looking back..

hey,
so as of yesterday i am officially 15 :L
hahhaa. not that it makes a difference but i absolutely am so greatful for my friends and family.
my family for giving me a bday party but esp my amazing friends who really surprised me. and vanessa faith..the brains behind this idea. i still cant believe it! hahhaa. naww but thank you so much! like times a billion :L hahaha.
naww and even reading everyone's letters <3
:D makes me so happy to know.. :)

lmao atm im reading the mannual for the camera you guys got me. and omg. you know that thing we were trying to do, with jumping. it fully tells you when to jump if its on timmer ;D im so facinated and seriously. from the bottom of my heart i thank each one of you guys, a camera isnt exactly that cheap..and you all chipped in for it :') naww. thanks so much! i cant thank you enough. and i will promise to do my best to look after it ;)

well  back photo..i was turing two, i found this pic under some books with a few more baby bday pics of me..i think my mum found them and was looking through them?

but yeaa she saw that i took this picture and explained to me, how the cake looks so sad. like its plain and stuff. this was the year my grandpa died, and we didnt really celebrate my birthday, unlike remembering my 1st and 3rd bday with vids..i dont really remember much but i really wish i did.. :s

but yeaa..they still put the effort, and i still look happy to blow out my candle. and how my family always put up with me, always. i thank you so much for that. and for making yesterday so much more special by being there, and you shouldnt have gone to the trouble but i love you all. and appriciate and wont forget what you did for my 15th birthday.. :)

love you guys :) you really did get me :L good job.

(ps. i was meant to have a pic of me cutting the cake but cant find one from yesterday..ohh well :L) ahhahah.

you make me happy. knowing you are smiling wherever you are :)

well when i tried uploading it it didnt work so i print screened it instead.
this is definately one for my letter box. a very special and important letter, just like the others in that mail box :)

so it arrived

since monday after speaking to my beloved aunty, she told me she would send me a birthday card and letter..well i received it today. went out and opened the mail box hoping it would be there, in the dark i looked through the bills and stuff and there it was.. i knew it was from her :)
and just seeing that, brightened up my not so good day.. well my day was alright. i just wish the weather was better.

anyways. i read the birthday card. but the thing i was excited for the most was the letter.. it made me cry :( so much. omg i love her, my aunty jane.
ima scan it through and yeaa but atm i gotta goo..
but well, her letter made me cry in a good way though. cause i never even knew what she wrote..like this is the first time i heard this..never even knew this happened but before, like ages ago something sad happened to my aunty..long story and i never knew until a few years ago. its so unfair what happened to her but yea, my aunty said.. well i guess you'll see when i post it up.

it makes me so happy to know, even when i was born that i was appriciated..my birthday is on sunday and today my sister said why are your friends coming to celebrate the devils birthday? :( pissed me off so much..but this letter. made me feel so much better, knowing that someone is always looking out for me, without question even though she is half way around the world. that someone has appriciated me since the moment i could breathe on my own, knowing that i meant so much to one person. makes me happy to know, me being in aus and my aunty being in india. i can make her smile and change her mood just by looking at a photo of me :') ive never felt so appriciated before..like no one in my family shows they care so much about me. the words of my aunty.. makes me smiling knowing that i make her smile, even when she wants to cry.

thank you jane for your beautiful letter. i loved it.
love you. i hope you are doing well <3

over all. still if i was upset before..

the highlight of my day today was dancing with angelica. the last dance thingo ever in high school and i was glad to end it the way i did, with angel as my beautiful partner. we even came 2nd place in the waltz ;) yeaa! hahaha. we both couldnt stop smilling when we were dancing, aww love you angel :) ur so funny and so cute. you only just learnt the dance properly today and we were both so suprised to come 2nd. hahahah and we both wanted a metal too :L

thanks for being my awsome dance partner for 2 yrs angel <3
it was fun, and ur hilarious with ur little dance moves and stuff ups :L hahaha aawww.

