bad day:(

today was not exactly the best day, im so sick. at home. all alone. and now i think im getting better which is awsome, i miss my friends but at least the weather isnt depressing anymore.
the sun is out and the sky is blue and i think also cloudless? mann im in so much pain right now, wen i sneeze a cough comes out too and then my eyes start watering lyk a river. :(
i hate being sick. and lol the whole morning i was being called and msged and i dnt know what was going on. my tummy hurts now too, i was in bed most of the day, and listening to the radio and ooooochh! my joints and mucles hurt, i needed to stand everytime i coughed it hurt too much sitting down. ah wot a bad day.
lol and then wen i was having a shower, i was singing and lyk all these different songs, then i sang 'bad day' lol i no most of the words coz of sing star:L
and then wen i got out of the shower it was a BEAUTIFUL DAY! haha another song from sing star. for some reason, every morning that it is a lovely sunny day wen i wake up i start singing....its a beautiful day in my head. hhaa. oh im so weird! :L
anyways i did nothing today, i slept and msged a lot but no work. ah wen will i learn to manage my time.
i wanted to go to school today but in the morning i realised what good would i do if i make my friends sick too? aaaaaaaaaaaaaachuuu! :(
*cnt see what im typing. eyes so watery :'(*
anyways. i shall go now.
<3

all nighter;)

lol. OMG i had the most maddest, AWSOMEST weekend everr!
it was my 14th birthday party and to celebrate i had a sleepover with my friends. 10 had come and omg did we have fun! lol started off with some sing star and battling eachother. haha my friends are so super duper talented in the music area, singing, guitar, piano, drums u name it they can play it? well most things anyways. haha. well we actually did do an all nighter, 5 of my friends, nessa, vianca, angelica, abby and prisley slept over and omg! we had so much fun. lyk seriously fist we ate a lot with eveyone else but as it got round 11pm and the people who weren't sleeping over started to go home we watched movies and then played chubby bunny and with glow sticks, a few broke and spille, luckily not a lot. and took pics, and more pics oh yee and even more pics! haha. gotta love thoes photographic memories. oh ye and after getting scared to walk upstair by our selves, thoughts of micheal jackson we brushed our teeth so me wouldnt pigg out anymore on lollies, chocloate and other junk and we made our beds. lmao, mann vianca and angelica are so crazy, when i was getting the bed stuff down stairs vianca sat ontop the quilt and she made me pull it so she would slide down the stairs on her bumm! that was hilarious coz even angel joined in, hard to pull but seeing them slide down:L too funny. later on as in lyk past midnight, the fun really started, after watching one movie we still dnt want to go to sleep and decided to watch another on, only it was a bit boring,'he's just not that into you'. ye i no, but some parts were alright, then i tried so hard to fall asleep, nothing was happening so i dnt bother and i just stayed up too. lucky angel, she was fast asleep and lyk snoring too, she's so cute! haha. and we decided to take a picture with her wen she was sleeping, she woke up and stayed up to. wen it got to lyk 3.10am, lmao abby, school finishes? there was nothing to watch as no one wanted to watch movies so we took more pics and lol wen some of us moved, the people sleeping on the floor kicked them off and slept on the bed/futon thing. it was so funny. took a few more pics with everyone, all 6 of us on one double sized bed, pretty cosy but squishy. haha. we really did have so much fun. mann pris and nessa, went so high, just kept on laughing for no reason to break the silience?:L LMAOOO!!! and even if nessa was tired to she and vianca serinated us to sleep, well not to sleep but still beautiful!
I REALLY DO LOVE MY FRIENDS!<3
lol. also a lot of my friends were gassy over the weekend. haha. naww i fel asleep listening to aj singing little piece of home! but we ended up sleeping pretty cosy, 3on the floor and 3 on the bed. we only went to sleep at lyk 4am?:O and surprisingly we woke up soooo soooo early:S lyk at 7.15ish am? and only got 3-5 hrs of sleep, we werent really tired that much. i think i was the first to wake up and then vianca, lol i slept nest to nessa and every time i turned and lyk opened my eyes her face would be right in front of mine! haha. naww she is also very peaceful and cute wen she sleeps. haha.
but now omg! we are all so tired, lyk really. nessa left lyk 30mins ago but fell asleep here while doing her math h/w. naww nessa. haha. ur so cute x)
but ye. mann i had the best bday ever! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL MY FRIENDS FOR HELPING ME CELEBRATE MY 14TH BIRTHDAY! LOVEYOUUU!<3

