone by so quick, didnt take the time to make it count..



.. haha. those random afternoons where everyone who could come, crashed my place and we'd jst eat and have fun. .. no matter where we were, or what we did. whenever we were altogether, we always had so much fun.



.. those days where, everything WAS simple and easy to understand.

..when everyone was happy. period. (nothing really got in the way of this happiness..)

..when we all felt more complete, knowing what we were meant to do and who we are.

..when christmas felt like christmas. the true meaning and even the season of giving.

..the people who meant so much to me, and now it feels like they just walked out.. :(

..the big influences in my life..

well im sure we all miss so much more..

change. 2010 :)

okay. my friends.
ive personally noticed, towards the end of the year, how much ive changed. and i dnt like the person ive become, not as much as the better person i used to be, and i know i still can be :)

so 2010. one of my new years resolutions..
2010 will be my academic year! ima try my hardest and i know i can do it! :)

change, be a better person, a preson i know i'll be more proud to be. i will still be me, but less attitude towards my parents, and less temper tantrams! its kinda hard for me, with the family i have but i know i can at least try.

umm. idno what else. i guess. make myself proud and be all i can be, im tried of always trying to do it for my parents. this time its going to be for me!

also, i guess. taking time to admire and appriciate everything, my friends. most of them are leaving mcauley after yr10. going to other schools and atm im staying coz im not bothered looking..also next year i have to make the effort to do things.

lol. be more active. in every aspect of my life. with my faith..and yeaa!

haha. thats all i can think of for now, but im looking forward to next year. gna learn from all my mistakes this year and improve for next! haha.
<3

dearest angel,

naww angelica. im missing you already.
haha. every time i pass woodcroft maccas or that spot near the lake i always think of you and the awsome time we had. just laughing our heads off, at the wrond things. haha. mann did we have fun that afternoon. :) so many memories..

angel, ive realised towards the end of the year, haha i spent so much time with you. as it was just u and i wen you came over, that time you also slept over. lol had so much fun talking, laughing, running down my street from eating too much, and then you falling asleep on me..haha while i was still talking to you --'
lol the theropy couch in my living room, mann do we leak a lot over there. haha. omg playing wii at night, boxing and tennis. and lol did i beat you in bowling :L naww. so much fun :)
haha. you doing my hair --'

woo. the good times just keep rolling with you dnt they? haha. and im so excited to do soccer with you next year too. :)

naww. i feel lyk talking to you atm. idno why. haha. cheer me up maybe? idno why im feeling down, and i no even you have those moments, and then you msg me and let it all out :) love listening. and always will. haha.

so your on your amazing adventure. to the phils, with your lovely family. having an awsome time im hoping. from the last convo u and i had before you left, i hope you packed all the right stuff you needed. haha. just incase clothes too. ;) and dw, take risks in the phils angel, and dnt be scared to try new things. haha. but be careful at the same time :)

naww i love you angel. and i wish and hope that you and your whole family have a very merry christmas and a happy new year.

take care. and look after yourself.
love always,
ninoshka <3

hope is like the rainbow on a rainy day..

it seems now days arent as short.
they feel long. boring. dull. and well..the sky is grey. it seems. as always as though it is blocking the light everyone is so desperately looking for.?
really. what happened to those days, where even when the sun wasnt shinning, we found something to laugh or smile about? what happened to those days were. idno. everything was so simple..

..it seems that when we stopped looking for that extra something that makes us happy. we stop caring about the me in life. we give up on ourselves. we give up on the hope that we know is there, it just has to be found.
why does it seem that the times when we struggle the most. when we cry out the loudest. we feel as thou no one is listening? we feel as thou no one is willing to make the effort to save us and help us find that extra something on a cloudy, grey day that makes us so happy. so different..?

hope is like a rainbow on a rainy day.. you know its gna be there after the storm, you just have to look hard enough to find it?
hope like a rainbow..is never lost, just hidden in the most obvious place..?