makes me miss you even more.. :/

and the fact ur not coming to my birthday D: im really sad about that.. but im glad we have soccer. im sure you'll shoot another one, or few in on sunday aye? ;)
ps. thanks for helping with in soccer :L im still learning..still suck a tad. but love watching you play and cheering you on! woo gooo angelicaaaa! rooty hill <3

night :)

i was just about to blog about something really positive until my mum came in telling me if i didnt appologise to my dad he isnt taking me for my game on sunday :(
and freak its my birthday then too. what the hell. he has no respect for me at all and then my mum said he doesnt have to D:
freak im blowing up inside. i didnt want to end the night like this..crying. and upset when i did have a pretty good day. and then going shopping in the car just listening to my parents arguing. makes me so uncomfortable. :'(
now i just wish i wasnt having a birthday party at all. who even cares :(
i hate that i ask for the littlest things or nothing even but when i do its like im asking for the world to stop just for me, i try not to inconvenience anyone. i try to be nice to everyone but i never get that in return. its not like im asking for much, just to be treated the same way i treat others but my dad has a problem with me D: and i have a short fuse with him so it doesnt work.

in the car this is what i was thinking..

dear dada
you tell me stories of me when i was younger. how i always asked you to cally me (carry me) and how you took me places and let me sit in ur shoulders or on ur back for a horsey ride. or walking on ur back to massage you. i dont understand why we dont get a long so much. really it hurts me to know we can argue so much on a daily basis :( makes me cry, to know that half the time i think i did something wrong. or i am the cause of the problem. i watch tv shows and see other fathers, looking after their daughters. sometimes i wish you were still the same man i remember from dubai. but i know your not. so much has happened since then. :'( its not fair the way you treat me. i miss the happy you. the you i hardly even remember from dubai. you are the most angriest, grumpiest man i know. and i wish you werent. you dont respect me and you just tease me. what kind of father are you? i remember buying you father's day presents from primary school, and i remember just a few nights ago watching soccer with you. things are so much more complicated between you and i and i cant handle that. i live with you, and i dont want to. :(

i wish and hope things get better..

good night
from me.

ps. i really hope you find urself..

im getting that feeling in my throat and a headache. i feel like im gna cry :(
but i dnt want to.. uhh why am i so moody atm?

ohh and my hands have been so cold these past few days.. thats not really normal for me :/
whats going on with me? D:

*sigh..

i dont remember much before i moved to australia.. one thing i do remember, even looking through really old pics was that my family was so happy. not saying theyr not happy now but seriously my dad is the grumpiest person i know :( and i remember him being so happy in dubai. yea it was my mum's dream to come here to aus, who's dream isnt? but like, idno what happened? maybe cause in dubai my dad had his younger brother there and here he has no close family. well he's got his aunites and stuff but i guess its not the same? and also my mum said dubai wasnt a good place to bring up a family, i guess i understand that and stuff. im not saying i dnt like my life here..i love it, couldnt be happier but i miss what i remember of dubai. my aunty and uncle on my mum's side lived with or near us. and my dad's brother was there too, and i liked growing up there..i wish i remembered more.
but that one thing is so important to me. knowing that there was a time when my dad was genuinely happy.. :( makes me sad now, cause we dnt get along at all..and when we do its only a matter of time before we start shouting at eachother again.. *sigh.
i wish things were like before..

unexpected :)

naww in a way. that just made my day.
so i was home alone as my dad went to the city and drive somewhere for work and stuff. then the phone rings and hesitant to pick it up i still ran to get it. to my surprise, when i say hello? i hear this voice saying dolly? my aunty calls my sister dolly..i forgot why but yea. and then recognising that voice with a smile on my face i say no, ninoshka. and then my aunty says noshkaa! :) aww. i havent heard my aunty's voice in ages, my aunty jane. my second mother? well yeaa she actually called to speak to my grandma who isnt here but at my cousin's house. so we had a little talk :) aww how i miss jane. *sigh
anyway she said she finally got the letters we send her like ages ago. which was good cause she thought it got lost on the way here D: but then she said she'd call again next sunday for my birthday! :) yaaay cant wait. and she also said she sent me a letter and card..i shall be awaiting it all week. checking the letter box. i like snail mail..you take/put more effort in making a card or writing a letter for someone important and posting it with a little stamp on the right hand corner :) see time=effort which = me smiling :) hahhaa ive already got 2 bday cards :)
so yeaa. aww i miss her, and jane's call was unexpected but i was glad. she even was surprised i was home alone :L hahaha. and that she's watching out for me, all the way in india :L making sure i am safe :) aaww.
well back to work i guess. my aunty is a teacher, hahaha she helped me so much growing up. thank you for that. aww i miss you. wish you were here. hopefully i'll see you for christmas? <3
take care, look after yourself ;)

