SMILE

I wen to these people's house yesterday and something that was on their table appealed to me. It said:
"A SMILE IS A CURVE THAT SETS MANY THINGS STRAIGHT."

I think this really stood out to me, and i just sat there, while the adults conversed, starting at this image and wondered what it meant. and then i guess, i realised that to every individual it meant something different as we ALL SMILE :D
most of the time its because of the atmosphere we're in, lyk whenever im at school im always smiling because im in a very happy atmosphere and all my friends and laughing and smiling too, so the atmosphere is set. but the part that stood out was the way it was said, a smile is a curve, and yes it is, but its a curve that sets many things straight. i can tell you one thing and that if you know me, you'd know that i can't keep a strsight face at school, idk why but i jst can't help but smile and well, apparently that means something:L haha. well im still thinking about the real meaning for that saying about a SMILE! so if u understand it please help me too. thank you. haha.
have a nice day;)

(L) ..O..V...E

So many people go through the same emotions and omg i just love the song, my everything! by Randolph and Cathy. its lyk such an amazing song and the lyrics! nawww.>< I, myslef havent experienced love, love, not as in love you family and friends but the other kind. lol and i see it everyday, whether its on the train, the road, or even you just see a couple as u pass by a place, its just so cute. to see a couple who really, truely love eachother, you just think NAWWWW! and then lyk u just want that for yourself someday too. haha i no, im getting a bit ahead of my self but a girl can dream;)
also love, or even thr though of love can do so much to a person, haha it really is a powerful and beautiful feeling;)
but i really do love the lyrics to, My everything, so sweet and hahaa i feel lyk singing along each time i hear it. just so lovely.
(8)... coz you make me smile, i just cannot get you off my mind.....
(L)

photography;)

isn't it amazing how you can just look outside and be inspired to do something, change something or be someone? in that one moment that you look outside you don't just see something ordinary but something unique and, well i guess even magical? haha corny?
but really, don't you? the scenary outside can aulter the mood ur in for the day, it could even set your goals for the day or future maybe?
by just looking outside you can see the world, by looking at the sun rise or set, you see something different from the world, a one moment thing. and if you are lucky enought to catch that, then that may just be magic? to catch something as glamerous as that onto a photo or camera is just amazing, its lyk the world stops for a moment and that moment is caught on your camera? i just love to look outside when i wake up, to see the sun rising, or the morning sun in all its colours and beauty. its amazing and not many people have the time to take it all in, and i really enjoy doing so. its so nice to check out something so amazing, the sky isnt the same everyday is it? i dnt think so. i really do love having a good digital camera to catch nature in all its glory.
photography is amazing and photographers have a hard but amazing job<3

to do with friends list: ONE DAY.......

• run down a random street with ness, singing a random song loudly:L haha that'll be fun;)
• have a sleepover at a friend's place(Y) with lyk all fun and games
• go on a camping trip with friends
• go out to the city without adult supervision :O
• take ness to olympic aquatic centre for the first time:L haha
• meet bestfriends from primary (Y)
• do amazing race at the city or any other place with friends

still more to come but i forgot a few. ness u no wot im talking about?remember how i sed i would make a post on the one day things coz everytime i sed something ur lyk ONE DAY... well i forgot some so if u remember please let me know. lol. thanks :D

lesson learnt(Y)

Oh i no, most of my blog isn't all that good to read and well, my lovely friend angelica resently made one and the stuff she wrote about helped me realise what i really should be bloging about and the messages i can send in a way? i dont really know but it really got me thinking so in my blog hopefully i will be able to upload the dedication/podcast made by mary-anne, arianne and i in ist! haha its to all of our wonderfuly awsome friends;) haha but lyk on mine its the same songs though i added more pictures from last year as well(Y) so i hope you enjoy that.
from now on i hope to blog about the good things more than the bad as it doesnt just help me but hopefully others too, just lyk angel's which really got me thinking;)
thankyou<3>

So to start off, i am going to talk about the influences in my life at the moment.:)
right now, at the moment, haha my main influence i think is, well i guess all my friends. they teach me a lot and well, a lot of people seem to call me little girl:L or baby or something lyk that, so haha ye in a way i also look up to them, they always have something educational to say and also we have so much fun together. they really help me get through a lot and im really thankful for that! they teach me so much everyday and also help me understand a lot. they are so patient towards me when i know how annoying or slow i can be sometimes and they dont really complain, i think:L haha. well ye, they really have an influence on me. one thing i also have realised is that i really shouldn't worry or bother about what others say because i can decide for myself on what to do and the people that i call my friends, some people just want to get in the way and im not going to let that happen. i've done that for long enough and i should be the only person to be worrieng about that is they are my friends, so why do people have to judge what i do? :S that is really one thing i have to work on. if my friends dont really care then neither should i because only we should worry about that.

i think thats all, i had everything in my head on what to type but it must have travelled somewhere else. :L im real sorry, i forgot some pics that were really good and lyk i cnt change it now, so ye. real sorry. but still....
HOPE YOU ENJOY IT;) made by, Arianne, Mary-Anne and Ninoshka<3

YOU GLOW, I GLOW;)