(lol idno why but i had to share. something jst on my mind and yeaa. its a dull day today..)
woahh. i swear thats weird! i didnt even read that image properly but liked what the beginning said, i uploaded it and then read it. and it so relates, and i didnt even realise! haha. thats cool? :)

made my day..better :)

haha. so my mum's on my dads facebook atm talking to one of our good family friends, still living in dubai and lyk she remembers me as a baby haha and said ive changed so much and lol she loves my smile? :D
hehe. idno but when i get a compement on my smile, idno? haha. just makes me smile more than usual? :) haha. shes having so much fun. my mum that is :L naww. haha shame almost everyone living in dubai is filo. that could have influenced me, wen i was 3. my mums filo friend lynn, she sang me a song from pocahontas <3 naww. she was a beautiful singer, i can never forget that! haha. and yeaa! mann i wna visit soon. even thou it will be expensive, i wna know and see more of my birth place. and lyk do all the things i did when i was still a baby. so i can actually remember them. i do remember some events but not a lot :(

<3 haha

moving on.. :L

lol. so many people on blogspot moving to tumblr. and one of my friends, haha jerrica was fully telling me. its so much better, you can lyk follow people from all over the world and that :) haha. its so much better. just get tumblr already.
haha dw bloggers. i dnt think i'll be moving to tumblr anytime soon. or maybe if i get bored and am bothered making one i will, haha for fun? :L although i really do lyk the reblogging thingo :) haha.
and im having fun with my new findings of changing the background thingo :L
im so sad.. haha.
mann i was so pissed before, i kinda still am but my lovely friend vianca is helping. i really really dnt lyk deandra. the only sister i have is marilyn. and brothers noel and dexter :)

<3

.. no wait. lol. looking through peoples tumblr i think i might just make one. and follow more people. but im jt gna play around with it for now. haha. im not gna abandon blogspot! ;)
oohh. haha this is gna be interesting.

FAIL! D:

you knwo whats worse than other people disspointing you?
.. you disspointing yourself!

faa. i really did try this term. it hurt so much to move down in english classes, from advance to standard but then frkn hell! getting this report hurt even more. theres not a single frkn grade to smile about. i frkn tried so much, so hard to move back up. and even worse, instead of doing better, i did worse! :'(

i was so sure, sure that i would get a good report. and i no, its not the end of the world. but it is something i have to show my parents. and i know i CAN DO BETTER. only, what they see is the frkn letter on a piece of paper. mann. im so pissed, at myself. i could have done so much better, but noo. i didnt did i? :l
i no i need to try harder, i no i can do better. and i WILL. next year. omg. and this report will give my mum even more reason to get tutoring --' for science, english and math! and i dnt want to. im gna be so busy next year, coz im even signing up for soccer with angelica! :) im excited about that, ive wanted to join ever since my cousins started playing, and that was lyk in 2002 or 2005? but yeaa. finally. haha.

and now im kinda worried, my mum too will be disapointed and well. i hoped that i would be able to go out these holidays. on friday too. and omg on thursday is my sisters 16th bday party. even thou her bday is in january, its just coz everyone is elsewhere --'

dispointment surrounds me..once again. only difference is that this time, its my fault.. :(
great way to end my school year of 09 isnt it?

change.

lol. i tried to change the look of my blog.
it kinda worked, the theme thingo i used was fully pink. --'
so that had to be changed, so i jst coppies something else and now its grey. i dnt mind it, but i dnt want my blog to seem dull? haha. so yeaa! ive got to work on changing that. but i like the layout thingo.

jst wanted to share. haha :)
<3

holidays..

ima set some goal these holidays, and hope to get most of them done..

.im gna try go jogging, if not everyday at least every second day, i need to get into shape --' lol
.uhh i wna go out as much as possible, lol i dnt really wna stay home that often, although i doubt my mum will let me go out everyday. and im broke too.
.read. lol finish those books ive started.
.to save, but also spend- reasonable amounts? ;)

lol. there are a few things i plan to do these holidays! im already excited, and shocked at how fast 09 went! lol. i was reading old mail and letters and stuff, from lyk last holidays..seemed lyk it was ages away..
im so excited for our christmas vacation! :)
only thing is..4 more school days, with work to do --'

wish list.

Dear Santa,

ive been a good girl this year, i promise :)

• and this year for christmas i wish for..
  the ability to learn how to spell --' im kinda having trouble, and now its embarassing. lol.
  