Day 4; a picture of me smiling..with my teeth ;D

SMILE ;D

boo :)

hahaha i wasnt bothered updating my project or challenge atm, i will do it..later :L hahaha so yeaa. i like this pic. and also my mum bought me this along with other stuff. its so warm, and the picture on it is so cute but its kinda big. lol still good.

hiii! :)

Day 5; share you're favourite recipe

lmao i actually dont know my favourite recipe. i like different things. lots of pastas and yummy deserts. omg omg and spring rolls :L hahaha.

my aunty made something on the weekend. it wasnt a real recipe but it was good.
i think it was just caramalised apples sliced on a tray and on top puff pastery and omg. in the oven. when it comes out it is truely delicious! ;)

(8) the smile on your face lets me know that you need me. there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. a touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever i fall. you say it best when you say nothing at all..(8)

lmao heaps old song but so nice :) hahaha. listening to the cover of it by i forgot who but yeaa. :)

i worry and think too much sometimes.. :/

..

lol so it is noticable, on my face. with my smile wich explains so much to people. hahahah. i dnt know how they see it, but apparently they saw that im much happier now that my mum is here. and yeaa i am :) hahha. lmao but its annoying how she keeps calling me her baby :L yea yea i know. im younger and we get along more than my dad. ohh well.


..okay. here's the thing
well i love my great uncle. he's so cute. hahaha and always laughing. he's got a cute smile and is so nice to me :) hahaha.and im all for helping right. i like to help..and i wish there was hope but idno what to do. my uncle just came to me, with his cute smile and asked my why my dad doesnt like my grandma. and i really dnt know why. i wish i did.. i think he may be jealous that she gets so much of my mum's time? idno? but he whispered to me, you should try get them to make up and sort it out. that sorta thing. hey, im only 14 and im not saying thats stopping me from doing it. and i know, i can try. its something that will make everyone happier but idno how. and i dnt exactly get along with my dad. and well. idno what i can do to help them sort it out. thats for my dad to do. i would try, in small ways. i kinda already do. always telling my dad whats his problem and stuff. he gets pissed at my, but hey. just cause im honest and have the guts to speak up. i dnt like the way you treat nana-mary! okay!

the thing i dnt like is how you make is so loud and clear, that she's isnt welcome here. and that just makes me sad, because she is older than you. you should respect her, she gave birth to my mother. and yes you have a problem with her..but again. thats ur problem, and i know. we are all family. and she is ur family too. you may tease and make unnecessary comments about her, and i dnt like hearing it. yea sometimes i laugh, most times i just tell you to shut up! i would hate to be treated that way, especially at the old age she is at. and i dnt mean to be rud and disrespectful saying she but yea. she may not have been there for my birth, as she was for every other grandchild but that doesnt matter, to me anyway..well i could talk a lot about this topic. this issue. because thats what it is, and i still dnt like it. didnt like it when i was younger and i still dnt like it.

Day 3; oth- lucus scott

 Albert Camus once wrote: “Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.” But I wonder, if there’s no breaking, then there’s no healing. And if there’s no healing, then there’s no learning. And if there’s no learning, then there’s no struggle. And struggle is a part of life, so must all hearts be broken?


- Lucus Scott
season 5. ep 11


Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. The belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision, to ignore or simply rise above the pain of the past. The covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. The celebration of the chance, for two will always be stronger than one. Like a team, braced against the tempest’s of the world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality; only an announcement to the world for feelings long held. Promises made long ago, in the sacred space of our hearts.
- Lucus Scott
season 2. ep 16


Much as some of us fight it, our parents have a mystical hold over us; the power to affect our thoughts and emotions the way only they can. It’s a bond that changes over time, but doesn’t diminish, even if they’re half a world away, or in another world entirely. It’s a power we never fully understand. We’re left only to wonder that when our time comes, what kind of hold will we have on our children?


- Lucus Scott
season 5. ep 4

all quotes and stuff is from fyeahonetreehill.tumblr.com :) 

Day 3

Sometimes when you’re young you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans. Big Plans. To find your perfect match, the one who completes you. But as you get older you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made where simply plans. Because at the end when you’re looking back instead of forward you want to believe you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.


- Lucus Scott

Day 3; favourite song lyrics/quotes

well idno. i have a lot, that i just find at random times. :L
hahaha. but omg. some of my fav songs and quotes are from one tree hill <3 ofcourse. naa its cause some of the words are so true, and easier to understand and that? but idno. i just love them! some are on my blog..like older posts. pretty good. some im just gna post as day 3 yeaa? ;) not all on this post. but yeaa. its only a few :)

Game Plan - Boston Rebels! Experience the heat!

