the ugly truth

okay, to be totally honest im dissapointed in myself, i really am. all of a sudden im getting this attitude in me, the "i dnt care" and "im not bothered" and i dnt want to be lyk that. today i ddnt go to school so i could catch up on my homework but sometimes i try so hard but nothing, im just not 'bothered' doing it. i am the one who goes to school, for myself. not for anyone else but to help myself out, i make the decisions for my future but right now im not doing myself any favours. i need to try harder and make the effort, i have to make the time to get the work done! i dnt no whats going on with my head right now with school but i need to work harder, i want to get back into the advanced english but am i doing anything about it. no im not! why am i doing the opposite of what im thinking, i want to try harder and make the effort but my actions towards what i think are the opposite, i need to change the way i work now, ahh! its so annyoing because i do want to do it but its not getting through. even in calss, im 'not bothered' doing my work but then at home im still not bothered! :/ thats not helping me at all, so im going to put in the effort in class, and change the way i approach my school work now. i have to make the change, or im going to fail! :(