lalala

lmao. i have found joy in something so sad, haha nessa. solitare, its awsome. but i found a way to cheat, not that its that hard but i found out you can undo as many times as you want, meaning, its lyk a rewind so if u made the wrong move, 'undo' and ur back to having everything running smoothly. haha.also its lyk you can undo, so you dnt forget where one particular card you want or need is. haha. its so cool, im so sad.:L and coz im really gay i undid my whole game and lmao, its so funny. haha my computer makes this cool card noice when u more the cards and wen its in reverse, or undo then it goes so fast and looks and sounds so cool.;)
anyways, i wanted to share with you today my pretty wonderful day:D
ok today was pretty normal except for that fact that many of my friends were away, hahah. but all my subjuects were alright, and recess and luch was pretty cool, and musical. all my friends are so talented in the music area! my lovely friend nessa brought in her guitar and everyone passed it around through the day and played songs and sung, so beautiful! anyways now to sport, tennis is so much fun with my friends, i swear i laughed so much during sport my tummy hurt and i couldnt even stand straight. one of my friends leslie was so so lyk super high, my other friend mary-anne kept hitting the coach guy with the balls as she threw them back to the basket thing, yo was laughing with me. haha one was missing though, vianca. but ye, sport was awsome!
then it was time to go home, normally on a thursday my friends would come over and we would walk to the lake, sadly that dnt happen.
i also had the most lonliest train ride home, i never really reaslised how long it is from westmead home coz there was always something interesting going on with my friends or we'd just talk. but when ur all by yourself, its so sad and quiet and you just wait till its your stop:(
its lyk that saying, 'you never really know how much you've got untill you have nothing at all'?
i think it was something lyk that, i ddnt realise how much a difference it makes if your alone, which i dnt really lyk all that much or with your friends on a train ride home, when there's no one there anymore. so i thought i would end my day bad by having that horrible ride home, but then, we had to walk home and as i started to i got this msg from my primary bestie, Paulina. asking me if i wanted to go to the field. well i must go, will finish this later. going shopping. yay to get all the food for my party!:D

lost?:S

losing someone very close or special to you is a very dificult thing to go through, for everyone.
a few weeks ago one of my beloved friends had something happen to her, this gave all my friends and i a real scare. as soon as i had heard the news walking upto the station after school, something inside of me just stopped. i got this really weird, sad, bad feeling in me and i got so worried about my friend. had so much running through my head, i dnt know what to think. i was so worried i even started to pray that nothing would happen to my friend and that she would be alright. anyways, thankfully she was alright.
today i got that same feeling, only it wasn't as serious as it was before. today in jap, another friend friend of mine said something, as a joke and wen i heard it, even though i knew she was joking i got that same feeling. i really wasn't sure why i even got it?:S well ye, so i had that same feeling but not the same thoughts at all, obviously not as the situations are totally different but i started to wonder why do i suddenly get this strnage feeling go through me when i hear something like that?
i think i know why i got that feeling, especially for my friends, its never happened beofre, the first time was that day with my beloved friend, and the scare all my friends got but today? idk.
the feeling was as if..... I HAD LOST A FRIEND?:(
i even felt lyk crying, and again, i knew that my friends were joking so idky that happened?:(
but as i do mention a lot, i really treasure my friendships and i would never want to lose a friend, if i get this feeling if something little happens to a friend imagine if something more major and serious happened!:(
i really dnt know what i would do. anways for some weird reason, right now and ever since going home on the train i have been feeling in a not so happy mood? idk....

