So I'm currently at my uni library, waiting for my next class and thoughts are circulating my mind..round and round and its really just, well, its.. self confrontation..
Recent events have lead up to this and I know partly why I have these circulating thoughts..but more specifically, its what they're about that worries me..
I feel that right now, I'm at a point in my growing up that I've realised I don't like who I've become, I have no real goals, I don't work hard at uni or study much (yet I expect good results) and I don't like who I've become lately..
This lazy me. I know I'm a lazy person but I also know its never been this extreme (okay extreme seems a little dramatic but whatever)
One of my best friends said something that manifested a lot of these thoughts in my mind at this present time, something that I kept close at heart..a little reminder of something I valued..that no longer seems applicable (little did I know)
and so I'm here..in this point in my life where I'm not proud of myself (I have no real reason to be) and I don't know..these thoughts, this self confrontation, it scares me because never did I think that there would be a time in my life (although I'm still quite young) where I wouldn't be happy with myself or my actions and not be able to act on them (not because I can't..but because I have yet to do so..)
This post is unclear, and so much is going on in my head I just wanted to pour some of it out and well, I hope this constant self reflection and evaluation is beneficial and I learn from myself and realise my potential and just get on with creating the person I want to be..because I need to. I..I can't really be happy right now because I don't like the person I am when it comes to myself..
Recent events have lead up to this and I know partly why I have these circulating thoughts..but more specifically, its what they're about that worries me..
I feel that right now, I'm at a point in my growing up that I've realised I don't like who I've become, I have no real goals, I don't work hard at uni or study much (yet I expect good results) and I don't like who I've become lately..
This lazy me. I know I'm a lazy person but I also know its never been this extreme (okay extreme seems a little dramatic but whatever)
One of my best friends said something that manifested a lot of these thoughts in my mind at this present time, something that I kept close at heart..a little reminder of something I valued..that no longer seems applicable (little did I know)
and so I'm here..in this point in my life where I'm not proud of myself (I have no real reason to be) and I don't know..these thoughts, this self confrontation, it scares me because never did I think that there would be a time in my life (although I'm still quite young) where I wouldn't be happy with myself or my actions and not be able to act on them (not because I can't..but because I have yet to do so..)
This post is unclear, and so much is going on in my head I just wanted to pour some of it out and well, I hope this constant self reflection and evaluation is beneficial and I learn from myself and realise my potential and just get on with creating the person I want to be..because I need to. I..I can't really be happy right now because I don't like the person I am when it comes to myself..
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