• my aunty to come visit..i miss her!


• money, please! :)
  
• for everything to be alright again, better, for everyone, and with everything! <3


• for some reason, i would like legos? haha. i find them so interesting? :L


• happy times, lyk they used to be! :(
• a job.. lol even thou ive applied for none --'

okay.. maybe these things are just wishes in general, not that they are very materialistic but well, things i really want..not all the things, coz well. i dnt wna share everything. haha

<3.>

..on another note..

lol. so i was on the phone with my friend vianca right. talking about stuff. and then about the holidays, and her bday. and shes lyk ur gna miss my bday bash..coz im going to whitt sundays? :) but im only going for 3-4 days? and i wont be missing her bday! haha. im lyk how can i miss it? ur never here for your bday, and shes lyk ye. last yr i wanst here but the year before that i was. and then im lyk, well then i wasnt really your friend :( haha. but then shes lyk ye you were, and im lyk noo i wasnt. haha and she was lyk ohh yeaa! you werent..
lol. then i sed, wow. see lyk two years ago, i didnt even really know you :(
haha. and shes lyk, took you long enough. to find us. haha. mannn you've been missing out..
and ye mann. i have been missing out..to think it was only two years ago that i was still getting used to the fact of starting new, trying to make new friends. and then i found them, and damm did i miss out, but now that i have found them..i couldnt be happier! <3 hehe. love them all.
made me realise, how close we all got, in almost, what seemed lyk such a short time.. pretty amazing aye? and made me realise..realise that we have come a long way, and im glad for most of my experiences on my journey through high school. haha. so many great memories

haha. love you all, and love you vianca <3
ive missed out, and now i no longer have to. i too, cant realy imagine high school without you.

opinions..

alright, so today we found out that this year 10 is the official last yr10 at mcaluey to be having a yr10 formal.

now, when i heard this i was kinda upset. but i think people in our grade are over reacting too much. lyk i no everyone has their own opinion and that, and it should all count. but taking into consideration, the reason for canceling it, it seems so reasonable right? people dnt even think. lyk i know, for a fact that i didnt even consider that as a factor of why this had to happen. and yes yes, im in the same grade as all you guys, i too feel that its always us, we are the one to make the sacrifices, but arent we mature enough to realise why this happened, and that we arent the only ones to loose a formal. all the yr10 students after us, after 2009 wont be getting one either, and yea it seems real unfair that this years yr10 get one, and that were next, but lyk mrs wilson said, its gotta start somewhere, and we should be mature and responsible enough to take it well.

its only yr10 formal, we still get one in yr12. the one that truely matters. but wait. not everyone thinks about that, yea were all so keen on planning our own, but why should we blame poor mrs wilson, shes only the messanger. im sure she wouldnt do this too us..

we all think differently right? have our own opinion. well when i heard, after seeing everyone go off at mrs wilson, i was thinking and kinda even said, we still go to the beach. it shouldnt even matter what we do, how we do it, or were we have it, just who were with. and thats what the formal should be all about, the people were with, our loved friends. who says we cats have a picnic at the beach and not call that fun, mann im looking forward to it. why not, i'll be with all my friends, and year group, we'll ALL be there. spending a day together at the beach. why cant people see that, see that its not all about wearing fancy expensive dresses, lyk i wouldnt mind. i too would love to have a formal..but i wouldnt make such a big deal out of whats happened. maybe a bit, but not as much as people are.. or maybe thats jst me? idno. all i know is that after a while, after thinking about what the purpose of the yr10 formal is all about, most people will hopefuly be able to realise the reason its cancelled..

i did say what i was thinking, and i do lyk to express my opinion, just lyk everyone else. but when i got the reactions i did, after saying that. i jst thought, shutting up would be best.. i dnt want everyone pissed at me, just because im not making a big deal of this situation.. now i would be that pissed too, if there was a different reason, lyk due to the behaviour of osme of the students in our grade, but doesnt it sound fair and reasonable that its cancelled. im not saying that im happy about it, but just try to understand the people, the students that do need this, take into consideration everyone in the form, not just you and your friends..

mann if i knew i would get the sort of reactions i did, i wouldnt have said a thing.. :/