oh well. id better get going with my english. i plan to finish it today;)

Dearly missed:(

well, so much is going on right now. everything seems fine with everyone and im so glad for that, the days seem to be getting shorter? or just going really quick. i love the weather at the moment and the lovely blue sky with white puffy clouds:D
i also LOVE my friends. haha mann im so lucky to have met my friends. but only, i can't stop thinking of my best friend in primary, Paulina. idk why but atm i keep remenising about our years of primary and omg we seriously did everything together and i mean everything, from sitting to eachother in class, doing group assignments together to walking around the playground at recess and lunch talking. i really miss that, it went from seing my BFFL everyday to now, not seeing her at all. and i just can't help to miss the things we used to do together, not that im saying anythings wrong with my friends, i just miss my friend Paulina thats all. its so wierd at the same time though, i wish we had still kept intouch more, she lives on my street but i hardly see her. its none of our faults, we are all so busy and well i can't wait till my assignments are done, handed in and forgotten about. really, i need time to breath and just think? i have so much to think about. i spoke to my awsome friend a few days ago, Nessa. saying how i dnt want to forget anymore, especially the important stuff. if i forget little things, i guess its alright, coz then it just comes to me at random things? haha nessa, "it just hit me in the face!"
but im not to worried, if i can remember what i did all throughout primary then im sure i will still remember the things i do now with my friends, how can i forget my "FIRST" time things with them? its lyk something i will never ever ever ever forget.
i have more to write as usual but for mow i shall just leave it as....
iloveyounessa. and please don't cry tonight. i will make sure you dnt haha. fart through the phone!
hahaa.
LOVEYOU!:D and please smile!

TALENT!

this is a really good poem written by my 11yr old cousin, she may enter this poem into an english, poetry competition. the theme of this comp is stars. this is what you call talent;)

This is the story of a start named Spice,
who'd twinkle once then twinkle twice.
All her life she was a light,
like a perl that shone so bright.
Out of the darkness and into the blue,
she'd shine her light for me and for you.
Then one day that star had faded,
and her once glowing place and long been shaded.
As time went on that star's light was gone.
But now in my dreams when i sleep at night,
I see the star that was so bright.
She's gone for now but I'll find her soon,
and put her back next to the moon.
By Marilyn.B :D

SAY WAT! ;)

