*sad face

its not even funny how unhappy i can be at home.
this atmosphere i come to every day after school. this place i call my home..
its not so bad most of the time. its jst that..ahh idno. all my family have something against me. freaking hell. im so pissed atm i can cry.
:'@
i dnt like being like this, or so negetive but its so frustraiting! i cant be around these people all the time, i jst shut up coz when im this pissed..i say way to much. freak no one even cares, i always get in trouble for nothing. alway get put down. alway have tears running down my face, right now. i feel so angry. my head hurts so much coz im keeping it all in, jst with these tears rolling down my face, wetting the collar of my school shirt.
i hate it. all of it. this feeling where i am accused and balmed! freaking hell give me a break. i dnt care about what u say because its all jst the same.
even when i do cry, its like omg. ninoshka is such a baby. freaking hell fuck off deandra! :@ its always you starting it and me being the victim.
im tried of having all this tension in me, i jst want to be happy when i come home, it doesnt have to be all the time, jst most of the time. these people i live with are meant to be like my family, only they're not here for me when i need them. they are the furthest thing from a shoulder for me to cry on..

..jst leave me alone. :'(

there you have it, the sad truth of how i feel atm, my angry. my sadness.. my family

..i miss my aunty and cousins. i want them here with me.