  Boston Rebels! Catch the magic.

  Boston Rebels! Feel the...
Wait a minute. Who writes this?

HAHAH. saying all that with a swollen tongue :L its just really funny :L

Day 2; my day

well today i..

• woke up at 8.30 and got ready to go for a 10am mass at st Anthony, toongabbie. (first morning mass in like forever :L) it is my uncle's birthday
• got ready, had shower, brushed teeth, straightened my hair
• got KFC for lunch after mass :L
• watched tv.
• got a call from angelica saying we won our game today! :D yaya. so proud of our team :)
• went on computer. tumblr. oth oth oth! ;)
• going out for dinner at 6 with cousins to celebrate my great uncle's birthday. eating at blacktown worker's club
• read (attempted to start assignment. not bothered.) :L HAHAHA
• going to bed early to wake up at 6 or 7 to go pick my mama up from the airport :)

thats my day :)

pretty good i think. except i wish i got to play at our game. i miss soccer! but yeaa. hope you enjoyed ur day too ;)

<3

YAYAYAYAYAY!

tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow!
yaaay! im so happy that my mama is coming home :)
hahaha. im starting to feel more like myself. like im so happy atm. and even better. i got a call from angelica giving me the best news ever! WE WONN! hahaha. well rooty hill. she said 5-0 vs glenwood redbacks. im so proud of them. really wish i was there playing, but unfortunately not. but still we won we won! this is only the beginning of our rise again! and the weather outside is beautiful. like its cool  but warm cause of the sun. love love love it :) YAAAY!

im starting to think you like making me cry.. :/

Day one; introduce yourself..

hey. my name is ninoshka :)

nice to meet you.

hahaha :)

• to smile and laugh :)
• explore/ go on adventures
• hugs
• to make a difference
• watching oth and himym ;)  (and other shows too :L)
• to listen
• my friends and family :)
• beautiful days like today
• good weather
• to know whats gna happen next..but at sitll it being a mystery? :L
• talking :L hahaha.
• happy endings :)
• making people smile :)
• the way people share their talents and express themselves through art, music, words and that sorta stuff :)
• a good story.
• lots of things. :)
  to simply be me :D

Dislike

• being blamed for everything
• being judged
• ..fighting
• being alone at times.
• being angry
•  a few other things too. but i cant remember :L

some of the day thingos i dnt really have anything to say or post so maybe i'll skip it? but yeaa.

that was just a few likes and dislikes of mine :)

this will be interesting.. (off tumblr)

Day One: Introduce yourself. List your likes and dislikes.
Day Two: Make a bulleted list of everything that happened in your day.
Day Three: Share your favorite quote/song lyric.
Day Four: Smile! We want to see your teeth today. Post a self-portrait.
Day Five: Share your favorite recipe.
Day Six: Time to face morph: Pick one of the categories.
Day Seven: Provide pictures of 5 celebrity crushes.
Day Eight: Create a bucket list, whether or not your aspirations or rational.
Day Nine: Describe your food consumption today.
Day Ten: Share one of your current favorite tunes.
Day Eleven: List some of your favorite tumblrs.
Day Twelve: Set a goal.
Day Thirteen: Provide the HEX code(s) of your favorite color(s).
Day Fourteen: Post a Youtube video that makes you laugh/inspires you.
Day Fifteen: This is the last day and you are an owl. Place your hands like this over your eyes and take a picture.

just yeaa..

hey.
lol had a pretty good day today.. :) surprisingly. even though i really wanted to go to vianca's house :(
ohh well.

anyways.
well idno why, but i get scared if im in a room alone and someone closes the door.. idno why but i do D: even before on the weekends, i would still be sleeping on a sat morning and my mum would come past and close the door so the sound wouldnt wake me up but if i got up all of a sudden..id go and open the door again. it always had to be opened. i get scared to be alone in a room with the door closed. like atm, im alone in the study and the door is practically shut, but its not like in the thingo. its not closed but its not open? get me. well idno. i found that i get scared to easily, and i get startled even more easily.