oh i had the bestest friday night, last night!:D
it was the third friday of the month, which meant only one thing to me, youth group is on. i get so excited to go to my youth group as i learn so much and i get to know so many more people, who are not only around the same age as me, well its basically most of the youth from my parish but i get to meet people who are parishiners and who i see at mass. there was something extra special though about last nights SAY WAT (St Andrews Youth, Word And Teaching) and that is, two of my lovely friends Angelica and Vianca came along.
i had such a good time last night, and i believed my friends did too:D
anyways, a goal for me is, to go home from youth, with something that i, as an individual needs to do or change.
we learnt last night that it was the feast of, The Sacred Heart of Jesus. so the reading for friday was broken down and then, the 3 leaders of last nights meeting, yr 12 students talked about their experiences of sacrifice.
so wen we broke down the Gospel for last night, it was all about SACRIFICE and how much Jesus has done for us.
each of the three leaders explained a moment in their lives where they too, lyk Jesus made a sacrifice. one of the leaders talked about their experience of WYD08, and how they were in yr 11 at the time, and WYD was during the 2wk school holidays in which she could study for her exams and maybe even spend some time with family and friends but instead she sacrificed her time to attend WYD, she wasn't the only yr 11 student to go to WYD so she didn't feel so bad as everyone else would also have to cram all the studying into one week. this leader tried to move her schedule around to fit WYD in and she got so much out of it.
wen we got into smaller groups to discuss sacrifice, we were asked to answer a few questions and make an accrostic poem on SACRIFICE. anyways, one of the questions that was discussed was, what other examples of sacrifice is shown in the Bible, other than Jesus dying on the cross. one of the leaders in my group, Raffy knew the answer and i helped him build on it, and omg. i actually never even thought of this example that we talked about,
Moses made a HUGE SACRIFICE, He gave up his time to follow Jesus' instrustions to free the Israelites. right, most people have watched that movie, prince of Egypt? i think its from that, lol i always remember thoes religious cartoons for some reason, they basically explain themselves right? well not only did Moses do that but he TRAVELLED THROUGH THE DESERT FOR FORTY YEARS TO GUIDE AND FREE THE ISRAELITES. THATS IS HOW MUCH MOSES LOVED OUR LORD. ON TOP OF THAT MOSES DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GO TO THE PROMISE LAND(HEAVEN) SO HE FREED THE ISRAELITES AND LISTEN TO JESUS AND SACRIFICED FORTY YEARS OF HIS LIFE FOR JESUS, AND GOT NOTHING IN RETURN.
this point stood out the most for me as, well most people always do something nice or good for someone, but coldhartedly. as they want something in return. i know sometimes i may act this way too but i dnt want to anymore. i want to be more lyk Moses, really more lyk Jesus. and every day i pray, that i will be more lyk Jesus through my, WORDS, ACTIONS AND DEEDS. i lyk every other Catholic and Christian want to walk on the path lead by the Lord, not to recieve anything in return but just to be with God. i wish that i could be more lyk Jesus, i see Jesus through so many people around me and its amazing, because that's what you look at through people and see, how Jesus told us that HE LIVES INSIDE EVERYONE OF US. HE IS THERE FOR US ALWAYS AND THAT WE SHOULD LET THE JESUS SHINE IN US, THROUGH OUR WORDS, DEEDS AND ACTIONS;)
I JUST LOVE MY GOD.
GOD LOVES US SO MUCH HE SACRIFICED HIS ONLY SON FOR US, TO SAVE US! TO SAVE YOU AND ME! TO HELP US HAVE ENTERNAL LIFE, the least we can do it be faithful to Him and follow His Commandments.
i also learn so much from the people around me, all my friends and i see so much in them. the way we all act towards eachother, looking after eachother and thats what we were taught in youth. to look after everyone at youth and that everyone has a good time. i know i always do, and i am so glad and thankful for my Priest, Fr Dave. he is the MOST KINDEST AND AWSOMEST PRIEST EVER, he was the one who started the youth group in our parish of St Andrews and i am so thankful for our youth group. we only just started at the end of last yr and already i have learnt so much more about my faith, and i take away something.
last night, i went home hoping i could make the sacrifices the People in the Bible made for thier love for God and faith, they even sacrificed their own life to shown that Jesus was the Son of God and our SAVIOUR!
another question asked in our groups was, what is our most treasured thing in hte world? it could be anything, and WOULD YOU SACRIFICE THAT FOR A FRIEND? OR FOR GOD? WOULD YOU SACRIFICE YOU TIME TO PRAY, GO TO CHURCH, READ THE BIBLE?
would you lyk the Disciples sacrifice YOUR LIFE for a FRIEND?
i know that i would, my friends have sacrificed so much for me and i would sacrifice my life for them. i would sacrifice my life for God, to show my LOVE and APPRICIATION!:D
i am going to try and remember the accrostic poem my group came up with about SACRIFICE last night:
Sharing and
Caring for
Another without
Recieving anything
In return
Feels amazing and
Incredible because
Christ's love is
Everlasting!

NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU.
tc<3
....RECIEVE THE POWER FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT...

