dear mr goawayplease :(

you know what i dnt like.
i dnt like how i just tried to help you. doing what you asked me to. i only have so much patience with you. but you still find a way to upset me. and well. thats how it works.
okay, i try. i try so hard not to get in ur way, to annoy you. but it seems that we just cant work together properly. you are meant to be the example. i dnt see how ur setting a good example with what you do, with how you treat me. and when you say im not respectful. where the hell is my respect when you talk to me? where is the respect you should give my friends, who have done nothing to you. ever? :( make me upset. i do nothing, i go out of my way to help you. you dont even say thank you. but instead get angry. me loosing patience. i walk away. and i dnt care if ur mad at me.
yea alright. so i always make it clear that you pick on me, but its true. you shout at me. when deandra is there, she does worse and nothing. you dnt say anything..
and then i get a lecture from a third party. saying that i shouldnt say stuff like that, and its the parents fault that they get it into our head. that they love us both equally. yea yea. blahblah. you say that. but i still get treated the same way :(
sit here. alone. trying to hide the tears. well. i know its not worth it. doing this. all the time. i need to ignore it right? well i need to let him know its not alright, im not alright just crying cause you just wont try understanding. its not alright that you dnt listen to me. its not alright that you think you can say that to me. alright. it is not freaking alright.
and here i sit. again. crying. well trying to hold it in. clenching my teeth, but no. one tear escapes and then another..
to you i am just an idiot. well you know what. if you say im an idiot. than i guess i am. i wont argue there. but know one thing. im not just going to act like you do nothing to me, when in fact. what you say. hurts me the most D':
thank you. for everything. really. you made my freaking day.
ps. i always thought you named my ninoshka because you hated the name or something, you chose my name. but the only time i hear it clear, is when i dnt want to :( i guess i have no reason to believe otherwise. but people, so many people do love my name. and so do i. so i guess i can truely thank you for that.

from: someonewhowantstobeheard

one more thing. i play soccer beacause before you didnt have the time to take me. and also having a friend join with me was more modivation to joining. and well. you boast to everyone that i play. but the way you say it when no one is there, is as if im the worst player :( thanks for making me feel better. all the time. you always know the right words dont you.