OMG NESS. today mann u sure are glowing and haha im laughing at you seeing you so.....:D
its a really good thing. lol how are we gna do the jap thing? omg wna come ova and we can lyk edit at my place if it gets done today? and omg!!!!ur too funny. ness ur lyk wooooo! haha and its pretty good to see. good job(Y)
i was meant to upload the song today but i dnt save the pic proparly so i hope to do it today wen i get home;) hope you enjoy it(Y)
hahah ur baby boy, i wna sing, lalalala;L
haha one day ness, one day. i think the nest post im gna do is all thoes ONE DAY moment thingos we sed we'd do lyk the running down the street thing;) haha that'll b a good kick ass day:L
haha oh well. better get back to ICT.cant wait till next yeaar wen you do it its gna be awsome!woooo. haha you glow i glow ness;)

no title? does it have to be differemt

one thing i've realised going to an all girl school now is that, well its kinda really weird talking to a guy naturally. lyk not having all these different things going on at the same time? its kinda hard to explain, lyk just this afternoon i was catching up with a good friend from primary, which also happened to be lyk my primary crush. lol. anyways i was jst talking to him about stuff and how hes been then i asked if he misses primary and he sed not really, i was lyk really so u lyk high school way more? and he's lyk yes coz of....(i dnt remember wot he sed, sorry)
but then i started thinking, if i did go to sac and all that would i be just lyk the rest of them? idk its so weird now to think of going to a co-ed school only coz, well i've been going to an all girls school for the past 2yrs and a bit. but i went to a normal co-ed primary school and that seems natural, i guess in some ways going to an all girls high school is kinda better, in a way but i dnt think i would have sed the same thing a few yrs ago. it really is so weird now if u do happen to meet/bump into an old primary friend that heppens to be a guy, its not lyk anything has changed a lot, well i dnt really think so but its kinda awkward coz right nxt door to my school there's a boys school and omg some of the girls are lyk......well they act so strange lyk they've never seen guys before, but its really just coz of the school you go to. well at least i think so, that going from a co-ed school to an all girls school is kinda weird and does make certain things strange but why does that have to effect the way u act towards someone you've known for so long, that happens to be the opposite gengre. lol. it just really makes me wonder thats all. :S
lol. i bet u may be thinking something similar to what i sed?

:'(

im so tied of it all. im really losing my patience that way she talks to me. its not something i want to live in at all, yet i do:(
im on the erge of giving up. its just not fare the way im being treated and ive made my first move, we have a four bedroom house and im not sharing MY room with her anymore, im tired of all the insults and the teasing and the put downs i get i really rather live in another house altogether and if my aunty and uncle moved here i would, they are even giving me my own room, which im gna shar with eith my little sister or brother. im a human being that is treated lyk.....well i dnt really know what and wen i do do something in return for what she does to me then i get introuble. its just not justice, and then she says all this crap that makes me cry:'(
i shouldnt give her the sadisfaction of her getting to my emotions but its just too hard to deal with the things she says to me. i ty to old in tears, i clutch mm teeth and try not to but.....i even bite my skin so hard so that it keeps my mouth shut but that obviously hurts and i do leave the room, but its not lyk it happens occassionally when it doesnt, its a constant thing:(
im listening to my soldier but its not really working as much as it did before, im starting to wonder why i bother, maybe i should just take it all in? listen to her lying crap.
ppl thing theres more to her but thats all lies, shes a fucking......ah i hate it!

do i really deserve to be treated lyk this?

please, someone save me!

today has been one of the worst days ever. i think if it wasn't for vianca calling me throughout the day i would have done something really stupid.
alright, this weekend i was really looking forward to because on saturday, today i was meant to go for a friend's party, the city and para? but no, that wasn't going to happen coz im a baby. im only allowed to go to the city wen im 18! there goes half my life waiting to go to the frkn city without my parents. then sunday, tomorrow im going to the aquatic centre with family and hopefully friends too if they're coming?
today was ruined, i woke up not talking to anyone, wen i was still sleeping my mum asked me so wot r u even going to do in the city, and being as stuburn as i am i sed nothing and pretened to still be sleeping, to tell u the truth i ddnt even no wot we were gna b doing. so there's wen i woke up, i had a lot of work to do with my frkn science assignment wich is really killing me, its so complicated. next time it better be more layed out and straight forward, i haven have a slight headache now from being on the computer almost the whole day. to make things worse, me trying to do my stupid report the whole day, my family went to paddies to get stuff before my cousins go home next wk and then my dad was home, in the morning my sister went to tution and it was jst my avomama and me. then my dad was getting pissed at me coz i wasn't helping clean the house coz of this stupid assignment and then wen my sister and everyone else came home my headache got worse, mark jst kept bugging me wen i was on the phone with vianca about science and he was really pissing me off as i really wasn't in the mood, then my frk sister comes into the room calling me names.....oh my gosh..ur such a wonna be.
and i was thinking fuck off. really. and then wen i was still on the fone, shes lyk oh my gosh, get off the phone lyk u think ur all that and ur not even doing ur work...blah blah fucking hell, im so tired of it all, leave me alone. i jst wanted to finish this frkn assigment as it took so much out of me, im so tired and fed up of everyone in my house. we have ppl over now, we always do and im in such a hurry to finish, i think im even going out for diner--' its always me. :S
and jst before our guest arrived i was having a shower and my dad was banging on the door and i really wasn't lyk in the mood and he started shouting and then got pissed at me, i swear, he always picks on me even wen its not my fault. and then he got angry at me. my while day was runined, everyone was giving me a headache, this assignment really isnt helping and i was looking forward to this wkend coz it would b with friends, hopefully tomorrow my friends r able to come? i think it is true, im happiest wen im at school. not because of the work but coz of my friends and they never do anything to me that upsets me or puts me in a bad mood, its the opposite at home and im dying. everyones always arguing or shouting about onw thing or another, and my dad thinks i use homeworks and assignments as a reason to get myself out of doing work wen isnt my assigments work? and he says im a scholar in a sarcastic way, im really tired of it all. someone please save me!
id better get back to it then. science awaits--'