..lying in bed. Staring out the window and i see little stars appear of no where, then staying there. Appearing one at a time. Looking so pretty, they are so little but i can still see it from my bedroom window. Looking out and thinking. Wondering. Hoping. Its quiet. Everyone is in their room or sleeping. Already and its so early. But im happy cause i can wake up from my nap and need not worry about ending the night like the past couple..crying --' im tired of doing this, i want to go back to normal not feeling that way cause it just wasnt helping me in any way what so ever.
Even though i am restricted this long weekend. Im gna do what i want and need in order to enjy myself. Im not gna let them take that away.
Im gna try turning over a new leaf, i already know they see ive changed and maybe not in the good way as i argue a lot, im not doing it on purpose. Not really. I just want him to understand. I want him to get to know me. And maybe even care for me. If that is possible for him.
Anyways thats whats on my mind..4 days. And hopefully all will be good. Please. Dnt let anything bad happen. I dnt want my hope to be shattered..just waiting for my mum and i'll be alright. :) i hope.

dear mr goawayplease :(

you know what i dnt like.
i dnt like how i just tried to help you. doing what you asked me to. i only have so much patience with you. but you still find a way to upset me. and well. thats how it works.
okay, i try. i try so hard not to get in ur way, to annoy you. but it seems that we just cant work together properly. you are meant to be the example. i dnt see how ur setting a good example with what you do, with how you treat me. and when you say im not respectful. where the hell is my respect when you talk to me? where is the respect you should give my friends, who have done nothing to you. ever? :( make me upset. i do nothing, i go out of my way to help you. you dont even say thank you. but instead get angry. me loosing patience. i walk away. and i dnt care if ur mad at me.
yea alright. so i always make it clear that you pick on me, but its true. you shout at me. when deandra is there, she does worse and nothing. you dnt say anything..
and then i get a lecture from a third party. saying that i shouldnt say stuff like that, and its the parents fault that they get it into our head. that they love us both equally. yea yea. blahblah. you say that. but i still get treated the same way :(
sit here. alone. trying to hide the tears. well. i know its not worth it. doing this. all the time. i need to ignore it right? well i need to let him know its not alright, im not alright just crying cause you just wont try understanding. its not alright that you dnt listen to me. its not alright that you think you can say that to me. alright. it is not freaking alright.
and here i sit. again. crying. well trying to hold it in. clenching my teeth, but no. one tear escapes and then another..
to you i am just an idiot. well you know what. if you say im an idiot. than i guess i am. i wont argue there. but know one thing. im not just going to act like you do nothing to me, when in fact. what you say. hurts me the most D':
thank you. for everything. really. you made my freaking day.
ps. i always thought you named my ninoshka because you hated the name or something, you chose my name. but the only time i hear it clear, is when i dnt want to :( i guess i have no reason to believe otherwise. but people, so many people do love my name. and so do i. so i guess i can truely thank you for that.

from: someonewhowantstobeheard

one more thing. i play soccer beacause before you didnt have the time to take me. and also having a friend join with me was more modivation to joining. and well. you boast to everyone that i play. but the way you say it when no one is there, is as if im the worst player :( thanks for making me feel better. all the time. you always know the right words dont you.

..sometimes you need other people to stand up for you.

maybe this would sound better:

..sometimes you need other people to stand up for with you.

not because you're dependent on them. but because them doing that for you, gives you the strength to do it for yourself knowing that someone else is also willing to help you stay strong.

well.
i really cant wait till monday. my mum is finally coming home after being in america for 2 months. i have a terrible feeling when she does come home, she will be as usual stressed with work :( *sigh i wish i could help her there. but i know i cant really. but before she left so much was going on in her office, restructure and moving offices. i saw how stressfull it was. how hectik it was. we went to the city one weekend cause my mum was working and she was there all day :(
but yea. im glad she's coming home, even though i get angry and impatient sometimes. im sorry for being disrespectfull and not appriciating you.even when you called home, to ask how everyone was. you always asked me if anyone was bothering me :L and i would always think yes! hahah but then you knew. already you had said yes. making me realise that you know how much i am alone at home, and that im picked on :( my dad and sister arent exactly the best company all the time. and well. i need you to stop them from saying things that hurt me, i feel so alone. no one standing up for me. sometimes i dnt have the strength to stand alone.. and yea. learing to accept that, it wasnt easy. every time i would get pissed so easliy, i really do get outa hand quickly. i just need to shut up cause i say too much..and im even sorry for that. its just that they dnt realise how it hurts me, or even how im sensitive to that. mainly that. but you know. even though we joke around and stuff, you understand what ive gone through. ofcourse. you know you are my main example. my main role model in life..for somethings more than others but yea. somethings are..well :/ uhh. but ohh well. im glad that even being on the other side of the world, you know that they contiune to say that stuff.. :( im glad you realise that.
thank you.
have a safe flight. dont forget anything in america. and next time, please take me with you!
<3