I REALLY HOPE TO GO TO WYD11, MADRID, SPAIN;)

THE MADDESSST BESSTEST EVERRR!;)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO SO SO SO xINFINITY FOR HELPING ME TODAY, NESS YOU ALWAYS SEEM YO GET A MESSAGE AND IMPORTANT LESSON ACCROSS TO ME AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT. YOU HAVE REALLY CHANGED MY MOOD TONIGHT AND WHAT YOU TOLD ME, REALLY WAS AWSOME, LOL ABOUT MY PARTY. I WNA TRY THAT AND MANN,M ITS GNA BE THE BEST! CAN'T WAIT;)
NAWW THANKYOU SO MUCH NESS


ILOVEYOU!

time of......?

ever since saturday i think it was? i've been feeling.....idk. really sad and miserable. i dnt want to use the word depressed coz well, i dnt lyk it. and i dnt want it to be that way.
im usually happy, im happy with my life. nothings wrong....if nothings wrong then WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAYYY???!!
i hate it. im happy but inside i still feel so sad, im scared that it might mean something bad is gna happen but then again, i cnt tell the future. im worried that this thing im feeling isnt going to go away for a while but i miss myself, being happy and laughing. well i still do smile and laugh but not all of me? if u get that:S its lyk someone took a piece of me away and I WANT IT BACK! PLEASE, i cnt live miserable, even if i am. i have to....change whats happening, i dnt even know how it started and i want to know so badly why its happening.
something is wrong, i dnt know what. but im DESPERATE!!! i need to know and fix it, im not me if i dnt smile or feel happy:(
its killing me inside, i want to laugh and smile, i feel lyk it but i dnt. its not translating.
I WANT IT TO STOP! PLEASE< I WANT EVERYTHING TO GO BACK TO NORMAL:(

waste of time? :(

idk. right now i feel so lonley and well, sad i guess. there's no one online to talk to, or msg. all busy and im at home. doing nothing, so i decide to go on my sister's bebo and just see how all my primary friends are, lyk i sed before, i really do want to keep in touch but its not exactly that easy? is it just a waste of time?:S
idk. its so weird, we were once all so close and well, really good friends. promised to be friends forever?
but idk anymore. lyk on thursday, lol my two awsome friends, nessa and vianca came over and we love to go to the lake, to all my friends its 'our special place' and you gotta admit, it is pretty beautiful.<3 and i said i would shout them maccas. so we walked down to the plaza and i bumped into a few primary friends, its seriously been at least a yr since i really met them and well, idk. it was weird, there were my two friends who i love and see everyday and then another two friends, who i haden't seen in a yr or something and well we arent exactly that tight anymore? but i always wondered what i was doing. lyk i no, i really do miss my primary friends but i dnt really need them any more, haha ness, coz now i've really got
THE MOST AMAZING FRIENDS IN THE WORLD!
but i dnt even get why a change in school or something of less improtance lyk that could change so much? im still the same person i guess but just coz we dnt go to the same school anymore means that we can't be that good of friends? i just dnt get it. i've seen one of my friends, when she moved from one school to another, she still kept intouch with her best friend and they are still best friends? idk why it has to be diffrerent?
i should really just focus on the NOW instead of on the THEN or WHAT USED TO BE?
i am so greatful to my friends now and thankful for having them there for me, idk if i can say that the friends i bumped into would do the things that my friends now would do, i dnt think so anyway. we might just say a quick hello and then nice to meet you but there can be more, can't there? idk, mann i feel so.....sad. lyk really and right now the room im in is dark as the light is not on and it looks lyk its gna rain soon.
naww, and seeing all of them in picture from parties and that. idk, makes me miss what was our friendship before. it makes me think, kinda, i guess more about what would have hapened if we were all still the same friends, went to the same school? idk. BUT I WOULD NEVER REGRET GOING TO MCAULEY ANYMORE AS I HAVE THE BESTEST FRIENDS EVER! AND I PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT DO THE SAME THING TO YOU EVERRR!
i really do value and treasure every friend.
i miss our friendship:(

(damnn i did it again, in a hurry to get off the computer i forgot to publish this post so i even forgot what else i had to say--'. im really so tired of forgetting everything.:(
if anyone has a solution to my problem, please let me know, thanks;) )

continuation of (L)..O..V..E?