open your damm eyes!

hey ness. i had no credit so im msging back on here. lol uh ye i no ur thinking eww but i have a history with thoes ppl, no matter if they go to sac or not. lol. uh and dw i ddnt hurt her or do anything stupid but i was about to. faa u ddnt hear wot she was saying to me, like it was my frking fault that my uncle was there waiting and she uhhh! takes everyone for granted! far out she has no respect for anyone, like she ddnt even say sorry to my uncle wen she got in the car, and i told her we had to wait back for you coz u ddnt catch the normal thursday train.
my uncle was so so tired but still he waiting and my sister ddnt say thankyou or anything. she's NEVER grateful for wot ppl do for her, no matter wot it is. and it really pisses my off coz she's the oldest but she sure doesn't act like that, shes a frkn retard, u should see wot she does and omg, the way she speaks to my parents, like they sacrifice so much especially for my stupid sister to do the things she wants to and she an't even get decent grades. she probably speaks better to her friends than to my parents, its not fair and then my mum tells her she needs to get respect and that for elders but does she listen, no. and if she wants something she asks my mum and dad like she's the perfect child to get whatever she wants wenever its right for her. and then she gets angry at my mum if im allowed to go out or i get something and she doesn't, the wth how old are you? really. and my mum says that i deserve it and that my sister gets a lot more than me but she doesn't appriciate anything she gets and then she has the frkn nerve to ask for more or tell my parents that she doesnt like this thing. and then like my mum says to stop comparing herself to me, and why the hell does my sister need to compare me to her wen i am so much different, ye sometimes i get moody but i have reason. all the time whether its to do something for me or help out its lyk back answer with so much attitude and omg, then my mum says why dont you learn something from thoes friends of yours.
she says that to me sometimes too but i no wot i do wrong, and my friends r a good influence and teach me a lot.
and then my sister will say something rude to my parents and if i do something to her she'll like say all this crap to upset me and then it's like i did something wrong? wthh hell. can't u find someone else to pik on, she teases me about almost everything, about my friends too, even though thats non of her buisiness. i hate it. and then if i start crying about something she's lyk blah blah blah blah u sook, u cry for no reason. and then she always sticks her nose in my buisness and i get so annoyed, there is nothing i can have to myself, even if my sister has all these clothes she doesn't wear or bought it and wore it once, and then i take it for myself she'll complain to my mum but my mum will just b ninoshka is more greatful than you and u never even wear thoes but i say just coz i have it now u want it. how old r u? faa. i watch movies and i see kids who r lyk 6-10 who do this stuff and there you are, u frkn ungreatful, disrespectful little idiot who is 15!

the show.:L

im just a little bit caught in the middle, life is a maze and love is a riddle. i don't no where to go im moving along..... haha i dnt no the rest. ye i no, its class time and im in class, ist class to be exact! haha and i just helped ness with her music thing and the song was linka, the show? so its kinda in my head and so is lollipop--'
lol but i finally got a lillipop after craving one the whole weekend!(Y) lol haha funny times.
haha ness, it seems that we ahev having yet another technical difficulty. its always our calss, but no the other class gets a smooth running class, lol oh well. all's good with love and war? haha
ok, i'll do the right thing now and log into my istblogspot (Y) haha. this is fun, i cna't wait till ness and other ppl do ist next year, how fun will that be? lol were gna make a ringtone today. ok ttly.
;)

iny meany miney moe?

is it always fair. not for me, it seems everytime something goes wrong in my house i always get blamed even if i wasn't there at the time. i swear i could be on the other side of the globe and my dad would still find a way to blame something on me. its not fair, i may be the bad one sometimes but it only looks that ways because my stupid sister is such a pussy if she does something to me i dnt really scream or make a sound but if i go to pay her back i dnt even touch her and OMFG she screams or starts running away like im trying to kill her or something but IM NOT!!! and just last night something painful happened. and its NOTHING TO LAUGH ABOUT!:S but so much crap has been going on and now im so worried. not just for my family but for so many people i no are going through a lot right now:( its not fair.
the real question is why do bad things happen to good people?

this blog is definately not finished. i missed a lot coz im not bothered right now to write it all. but i will.