boo :)

lol. i wanted to do that letter thingo. for 30 days but i feel as though i might be repeating myself with some of the letters? and for some i have nothing to say? lol idno. and also if i have something to say, or a letter to write. then i'll say it to the person i need to, and i'll give the letter to the person its too :) hahha. letters are so special. they really are ;)

ps. i love you people who read my blog :) yaay. thank you. have a lovely night and keep smiling ;)

hey..

one thing i dont really understand..
when you are young, you just want to grow up. im guessing this is because being young, limits you to so much, when really you should look at it as though when you are young, you are being prepared for everything life throws at you, just wishing you were older, or wanting to act older than you are makes it hard for you to learn the things and responsibilities you need to look after yourself as well as, i guess not taking the time to appreciate what you have when you have the time to do so.

when you are older, you just dwell on the past, remembering what you did when you were younger, as well as the things you could have done when you were younger but thinking now its too late.

well age is not barrier. okay so maybe it sometimes limits you to doing something, but maybe only in the physical state as in you wouldnt really be able to climb everest if you were much older person who was unable to climb that high or has problems doing so. but if you are fit, and young at heart and determined i dont see how being 60 is any different from being 22. see what i mean? only your mind makes you believe you are limited to so much, maybe in some, but very few cases people use age as an excuse for not being able to do something. or maybe they arent able to. the list is endless..i think? :L hahaha. but yea. my parents, dont always remember their birthdays. not because theyr old and forget about it, but because they are pre-occupied by other stuff. or have no time. lol my dad even forgot his D.O.B :L hahaha. and how old he is --' silly man. but its because after a certain age, i guess it just doesnt matter the amount of yrs you've been born for, i guess its something to celebrate when you are young, and then really old as you have so many accomplishments and stuff. but other than that. what has age got to do with living life to the fullest? its just a number right? haaha and even my mama. she loves life, does what she wants when she can, and she always tells me she's happy to grow old. thats the thing, old or young your still growing, still learning. my mum is so forgetfull, only because of her stressfull and demanding job, but she is also good at remembering so many important things. always haveing time for others. see. and she's not that old. i guess? hahaha.
whenever i say omg why dnt u understand this or something like that, my mum says happily that she's getting old :L hahah. she's not afraid of wringles or aging badly, and why should anyone be? when they cover their wrinkles, who knows for what personal reason that is, but wrinkles are a sign of living life, just like smiling is a sign of happiness. you cant really cover up a smile if you really wanted to could you? it just stand out. and people who try to look younger, with what they wear or how they look, or try to look older, only seem to forget how precious time really is.
they could easily act older when theyr young, and miss the beauty of being a child. and then when they are older, try to look or act younger. do you try to hide that fact from yourself or others? (not aimed at anyone specifically) i just dnt understand why people go to such great measures to change who they are, in age or appearance? you are you. old or young. still learning and growing.

lol i mixed up a bit of stuff in there but yeaa. just on my mind.
hahaha embrace you. your age. embrace the time of now ;)
 have a wonderful night
<3

i wish you took the chance to properly talk to me. try and actually understand what you do to me, and how it affects me..
please..

ohh well. what doesnt kill me only makes me stronger..only this definately doesnt make me stronger..its like a pressure point.

thats all. bye.

*sigh..

okay so no matter how hard i try its not uploading so i'll try again --'

okay. its not working. blogspot you always have problems with videos. so i will try converting it and upload the mp3? ;)
LMAO but your missing out on the look marilyn gives me after i stuff up D: hahaha. pretty funny. but yeaa..lol i wna do another cover with my talented little cousin. :)

you know what?
i like to look at pictures. it makes you remember so much. a certain person, memory, event or anything like that. one smile, can help bring back so much.

omg looking back at this day, both angel and vianca said it was like one of the most memorable days of '08 ever and omg. i loved 2008 like heaps! it was the building blocks of what is today :) hahaha..kinda.
lmao and that was the time when i always brought my camera to school.
*sigh
good times. good times. :)