well in the other post about love i was mostly talking about how much i see it around me, and well, now im going to talk about it in a closer, kinda more personal aspect.
ok, this is mainly for an awsome friend of mine, nessa.
its so amazing and cute to see the effect of what one guy could leave on a girl. there are so mant different emotions, but the main one is that you are always happy, especially when you think of that 'special someone'. right?
well one of my friends is kinda going through the same thing and well, its sometimes kinda sad maybe when you see this happen and well, you think why can't that happen to me or something lyk that. and might even start to feel lyk somethings missing?:S
well i cnt really say, lyk i sed before, i havent experienced this but i can say that watching this happen to my friends and seeing it around me, the way people feel, and smile:D just makes me HAPPY too. and ye, i do wish that, i could have the same thing but its you turn, well i mean it as in lyk ur the lucky one. and to tell you the truth, i dnt really know what im missing out on, other than the fact of the emotions and stuff, lol. but its lyk.....
i do want love. anytime, well kinda:S? but its yours now and wen i see you go through the highs and lows i just can't wait till its my chance. i havent really felt anything lyk that so i dnt no wot to expect, or what its lyk, kinda. from what i see you going through so, STOP SAYING SORRY! lol what are you apologising for?
really?
im not jealous, just a bit but not coz of you, its coz i havent felt that way? you get me? lol. its hard to explain but i dnt get why your saying sorry when your lucky and well, everyone get's a chance and also everyone has their own 'someone special' to look forward to?
haha you are really lucky ness, haha.
naww and ur so cute too.;)
i just love to see my friends happy and i no that you ARE so it doesnt really matter right? but thanks
love you.
and i dnt mean to sound corny or anything but i swear LOVE IS IN THE AIR!!<3 no jk. its happening everywhere. and thats lovely and cute to see.

THANK YOU!

THIS POST GOES OUT TO ALL MY LOVELY FRIENDS.(L)
I am not always someone who appriciates what i've got but one thing i can clearly see is that i am so lucky to have the friends that i do. i just want them to know how much i really appriciate them and how much they've helped me get through a lot and just be there for me when i needed them the most. i am so greatful for everything that you have all done, but most of all for being my friends. i really dnt know how i would have gotten through the first years of high school without you guys to make each and everyday, a day full of laughter:L
i knwo that some of you are going to a different school in yrs 11 and 12 and that will mean next yr will be the last yr at mcauley, i will really miss you all. i know one thing for sure and that is i can count us being friends for many years to come. so ye, haha that was kinda corny but oh well, thats me:L
I PROMISE THAT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU GUYS AND THAT WE WILL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS<3naww, i really hope that nothing comes inbetween our friendships and i knwo for sure that high school will be dull without you all to be there and make it fun. THANKS for being such a good and reliable friend to me. xoxoxo
LOVE YOU

What IF?

Now that are exams are over, i can feel so relaxed and well, its kinda got me thinking now. one particular thing actually, i've been talking to a few of my primary friends as i like to keep in touch with them and on facebook ive been talking to one of my friends. she now goes to SAC but lyk in 2005 or something, wen everyone started to talk about what high school their going to, this friend of mine said that she was going to Catherine McAuley and at that time i dnt know what school that was, all i knew was that everyone was going to SAC and so was i? or so i thought. oh well, in the end she dnt end up going to mcauley and i did. but i dnt regret that any more, im quiet happy with my life at mcauley.;)
anyways, i always wondered what would have happened if i wans't the only one of my friends to go to mcauley and then, particually this girl, if she came to mcauley with me then i bet i would be a totally different person. someone i probably dnt want to be, she's kinda a bad ass now in a way but i definately know who i would hang out with if she did go to the school, probably mjj as my friend kinda reminds me of one of their group members:S
ye, anyways that i think is lyk a problem with me, im always thinking...."What if this happened? or what if....?
im such a what if person, i spend too much time wandering what if and not enough time thinking about whats going on now and stuff:S i'll have to work on that.
oh well, till next time, mann my memory is terrible, i really need to work on that too.(Y)