crossroads

happiness is not something you should count by the bucket load but something you should feel and see with your eyes shut.


so i was confused. for a while. and i think now, im over it. i've made up my mind..funny thing is atm chasing pavements is on well just finished. and how its my solider :)
anyway. what i want to say is that i may not know exactly what i want to do, but im pretty sure its not engineering. it confused me for so long, making me worry. now that i think about it, it doesnt matter what i do. as long as i love it and as long as im happy. if it takes long for me too find that so be it, but im not going to waste precious time worrying about it anymore..for now at least.

the past couple of days i've been pretty inspired. by blogs ive read and people ive seen, stories ive heard, words that just spoke out to me..
ive been worrying about something so minute, things less important. ive realised and opened my eyes to the bigger things, the more important things. the realisation of how lucky i am, sometimes i just forget that when really i should be reminded everyday with what i have. i should just know how lucky ive got it. the sun is shining into the room atm and i feel so calm, having  had today to really sort myself out and then having a dnm with majelle that really got a lot out..i feel content with myself. i feel happy. i am happy. im alone and ive had time to think. i know that, the only thing i have to worry about is making sure i dont get too sick and concentrate on my sc which i plan to do well in! i really want to do it for myself.

i spend too much time feeling sorry for myself, or being selfish or not appreciating what i really should be thankful for. i need to just live life like there's no tomorrow, even if i may have regrets i learn from that. i want to be more independent and so far im not going to well, well atm im independent with relying less on my parents..as for my empolyment..i have none..but i'll just keep doing what im doing if it means to reapply every few month eventually i'll get a job..hopefully :L

anyway i better get going. ive been meaning to blog for a while but whenever i wanted to, i couldnt or i didnt want to but im glad i did. :)

have a lovely evening :) smile. be happy. laugh. cry. love. learn. take the opportunities you get. be proud of yourself.

alright thats all from me for now :)
i hope to blog more often now lol <3