Self-inflicted rant

So I have two assignmeny due tomorrow..my last two..weighing 30% and 35% both of which I've done the bare minimum for and I'm just extremely irritated at myself for leaving it ao last minute dispite telling myself I wouldn't and id learn from last time..but I didnt and even worse cos its twice as bad this time..

Bottom line is, (I feel like a brat saying this) but I just dont want to do it, and as terrible and as pathetic as that sounds, thats the reason that comes to mind when I question myself with this irresponsible behavior! I have no clue where im going or what I want to do with my life. I feel like I have no ambition and again that makes me even more annoyed at myself because if I had even the slightest clue then at least id be more willing and motivated to do better and apply myself more at uni work.

I dont like being like this. I don't like being this kinda person who feels they have no direction...

I know I can be organised and if I wanted to and applied myself more I know I can do so much better! That annoys me too, that I know I can do better, yet I dont.

I believe its true when people say you are the only thing standing in your way..to achieve greatness or anything really..
I am the one whos pathetic
I am the one whos making excuces for myself, to myself to try and justify why I do what I do (most of the time this is useless)
I am the one whos not making the effort or choosing not to apply myself.

For whatever reason it is, it comes down to me. If I dont like who I am in doing this then obviously I gotta stop making excuses and do something about it..and its not that I dont want it enough, it's just I don't know why..

I am my worst enemy.