to you only :)

Dearest vanessa,
omg. im already crying. :(
okay. nvm that.. so i guess other than the fact that you may be leaving..im jst emotional in general..im guessing another 'phase' ? :/

so. my dear friend. today you told me something. well this morning. and it distracted me all through period one. haha hist elect. ohh well. and i couldnt stop thinking about it. not only is angel leaving. probably gabby and yohana and maybe abby and now you too. :(
im really not looking forward to the beginning of next yr..but also as you know. i hardly ever say 'goodbye' and im not gna start. especially with you guys. i love you all too much to say goodbye. its not as yet in my vocab?

so.. as i was thinking earlier..i realised how in 3 yrs, so much happened. and im so happy for that. lol. as you know from all my past stories and stuff.. it wasnt really easy for me to fit in and stuff like that, fell comfortable around people so quick. even with my bestfriends in primary..it wasnt the same. and then getting to know all of you, everyone, the whole group..
but then getting to know a few of you more than others?

within these 3 yrs so far. i have told you jst about everything there is to know about me. haha when i think about it, i feel so fortunate to have friends like you guys, a friend like you who i can tell everything to. someone i can trust and count on. this in a way was also new for me. idno. haha it took some time to stop being that shy girl jst watching..to now being the one who doesnt shut up! :L haha. naww. but you, vanessafaith have been there from the beginning. since i can remember, in yr8 i think it all started? haha, i think it was because vianca was in the phils that i talked to you more. and even got to know you more. then as the yr progressed i felt like we knew eachother so well, with the whole group. i felt to happy and privaliged to now have friends like you.

i didnt only have new friends. but i was able to get to know some of you so well, like you and vianca. and was even able to call you my bestfriends..i actually doubted the fact that i would ever get over the fact that things wouldnt be the same between my primary bestfriends. :/ thinking that i wouldnt be able to call anyone my bestfriend? i know kinda crazy but at the time. i was nieve. --'
lol anyway. it took my like 4 yrs to really know my old friends? i guess. and i dnt want it to seem at all like im comparing you guys. haha coz i love you all the same..maybe you mcauley girls more though? :L haha. made my hs life so much more bareable. :) thank you for that

i never could say thank you enough..to any of you.

lol sorry for making this so long. haha i could write a whole story about the amout of good times we've had together.. everytime i look up at my wall, or even jst through old msgs and pics. i remember so much and i can count that there will be many more to come. i believe.. :) i really do. i dont doubt anymore..not about my friendship with you. coz vanessa. we've got so much to remember. lol every time i go out. so many things..haha like whenever i pass a 'seduce' store..i always remember my embarassing moment at the store in the city..and how you helped me :L haha. cant forget those things..ever.

you helped me with so much. haha even looked after me so well when we went out anywhere. vanessa you're such a good role model, your so responsible and trustworthy but most of all, such a good friend.

lol this isnt a goodbye or anything. jst wanted to let you know. :) you know me and sharing. haha i will miss you so dearly.

so. what i was trying to say is. in what seemed such a short time..but really wasnt. well in a way yes it was. i jst wanted to say, no matter what happens next yr..i will still always be here for you. and i will always have my promises kept..forever! :) lol you made me believe.. lol i forgot what i was gna say..again :L lol. umm. you helped me get past my past, and look forward for the future. you made such a difference.. all those late night dnms. you guys coming over randomly and us making puzzles, doing 'homework' haha taking pics. all those days. all those memories. are ones that i will treasure. thats what makes up friendships in a way right? haha. i know i have changed so much, im so proud to call you my friend. and even more. to have you as one. i tell you everything..so some of this you have heard before? :L lol but yeaa. i still remember that night, i was crying so much coz of my primary friends, and you and vianca helped me. talked it out and i felt to much better.. before. i never really had anyone i could talk to, someone i trusted enough to be myself around, always being too scared that it might end up like last time..but i know. this time its different?

lol. even before..im still kinda scared. how i was gna look for schools i might move too and stuff..then i thought im scared to move..scared to start over.. im still learning. but i need to learn not to be so scared.. im getting there :/

woo..we have all made it so far. haha.

anyways...

i love you vanessaa, thank you so so much. and i really am.."so glad life made us friends." :)

ps. haha sorry i got kinda distracted by other stuff and kept stopping..making me forget what i was gna say. --'
ohh and sorry. kinda got off track. :/ lol. as always. i forgot a lot i had to say so yeaa.. :) may not even make sense but yeaa..sorry.

love always, ninoshka
<3
hehe remember this..